Free like a Butterfly
by sirspam174
Summary: So, you've reincarnated in one of your favorite fictional universes. What's your first course of action? Not to screw up the timeline of course! How could you hope to survive through it all if your knowledge of the future ends up becoming useless? You can't. Therefore watch our protagonist as he tries, and fails, to keep the plot perfectly on track.
1. A strange new World

**Chapter 1: A strange new World  
**

Being an orphan sucks. I'll be the first to admit that. Of course, it would have sucked a whole lot more if I was a normal child. Thankfully this is my second time around.

Yep, that's right. I seem to have been reincarnated in a whole new, possibly wonderful world.

Who'd have thought it was possible? Definitely not good ol' agnostic me that's for sure.

Strange part is there was no fanfare whatsoever. No talk about being summoned here. No gods I met who brought me to the cycle of life and death.

Nothing.

Perhaps I just cannot remember what happened because of my underdeveloped baby-brain. Even now I have trouble staying focused, or even really formulating concise thoughts...

I don't know exactly how old I was when I first noticed what was going on. Interestingly my mind seems to have more trouble remembering my childhood than the memories from before my new life. I can blame that on my underdeveloped brain as well most likely.

But enough about the past, who really cares about that anyway? Well, really I'm just trying to keep myself entertained with my thoughts, since I can't really talk to anybody. Ugh, there I go rambling again, let's finally address the elephant in the room.

This world, whichever it is I've been born into, is very strange.

Firstly: Everyone speaks japanese. I may not be fluent yet, but I've watched enough anime to know what it sounds like.

Sec-

_What's that?_

A child is crying. Which one is it? Maybe I can smother them before anybody notices… hah just kidding. I can barely even lift a pillow with my chubby little arms. Even crawling around is a huge chore, but I gotta keep up my training, especially if I want to read books at some point. I've been holding off talking to someone since the other children haven't started to either.

Okay back on topic.

Second: The tech is wayy out of whack. We have fully functioning, modern looking, lights. But where the hell are all the car sounds!? Also, the few times I've actively looked outside the window I haven't seen any high rises whatsoever. Seems to be a weird blend of modern tech with old culture.

Third: It constantly feels as if I'm drowning. Figuratively of course. Well not exactly figuratively but I digress… it feels like I'm in an extremely humid climate, only that I feel no humidity.

No.. that doesn't fit right.

It feels like my insides are stuffed with water? Or air? _Something_. But not only my insides. Even around me I can feel a slight… pressure, if you will. And there's definitely some of it coming from other people as well. Though the children have barely any, and the caretakers only a little bit.

There's this one kid who feels very different though. I haven't really seen much of him because he's kept in another room, but every now and then when he's around I feel like the entire atmosphere's pressure increases.

I've never been one to believe in the supernatural. But after much deliberation - actually mostly just considering the whole "reborn" thing - I can't quite rule out the idea that maybe perhaps there's an itsy bitsy chance that the stuff I'm feeling is some form of energy.

And if _that's_ the case, then I might have been reborn in an awesome fantasy universe. One with magic and… well mostly just magic.

And you bet that I'll do my very best, like no one ever was, to learn how to use this magical energy.

Not like I have much else to do really.

* * *

Two weeks into my mana training and I still got nothing.

Scratch that, I do have something. Good and bad news. Actually more like mediocre and disappointing news.

Mediocre: I've confirmed that the pressure I feel around my and inside myself is seemingly the same kind of energy, and courses through me in some strange cycle, almost like a second cardiovascular system.

Disappointing: I don't seem to have much more mana (yes I know it's geeky to call it that) than anybody else. Barely a fraction of what that one kid seems to. Perhaps genetics play a roll? I hope not, because in that case I may be screwed.

Besides that, I still haven't managed to interact with this mana in any way, maybe I should get back to attempting to find a book? Japanese is such a bother though, maybe I should finally start talking? The other kids do seem to mumble a lot, and I know that I've probably been uncharacteristically quiet for a baby...

* * *

"Satoya yameru!"

**"Back off lady, I'm trying to grab a book!"**

There she goes swooping me up off the chair. I was so close to the top shelf too!

"I'm gonna be extra messy when I eat today," I say in a cutesy happy tone.

Of course she didn't understand that, as I was speaking English. It's the sentiment that counts though.

It was actually a great way for me to feign baby talk. Just speak in a language nobody but me understands. In fact I probably spend more time speaking in "babytalk" than Japanese. It's hilarious to see the caretakers get all riled up because they damn well know I can understand them.

"Hanae-san please. I wanna reeaad."

"No, it's time for your nap."

Ugh, those were the absolute worst. I just want to continue learning about kumiko's adventure in the magical forest. Less out of interest for the story, and more because it taught all sorts of kanji like apple, tree, forest, fish, wolf, even kunai… yeah it was a little weird at parts.

On the bright side, no matter what they did they couldn't stop me from my mana practice!

Quite boring practice to be frank, but at least it feels like less of a waste of time than napping.

I reckon I've been practicing magic for a few months at this point with very limited success.

I have gotten a bit better at determining whose energy is whose and I can vaguely tell their position without seeing them. Getting caught in the act of climbing atop a chair despite my ability shows I have a lot to learn.

What do I even know about it so far? Not a lot

Mana definitely comes in different flavors: Internal and external. Additionally, there is definitely a biological component to it, a secondary circulatory system through which the energy courses. My own system is beginning to develop hot spots at certain areas in my body, most notably in my torso.

I haven't noticed any pressure increase coming from the other children, at least not as much of one as from myself. This leads me to believe I may have awakened these pathways prematurely through my bit of prodding. Perhaps they develop naturally and I have simply won the genetic lottery.

Any attempts to shift it around causes an inordinate amount of pain. Just in case it stimulates growth I keep slightly shifting it nonetheless.

If this truly helps, then I can't imagine what monstrous amount of self harm the child next door went through. Either that or he was simply lucky and will have an enormous amount of power when he grows up.

_I gotta keep at it. Can't be left in the dust by some baby!_

* * *

Something is seriously messed up here.

It took me long enough to realize, but the prodigy baby isn't just in a different room.

It has a _private_ room. At first I thought it might be because they're the heir of some famous wizard clan or something. Then I noticed how angry the caretakers seemed to be whenever they entered the room to feed the child.

That, and the fact that they often referenced a word around him which I inferred meant something along the lines of "demon".

Now, I'm not a naturally superstitious person. However, magic exists in this world. The child has a lot of it.

I'm not saying I automatically believe everything the caretakers say… but odds are the child might actually be part mythical creature. I mean, who am I to judge?

In any case, I should probably be careful around them if they are ever allowed out of their room.

_What's his energy level at, anyway?_

Focusing all my attention on the other side to measure myself against him shows me I'm still pathetically weak.

More training is in order I guess. Especially if demons are real and powerful. Wouldn't want to end up crushed again.

_Heh… yeah._

* * *

I done goofed. Messed up. Screwed myself.

All of the above.

It all happened so innocently, you know? I just wanted to cheer up a kid who was getting ignored by everyone. I mean come on, how couldn't I?

There he was, crying in the corner with whiskers drawn on his face as someone's poor attempt at a joke. All while the people who should have been consoling him were sending him hateful glares, and nothing much else.

What kind of ex-grownup would I be if I didn't try and cheer him up after that? Sure there may have been a bit of a secondary objective to it, but who doesn't want powerful allies?

And when he asked me if I wanted to be his friend, how could I refuse?

"Of course I'll be your friend!" I say, reaching out with my hand. "I'm Satoya Nibui, what's your name?"

"Naruto Uzumaki," the kid answers.

_Oh no._


	2. Fateful Encounters

**Chapter 2: Fateful Encounters**

This is bad. _Seriously_ bad.

If this kid is really Naruto, as in the Naruto, the protagonist of one of my childhood favorite TV series.

Suffice it to say I'm totally unquestionably absolutely fucked.

"Satoya, you okay?"

My heart was beating out of my chest and it felt like I might accidentally hurl my guts out as I opened my mouth.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I managed to croak.

"Leave him alone you little devil!" a panicky voice shouted across the room.

"But I didn't do anything!" Naruto yelped in protest.

"Look at him, brat!" Nana hissed. "Did he do anything to you Satoya-chan?"

"I- uh- I mean.."

_What do I say? Should I defend him? But what if I alter the timeline. Gods why does it have to be Naruto, why not some unknown world!?_

"You've clearly traumatized him. Go back to your room and think about what you did!"

"But-"

"No buts! You better leave now mister, or else it's no dinner again."

He gave me a heart wrenching look of betrayal, sadness, and fear. What was he afraid of? Was he worried about me?

As soon as he left the room, I retreated into the corner of the room and curled up into a ball.

_Yup, I'm panicking. Never had a panic attack before._

Well, there was that one time, but that hardly counted. I think most people would panic in a situation like that. Anyway, I had more pres-

Important concerns at the moment than my body's overreaction to a bit of newfound information. Mainly, what was I going to do with it?

_I'm quite possibly in a fictional universe._

At least the name and look fit, though everything being in 3D made it hard to tell. Of course, it shouldn't be too hard to confirm. Simply go around looking for the first mount rushmore look-alike in my vicinity to confirm.

* * *

"How did I miss that?"

There they were… the four Hokage.

_I wonder if they'll also change the way they look every other day like in the anime_.

Actually that raises an interesting question. Do anime rules apply in this universe? What will happen in place of hugely over the top reactions? Maybe everything will be far more subdued and serious.

I may be getting ahead of myself here to begin with. Sure, this place is called Konoha - I really should have noticed that sooner, but I was busy learning magic - and the Hokage monument exists and Naruto exists.

This raises some interesting questions about the thing I called mana and magic.

Clearly that was a misnomer since it was most likely chakra I was feeling. Subsequently this in turn means there's not magic, but rather Ninjutsu, Genjutsu, Taijutsu and Fuuinjutsu.

_And sage arts I guess. I'd probably have a relatively easy time learning it since I can seemingly feel nature energy all the time. Or maybe it's just background noise from every little bit of energy that others might expel by using jutsu, or maybe just exude naturally?_

I didn't have enough information. Not to mention that all the information I had may not even be true. Either I could flawlessly predict the future, or the world doesn't follow the anime's storyline at all.

Clearly this world couldn't be a perfect recreation, since some of the animation done in an Anime would be impossible to do with real bodies. If it was only the general storyline that was followed, were fillers canon? Did people really talk for ages before starting their battles?

Even if it turned out this is a carbon copy of the original story, that doesn't bode well for me. The Naruto universe is quite deadly and if I haven't heard anything about any "Satoya Nibui" it either means he didn't exist in the original story, or was a noname background character.

Even worse, it might mean he died before he got a single bit of screentime. I feel healthy enough, but you never know.

Best case scenario: This is the stereotypical isekai story about a guy who wished to get reborn into an awesome fictional world and will use his knowledge of the future to become incredibly overpowered and get harem composed out of literally every single living creature that ever comes into contact with him.

_Not sure if that one isn't actually the **worst** case._

The best case is really just a pipe dream. From everything I could tell so far I'm not exactly suited to the "main character" role. Especially considering I met the real main character yesterday.

I am still me after all. A person who was nothing special during the close to thirty years he lived. I didn't end up meeting a god after death, didn't make some deal with the devil, nothing.

I wasn't even a shut in with no friends that isekai so typically prefer, nono. I was plenty social and had a semi-stable job. Just your typical run of the mill average joe.

I'd like to think I was a good programmer at least. Never anything truly exceptional, however.

'Wouldn't this be the ideal time to become something more?' is what a stereotype would say.

The answer is a resounding 'maybe'. Becoming a powerful shinobi is not an easy task and depends hugely on one's natural abilities.

Let's count how many I have:

One, my chakra sense, which is really just a way worse version of the byakugan.

Two, potential knowledge of the future.

Three, a degree in computer science with a master's in programming, which is completely worthless.

So really I have around 1.5 advantages over the average ninja. One may question why knowledge of the future is not as amazing as it sounds. Simple: The good ol' butterfly effect. That thing about how a butterfly's wings can cause a hurricane many kilometers away.

The theory also applies to time travel. Let's say I save the third Hokage during Suna and Orochimaru's invasion. The good-hearted decision would naturally be to save him.

But what would his survival mean down the line? Could it cause the other villages to be more fearful of Konoha and perhaps spark a new war? If such a war took place, how would the Akatsuki react? Would naruto maybe end up dying before the events of Shippuden? Is the world doomed then?

Even small things might cause awful things to happen. The very situation I am currently in might derail the entire canon.

If I befriended Naruto at such a young age, would he not be his usual boisterous, attention-grabbing self when he grows older? How would that affect everything else in the future? If he becomes self-confident, even succeeds in the Academy exam, will that mean he never learns the shadow clone technique? What happens then?

Too many ifs.

I can't take that risk in good conscience. I know that the original storyline has a good ending. While there are certainly many tragic moments in the show, most of the main cast, Konoha's Rookie Nine, end up living happily ever after.

And how awful would it be if my interference causes all of it to go wrong.

Simultaneously I cannot afford to do nothing either. If I don't increase in strength somehow then I cannot hope to survive until the end.

Gaining power without altering canon… extremely difficult. Gaining power whilst barely altering canon? More doable, but consequences are hard to predict.

_Should I just say 'screw it' and go for the best ending possible? Save as many people as I can?_

Even if attempted it would probably alter the future to such a degree that any foreknowledge becomes worthless. Altering any tragedies that happen before the show starts, such as the uchiha clan massacre, was also impossible at such a young age.

_So what can I do at the moment?_

Nothing much was the most likely answer. Continue training and hope for the best. At least until the Academy starts.

Now to address the Jinchuuriki in the room.

Being friends with Naruto could disrupt the future.

Breaking my vow of friendship might horrifically disrupt the future if it somehow jades Naruto beyond recovery.

_No matter how small a risk, I cannot chance something like that happening. I guess becoming friends it is._

I completed my mission by the end of the day.

"Hey Naruto, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I have an illness that sometimes acts up and it happened at the worst possible time."

He narrowed his eyes a bit, but after a moment's consideration his mouth widened in a cheerful grin.

_That was surprisingly easy._

* * *

Even though befriending Naruto may have been a mistake in the long-term, I enjoyed his company nevertheless. Sure he was a little hyperactive and loud, just like any young child, but years of neglect have made him quite self sufficient and he's far more physically fit than I was even as an adult.

He taught me all about sneaking out of the building and the best places to gather plants or catch fish.

Not only that.

Jumping from tree to tree, doing front and backflips - why the heck would he practice those? - , dashing around the forest and fairly accurately throwing pebbles at targets he'd set up for himself.

I did my best to keep up with him, but was nearly worthless in comparison. At least I had thirty years of life advice to pull from and empart.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" I asked him one day while we were out adventuring.

"I don't know. Everyone was always so mean until you came along. It should've gotten better then… Instead you also get treated poorly."

Were I a normal child, becoming shunned for befriending Naruto would have been awful. In actuality it was a huge boon.

Not only did it guarantee that Naruto remains mostly an outsider like in canon, but it also allowed me to learn and practice all sorts of things now that the caretakers were no longer guarding me like mother hens.

"It's okay. They're all a bunch of dummies anyway. I'd much rather hang out with you than be coddled by them."

Judging by his frown Naruto wasn't quite convinced.

"I'm serious, Naruto. Just because they're grownups doesn't mean they're right. Just because people call you a monster doesn't make you one. I'm certain anyone who thinks that of you just hasn't gotten to know you well enough."

His expression immediately brightened.

_I hope I'm not pushing it too much. Though I'm mostly just reciting future Naruto's own thoughts back to him._

"Now why don't you teach me how you can climb up those trees so fast. I have no idea how."

"Heh, I guess I'm just that amazing."

Truly he was. Not even four yet and already able to climb huge trees without breaking a sweat. The kyuubi must be helping him out somehow.

_I can't afford to fall too far behind the power curve. Even if chakra manipulation is still extremely uncomfortable I need to get over it at some point!_

"I heard that shinobi can walk up trees by sticking their feet to them," I said without thinking.

"Really? I need to learn how! That would be so awesome."

_Ah shit, there I go altering the timeline again._

"You still need to teach me your normal method!"

"But I can just figure out something better, and teach that to you instead. I'll be done in an hour, believe it!"

_Good luck with that._

While Naruto spent around half an hour attempting to treewalk without any clue about chakra control, I was steadily gaining in height.

I was close to the top before he got fed up with his lack of progress and decided to race me instead… and got to the top in about half a minute.

"I _lost_ with such a lead!? I'm a disgrace to my clan!" I yelled out dramatically.

Naruto gave me a bewildered look. "You have a clan?"

"Uhh no… that was a joke."

Naruto burst into laughter. "Your sense of humor is awful Satoya."

"Gee thanks."

_Good to know nothing's changed._

* * *

We spent the rest of our day scouting around for food and fun, me doing my best to steer us away from any larger chakra signals in case they were predators. Once the sun had set we made camp and Naruto got a fire going to cook our food with.

Not to brag, but we got quite the haul. Five fish, which were roasted on sticks, and a whole basket of mushrooms that was getting boiled as a stew over the fire.

It was the best meal I'd eaten in weeks.

_Could use a bit of salt though._

Naruto and I both just sat there for a bit, savoring the fish's delicious umami flavor.

**"What the shit!?"** I reflexively shout in English as I notice an old man sniffing at Naruto's fish.

_How the heck did I not sense him coming? Maybe he's so old that his chakra level is too low?_

"Who are you?", Naruto asks him.

"Just an old man passing through," he says placatingly.

_That's utter horsecrap. As if a random old man would venture up here to the cliffside._

The man eyed the fish hungrily.

I was about to tell him to back off before Naruto interrupted with "Do you want one Jiji?".

I shot him a betrayed look.

"Oh, I couldn't possibly," said the old man. The noise of his stomach said otherwise.

"Here gramps, eat this."

_Aaaaargh_

"Oh, thank you. This looks very good." the old man answered.

"We _did_ catch them ourselves," I intoned rather passive aggressively.

"Yeah, you bet it's gonna taste good then!" Naruto added.

"Is that so?" the old man chuckled, before taking a bite and burning his tongue. "H-Hot!"

_Serves you right for taking our hard earned food!_

Of course I didn't voice any of my thoughts. Even if being as utterly selfless as Naruto would realistically lead to a life of suffering,

He somehow made it work originally. Attempting to adjust his personality could have catastrophic consequences, so I let it be.

We spent the next few minutes silently enjoying our meal. Once I was done I flopped on my back and stared up to the sky.

_You never got such an amazing view back home. I wonder how everyone's doing?_

I may have never amounted to much, but I did have family. Family which I would likely never see again.

_I should be happy I got another chance at life. But… why me? Why am I here? Is this some weird fever dream? Did I get rewarded for my good deeds?_

_For what was I chosen? I never asked for this. I would have been happy remaining an average joe._

_Then again… when did I stop wishing to be something special?_

As if reading my mind, Naruto broke the silence with a question: "Ne, Gramps. What did you want to be when you were younger?"

"Me? Oh nothing special. Just like any young man I wanted to become a great shinobi! Influential enough to change the world for the better."

"Ehh, a shinobi?" Naruto commented with his mouth agape.

"Of course, things do not always work out as one hopes. The universe is a complex thing. And the world does not revolve around a single person."

Gramps let out a huff.

"I want to change the world!" Naruto started. "I want to prove everyone wrong. That I'm worth more than they think! If people were to accept each other. If they stopped being so afraid and hateful, and try to understand one another…"

"The world would certainly be a far better place," I finished.

The old man looked up into the sky and let out a sigh.

"Look at those stars. Each one of them is like our world's sun. What do you think? The sheer amount is incredible, eh?"

"The sun? That giant thing that shines on the sky during the day?" Naruto asks.

"Yes. This world is boundless."

"That's amazing. You sure know a lot, gramps!"

_Seems more like common knowledge to me. To be fair I'm not actually three years old._

"Compared to the vastness of the world, man's existence is very insignificant. The things that we humans fret about are petty indeed."

"No kidding. The world is big, huh. It just goes on and on…"

He was interrupted by the sound of my stomach growling.

"Sorry," I say awkwardly. "I think the mushroom stew is about finished."

And though it pained me to say it, I still asked: " Would you like some of it, gramps?"

"Are you sure you can spare me some?"

"Sure we can!" Naruto enthusiastically answers. "You tell great stories, gramps."

I was already handing out some bowls we had originally nabbed from the orphanage's kitchen. They were supposed to have been for us to use anyway.

I was already enjoying my first few bites as the old man asked me whether I knew if these mushrooms were safe to eat.

_Uhh…_

"Well know by tomorrow, won't we?"

"I'm sure we'll be fine," Naruto said nonchalantly.

_Of course you'll be fine. The kyuubi makes sure of it!_

Thankfully the mushrooms turned out to be perfectly edible.

* * *

It was around noon the next morning when we were cloud watching on our favorite spot atop The Hokage monument.

"He's right," Naruto mumbled.

"Hmm?"

"Gramps was right, yesterday. Compared to the entire world, I'm just…"

_I don't think I like the sound of this._

"I'm so small, whatever I do…"

_Oh no. Did I cause this? Did I accidentally make Naruto depressed by causing his meeting with the old man?_

I could already sense the panic setting in. If Naruto lost his cheerful demeanor it might ruin everything!

_I'm no psychologist! How could I ever manage to help him? And the rest of the village still hates him so they won't help either._

I'm totally screwed. The whole world may have been doomed because of me!

"But I'm me. That's who I am!" I suddenly hear beside me.

"C'mon Satoya, let's go!" Naruto called before jumping straight off the Mountain.

_I think I'll just climb down safely…_

* * *

A few weeks later I came across my first shinobi. A member of ANBU, even.

"Under authority of the Hokage, I request the release of one Uzumaki Naruto and one Ibui Satoya."

"Did we do something wrong?" I inquired.

_It's so weird how little chakra I feel from him. If I didn't see him standing right in front of me, I'd be doubting he even exists._

"I will escort you both to the third Hokage. He will inform you personally of what is to come."

_Sounds ominous. Maybe I shouldn't have encouraged Naruto's prankster nature._

On second thought, the third Hokage was always a huge softie in the Anime. We were probably going to be just fine.

Naruto was uncharacteristically quiet on our way to the third's office. And not just because he had not gotten to know the Hiruzen yet.

"Psst. Is something wrong?" I whispered.

"You don't think it's because of the itching powder, do you?"

I took a hard look at the ANBU escorting us.

"No way it's that. This would be a huge overreaction. I trust the Hokage has a completely innocuous reason for calling us."

_Actually, I think I know exactly what's about to happen._

* * *

"Ah welcome, welcome. Why don't you children take a seat."

_No way!_

"You're the old man from the forest!" Naruto exclaims as I sit next to him with my mouth agape.

Shame on me for not having recognized my own Hokage.

"Indeed I am, Naruto. I've been quite interested in finding out more about you after our talk. Such a bright young man forced to go hunting for his own food? I am truly disappointed in the audacity of our own citizens."

_Wow, he sure is laying it on thick. Not like he's known about Naruto this entire time._

"As a token of my sincerest apologies, I'd like to offer you a place of your own. You will still be looking after yourself, but I will personally pay your rent and increase your monthly stipend."

So that's how he got his apartment. It made sense. Anyone who investigated how Naruto was treated for even a day would want to help him out. The remaining question was: Why would the Hokage take this long to notice something was up?

_Call me a conspiracy theorist. But to me this seems like a blatant attempt at manipulation. Make Naruto believe you 'saved' him from his torture and he'll feel indebted to you._

In retrospect that means I too manipulated Naruto into caring about me. It may have accidentally been the smartest thing I did in my second life.

There was no safer role than being one of the MC's friends after all.

Except Neji, I guess. The ship had to sail somehow.

"Pardon me Sandaime-sama. Does this offer extend to the both of us?" I inquired.

"Of course! Why else would you have come here?"

Shit.

"Can you truly afford to take care of the two of us? I wouldn't want to intrude," I tried.

Please say no!

"No need to worry. As I have already prepared an extra apartment."

"I see."

An extra apartment you say? Does that mean Naruto and I each get one for ourselves?

I can't just ask him that, can I? That's too rude.

"Gramps does that mean we won't live together anymore?" Naruto thankfully asked for me.

"No, the apartments are too small to share," Hiruzen stated.

Success!

"I will, however, make sure to place you two in neighboring rooms," the Hokage concluded.

Failure!

Naruto's eyes lit up.

"You hear that Satoya? We'll be next door neighbors and get to live on our own! This'll be so great. l"

I'm sure it will...

"We can come and go whenever we please-"

We already did that.

"-No longer have to follow mealtimes,-"

That implies they even regularly fed us.

"-And be as loud as we want!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly.

We'll still have other neighbors though…

I belied my thoughts and answered: "Sounds great."

"That settles it then. I will have someone pick you up tomorrow morning for the move," the Sandaime concluded.

And shortly after his closing statement we were ushered back out of the office.


	3. The greatest Motivators

**Chapter 3: The greatest Motivators**

I may not have been enthusiastic enough about living on my own. Even a single year of being treated as a baby, followed by another of getting treated like dirt, was more than enough.

It wasn't as if I relied on the orphanage in any way. With my newly increased monthly stipend I could easily manage to take care of basic necessities like food and clothing.

In fact, living on my own was a huge boon. I could cook for myself, meaning never again would I need to come face to face with cream spinach again. I could also come and go without needing to sneak out. I could laze around as much as I liked.

I had no responsibilities whatsoever.

**"This is so boring."**

It truly was.

No internet, no TV, not enough books. There simply wasn't enough to do.

There was only so much chakra sensing practice one could do in a day before wishing to smash one's head against a brick wall.

_Where's Naruto been? _

It's already been over a day since I heard a single peep come from his apartment.

_I should probably check up on him._

It wasn't like I was actively ignoring Naruto since we moved. More like… I just happened to be shopping whenever he knocked on my door. Climbing out the window instead of taking the stairs is just shinobi practice. And of course that has to be stealthy!

_Who am I kidding of course I've been ignoring him._

But not without good reason. Naruto simply cannot be allowed to become dependent on me.

It would change far too much. Also it's better to become distant now while we're still younger, so he gets used to it and his dynamic with Team 7 won't be influenced too much.

_What if he isn't as obnoxiously loud because I gave him enough attention not to warrant it? Perhaps Sasuke might actually like him then._

I truly shudder to think what would happen if their dysfunctional relationship was, well, functional.

"Hey Naruto!" I say after knocking on his door.

"You in there, buddy?"

Silence…

That's not a good sign. Not a bad one either. More like a neutral sign.

_He's probably off shopping or something._

Normally I'd have waited for him to get back. I was especially bored today though, so instead I decided to do a bit of what I enjoy training least: Physical fitness.

_Ugh, off to the forest I go._

After all it was difficult to practice under the watchful eyes of the ANBU stationed around our building.

_Heh, don't think I wouldn't recognize your chakra signature, faceless shinobi #4. You've been sticking around quite frequently._

In their defense, they weren't trying especially hard to suppress their chakra. They were meant to act as a deterrent as much as actual defense. Being perfectly hidden would only invite chaos.

_Good thing they don't care enough about me to bother following me around town._

I wasn't Konoha's 'prized' Jinchūriki after all.

* * *

"Oh wow, Naruto actually broke one of the targets," I mumbled to myself as I finally got to our makeshift forest training ground.

He was definitely getting better at throwing rocks. Guess he had to if he wanted to become even close to as proficient as all those clan kids in the academy were.

Hopefully it was actually a rock that caused the damage… Perhaps he has quite a bit of pent up rage thanks to my ignoring him.

_Probably nothing to worry about. He's always been quick to forgive._

And with those worries pushed to the back of my thoughts, I threw myself into the cursed depths of physical fitness.

First came a few dozen laps around the training ground, followed by typical Staples like pushups, pullups, squats, back training and a long bit of planking.

After a bunch of stretching I then commenced practicing some basic punches and kicks. Nothing complex, as I didn't have access to any training manuals or academy teachers, but enough to get me used to correctly balling my fists, keeping my feet grounded and staying balanced.

_To think sports could be so liberating._

I absolutely hated it.

My muscles constantly screamed in protest for each and every swing of my arms. Yet I pushed on, coasting on the copious amounts of delicious hormones my brain kept spilling out.

Doing sports may have been awful, but it was simultaneously the greatest thing I did.

Witnessing Naruto train was also a huge motivator. No matter how much he did, which was honestly more than I, he never even seemed the slightest bit winded.

Meanwhile I almost passed out on the floor after finishing my regimen.

_Damm Kyuubi chakra. Such a damm hack I tell you!_

All my thoughts and actions came to a screeching halt as soons as that thought crossed my mind. Not because I passed out, but because I may have stumbled upon a huge realization.

_They're empowering their bodies with chakra for their Taijutsu._

How did I miss that!? I should've really paid more attention to Naruto's chakra flaring during physical exercise. I simply assumed it was due to Kurama's chakra healing his muscles microtears.

Of course that couldn't have been the case! I'd completely forgotten about Gai and Lee's ability to open their gates. If chakra didn't enhance one's body, why would overloading the chakra system have any impact whatsoever?

It also explained why people in this world didn't all look like Mr. Universe and yet could still manage quite incredible feats of strength.

To be fair, it could have just been a weird rule of this universe. The Anime's stylization simply getting translated into a "real world" look. Evidently this was not the case.

_Hindsight 20/20 and all that..._

This raised an interesting question: If one trained without any chakra augmentation and then augments the body afterwards, does one become stronger than the person who'd always used chakra enhancement?

Theoretically starting at a lower baseline could provide a benefit.

On the other hand the difference may be so negligible that having more practice in chakra enhancement far outdoes the slight increase in base strength.

_All comes down to whether chakra enhancement functions linearly or additively. _

Sadly testing it required to not only take strength measurements, but also needed them spaced far apart enough that my baseline strength actually increased by a noticeable degree.

I rubbed my face and let out a long sigh.

_Shouldn't be getting ahead of myself with all this theorizing. _

I still had to actually learn chakra enhancement, and confirm whether it truly existed.

_Okay how do I start this? If I lift something, the muscle fibers in my arms contract. How would I increase the force of the movement? The standard way would be increasing fibre amount or assisting their movement somehow._

Perhaps I could increase the muscle's tensile strength by coating it with chakra in some way? Shouldn't be impossible. I had been practicing chakra manipulation for a while now after all.

_Still haven't managed to manifest it outside my body. At least shifting it around has been reduced to a tolerable level of discomfort._

Therefore I spent the rest of the afternoon cooling off with a whole different kind of self torture.

* * *

It took a bit of patience, and a lot of pain tolerance, until I finally managed to reinforce my arm with chakra.

Not enhance but _reinforce. _I may not have been able to punch apart a tree, but at least the chakra-coating had nullified the pain I'd usually feel from full-force punching against a hard object.

_Now if only the chakra coating itself wasn't so uncomfortable. At least the pain is visibly - kinesthetically? - lessening the more I practice._

It was nearly sundown by the time I finally made my way home. Naruto never showed up, meaning he was probably out shopping when I knocked on his door in the morning.

_I should probably apologize for being so distant…_

Visiting him without taking a shower first would be impolite, however. So I entered my own apartment first.

***BOOM***

Only to have a rigged up pulley system pop a balloon seemingly filled with chalk over my head as soon as I entered, with Naruto bursting into laughter from his safe spot atop my bed.

"You should have seen your face when that happened!" he wheezed between breaths.

"The only reason I'm refraining from physical violence right now, is because I don't want to dirty my bed. But just to be clear: As soon as I get cleaned up I _will _have my revenge, and it will be _oh-so sweet._"

While Naruto attempted to stifle his giggles, I went ahead to the bathroom. With the powder stuck to my sweaty skin, the shower looked like the holy grail would to a questing King Arthur.

At least it _did_ until I turned on the water and got drenched in purple color. I'll be the first to admit the ear piercing shriek that followed had originated from my own throat. I was a young prepubescent boy after all and had nothing to be ashamed of.

**"You fucking dyed me purple!" **I shouted in English.

"I'm going to make your life a living hell you bastard" I shouted in Japanese.

"You're going to have to catch me first in that case" Naruto challenged in Japanese.

**"As soon as I do you're fucking dead," **I muttered in English.

I stormed out of the bathroom, covered in nothing more than some (ex) tighty-whities and purple paint, just in time to see Naruto leap out of my window.

Naturally I followed after him. My red hot rage would be more than enough to keep me warm.

"GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARD!" I yelled while sprinting through the streets. Anger, it turned out, was a perfect motivator to finally break through and grasp what I was missing for chakra enhancement.

It wasn't about focusing the chakra in one spot, but rather increasing the rate at which it flowed throughout the entire body. It may have felt like my body was filled to the brim by squirming fire ants, but the chakra simultaneously eased the soreness of my muscles and increased my energy levels back to the height they had been before my training had begun.

We were zipping through the streets, Naruto nimbly avoiding bystanders that thankfully dodged out of the way before I could plow through them with all my uncontrollable speed.

If a runner's high was a 10, then this was close to 1000 on the euphoria scale. Under the pretense of ignoring how angry I was, of course.

"Are you kids outta your damm mind!?" yelled some old man whose face I didn't deign to remember.

_At least we're keeping in line with canon _a small voice in the back of my head chimed.

This chase continued for a while before Naruto finally got caught in a side alley with no exits.

"This will be soo gratifying" I hissed maliciously.

"Heh, I guess you got me" Naruto replied in a smug tone.

_I'm gonna wipe that darn grin right off your face._

Before I got close enough to do it, Naruto suddenly sprang up ten feet and started dashing across the rooftops.

A skill that he had not displayed until this point. A skill which I, at the time unknowingly, replicated by shoving a burst of chakra straight out of my legs and haphazardly launching myself through the air.

It took me a while to get used to running across the rooftops, but once I did the chase was back on.

It was only by the time I collapsed of chakra exhaustion near the top of the Hokage monument that I realized Naruto had clearly been playing with me. With so little practice I shouldn't have been even slightly close to catching up.

To him this was nothing more than a good old, harmless game of catch.

To me it was fifteen minutes of extreme sports shortly after having spent the entire day doing other kinds of sports. I was completely doped up on chakra and running on fumes for the entire time.

At the end of it I felt like my insides were burnt to ash, while Naruto looked only slightly tired.

**"Damm you and your fucking limitless Chakra and Nine-Tails enhanced regeneration!" **I wheezed before blacking out.

* * *

I woke up in a hospital bed. Naruto was asleep in a chair next to me. My body was still sore all over and felt hollow as if I were about to implode.

_Great, first chakra is uncomfortable and now the lack of chakra even more so._

Under these circumstances falling asleep would normally prove quite difficult. Thankfully another side effect of chakra exhaustion was, as the name implied, exhaustion. I fell back asleep in about five minutes.

* * *

"Pssst"

Who dared interrupt my blissful sleep!?

"Satoya, Gramps is here to see you."

"What grandfather?" I mumbled without opening my eyes.

"My, I was told you would be awake by now," came an elderly voice.

I opened a single eye, directed it towards the entrance and shot up to attention as soon as I recognized the person standing there.

"Hokage-sama!"

"Yes yes, no need to be so formal. I understand you knocked yourself out playing catch?" he chuckled. "That's not something one comes across every day."

"Who told you that?" I inquired.

"Why Naruto, of course. Who else would barge into my office so late at night carrying their unconscious friend."

I raised my eyebrows at that.

"He was very worried about you" Hiruzen intoned.

I looked over at Naruto who still bore a heavy expression.

"I'm fine," I clarified. "Though I wish someone had at least cleaned the purple off of me."

"According to eye-witness reports you didn't seem too bothered," the Hokage chuckled. "What surprised me most was to hear you were running around in nothing but your underwear."

I went very red at that, noting that truly turning a different shade definitely had to do with 'Anime logic'.

"I always took you for the more coolheaded of the two. Perhaps I should reevaluate," Hiruzen teased.

_This is bullying! I'm getting bullied by someone fifteen times my age!_

"Now, let us get to why I am here. From what I've heard, the two of you may turn out to become effective shinobi in the future. You will, of course, be evaluated before getting allowed entry," he explained. "The academy costs would normally make enrolling an impossibility to orphans such as you. However, after you display today I would possibly be willing to sponsor you two."

_Huh, I totally forgot about Academy costs. Good thing it solved itself._

"As that is over with, I believe you should get going, Naruto. There is still something I need to discuss with young Satoya here."

Naruto gave me a questioning look, that I responded to with a nod. He gave a shrug, and wordlessly left the room. He'll certainly press me for details later.

"The doctors made some very interesting discoveries during their checkup," he started. "Would you happen to know what those may be?"

"I have no idea," I honestly answered. Not that I couldn't guess some things, but I didn't truly _know_ what was wrong.

"You've been diagnosed with Chakra hypersensitivity. A condition that usually rends one unable to effectively utilize their chakra," he explained, his voice severe.

"You don't happen to feel any discomfort when from chakra exposure, do you? All indicators point towards your blackout being due to exhaustion and not pain."

"The pain is uncomfortable, but not intolerable", I responded.

It wasn't technically a lie. It may have been to painful to practice manifesting chakra until this point, but it would certainly be far easier after having overstimulated my senses during my rage fueled game of catch.

"I see… I'd like to do a small test, if you don't mind," the Hokage intoned.

_As if I can refuse._

"Go ahead, Gramps," I replied, eliciting a slight reaction.

_Good, hopefully it reminds him how young I still am and how much room to grow I have. _

"Now remember, I am not going to physically harm you. It may, however, still pain you greatly," he warned.

I braced myself, my senses easily picking up on the fluctuation of the Hokage's chakra system.

Killing intent

Hiruzen's chakra surged out, vibrating with violent energy as it crashed against me like an avalanche. Thin enough to be imperceptible by the naked eye, but sharp and focused like a million lasers hitting every inch of my body.

A pressure far surpassing Naruto's clumsy chakra flaring. Far surpassing anything I had ever felt until this point. It reminded me of getting crushed beneath a pile of rubble.

I didn't dare shift an inch, didn't dare move a single muscle, took only shallow breaths. As if doing any of that could cause everything to collapse atop me.

_Come one you wuss, this is nothing like the real thing. Pull yourself together!_

This was all an illusion. The Building was perfectly safe, the Hokage would never hurt me. Even if I _did _want to hurt me his chakra couldn't do a thing but intimidate.

It was easy to rationalize, but far harder to internalize. My logic wrestled for control as my instincts locked me in place.

_I've felt far worse, and if I can't get past this then I'll be weak and helpless for the rest of my life! _

I couldn't allow that to happen. So I wouldn't.

No matter how impossible it felt, no matter how much my instincts screamed to get away, no matter how painful it was, I would not falter to something as simple as this!

With pure force of will I crossed my arms in front of my chest, leaned forward, and plastered a smirk on my face

"Is that all you got o-old man?"

_Dammit I stammered!_

Thankfully the pressure subdued as his chakra dissipated.

"Color me impressed. A typical child would have probably wet the bed," Hiruzen chuckled.

Shortly after that the door burst open and an absolutely incensed salt and pepper bearded doctor stormed in.

"SARUTOBI-SAMA! How _dare_ you use killing intent on a four year old child!? He's supposed to be _resting_! Any personal examinations you would like to do can wait until _after_ he is released from our care," the doctor spat.

"Don't worry, the child is completely unharmed. It barely even phased him," the Third assured. "In fact I dare say he'll make a fine shinobi _despite_ his condition."

"Hrmphf. Not like I get any say," the doctor grumbled. "If the kid wants to get himself killed and satisfy his masochistic desires he can do as he wants."

"Being a Ninja is a highly respectable position," Hiruzen defended.

"Save your propaganda for the public. You aren't the one who has to put them back together day after day."

"Don't mind him. He's just a grouchy old man." the Hokage told me.

_Of course. You wouldn't want someone to scare your future child soldiers out of the position._

"Don't worry, my plans are already set in stone," I answered.

* * *

I remained in the hospital for another week until my levels had returned to normal. Turns out my chakra recovery was quite high, since they'd normally keep me for twice that time.

"I'd tell you to take it easy, but I know your type. I only ask you not to overdo it," doctor Kawasaki intoned.

"Okay," I replied nonchalant.

"I mean it, brat. If I see you here again in the near future I'll decline treating you!"

We both knew that wasn't true. He was a huge softie underneath that gruff exterior.

"Don't worry. Spending another week doing nothing after overdoing my training would be highly inefficient."

"Ugh damm training nuts," he grumbled, before signing my release papers.

_Ah the glorious taste of freedom._

Finally free of the smell of disinfectant that permeated the Hospital's halls.

The time had come for my glorious return.

**"Heeeeeeeere's Johnny!" **I yelled as I slammed open Naruto's front door, causing him to Yelp in alarm and tumble off the chair he had been standing on.

"Owww. Satoya you bastard I was _this_ close to catching the spider."

**"What goes around comes around, Bucko."**

"You know I can't understand your strange self invented language," he snarks.

"Ah it was nothing important. Merely the answer to all of life's mysteries," I joked. "Too bad you'll never hear it again."

Naruto glared at me for all of three seconds before flashing a smile.

"I'm so glad you got out of the hospital. Falling over like that really had me worried you know! And I… I'm sorry for the prank. I didn't realize it would make you so angry," he said with an apologetic look.

"I should be the one apologizing. Not just for making you worry, but for ignoring you the past couple of days."

Naruto was about to open his mouth but I stopped him: "No, I know you're about to say not to worry about it, but I'm serious. I did something awful and any anger you feel towards me would be totally justified. However, I want to explain why I've been ghosting you."

"I get it, living in our own all of the sudden is a big difference. You were probably just too stressed too hang out," Naruto solemnly remarked.

"That isn't it," I started. "Living alone I've been handling just fine. Really… well, I wanted to acclimatize you to being on your own."

"What does acclimatize mean?" he interrupted.

"I wanted you to get used to it. Because I don't want you to depend on me too much. Because I know you and I won't always be spending time together in the future. You're going to be a far greater ninja than I ever will. We probably won't end up in the same team post graduation."

"What do you mean? I'm sure you'll become an awesome shinobi! We'll be the dynamic duo, a force to be reckoned with," Naruto argued.

"Think about it, Naruto! What was a harmless game of catch to you, was enough to knock me out from exhaustion. There's a gap between us I'll never be able to breach."

_A gap called plot relevance. _

"You might even end up Hokage someday, while I'll be lucky to reach Jonin," I countered calmly.

"But I don't care about being Hokage! Why can't we stay friends?" he said with glistening eyes.

_He doesn't care about being Hokage? That's **really** freaking bad._

"Don't say that! It's not like we can't stay friends. I just meant that we can't spend every waking moment with each other," I desperately explained. "I'm sure you'll find new friends in the future who you'll feel just as strongly about! People who you'll want to protect with everything you have. Wouldn't you want to make Konoha a safe, happy place for them? Think about what the third Hokage did for for you, for _us_. Think about how many people you could help in his position."

Naruto pondered my words for a good minute before answering: "Being Hokage isn't good enough."

_Come on man, throw me a bone here!_

"I'm gonna become the best Hokage there ever was, believe it!"

_Thank goodness. The crisis has been averted and the plot is back on track._

"And you will be my trusted Secretary!" he added.

"Uhh sure, I can live with that."

"Then let's go train! Can't have my secretary be _weak_ now can I?"

"Ugh, you realize I _just_ got out of the hospital?" I moaned.

"That's okay, we'll practice sneaking then. I'll even show you this awesome Ramen place I found afterwards."

_Hmm. I always wondered what Icharaku tastes like._


	4. Friend A

**Chapter 4: Friend A**

It was almost time. The last weekend before our academy life had finally arrived.

The last few years were a monotonous haze. Eat, train, eat, read or draw, sleep.

Of course, there was more to it than that.

I made sure Naruto didn't have quite as unhealthy a lifestyle as he did canonically. Mostly thanks to pooling our funds and me going shopping for him. He got constantly ripped off by the shopkeepers who were convinced he was the reincarnation of the Kyuubi as per usual.

However, even with my otherworldly cuisine, I thankfully didn't eliminate his ramen addiction. Instead it was actually _me _who got infected by his love of the stuff.

Icharaku was simply the best fast food I had ever come across in either lifetime. 'Nuff said.

The Hokage's stipend was plenty generous, and me with my fifteen total years of self-care could easily afford the occasional self-indulgent expense with my savings.

They even had Manga in this world!

Training consisted of brutally exhausting myself without using any chakra for the first half and then forcing myself to keep going with the help of chakra enhancement for the second half.

I'd told Naruto to keep to his own tempo, partially as a challenge to myself but mostly so I wouldn't influence his development any more than I already had.

Funnily enough I was actually able to keep up with Naruto around a year in. Turns out increasing my physical endurance by such leaps and bounds _did_ make my chakra enhancement more effective. I wasn't punching apart boulders or anything, but it was definitely noticeable.

Since I didn't want to Naruto to push himself harder than he originally did, I began using training weights like Lee had in canon. They were quite awkward to get accustomed to, as I was still very small. Sadly, I couldn't afford anything special made.

My chakra hypersensitivity simultaneously increased and decreased. Enhancement was no longer painful and I could pinpoint Naruto from half a kilometre away without line of sight.

It wasn't a huge achievement with that aura of his. What I felt truly proud of was being able to tell apart the chakra signatures of the ANBU stationed around our house. I still have yet to actually _see_ them though. I suspect they don't put as much effort suppressing their auras as they do into not getting seen.

They mostly just protected Naruto against civilians after all.

I'd also managed some level of chakra manipulation and could expel it from my body. It wasn't exactly the greatest of skills, but I could use it as a reading light when we were out camping.

"Watcha thinking about?", the blond asked.

"This and that," I sighed. "How are you feeling about Monday?"

"It's gonna be great! Well finally get to learn some awesome jutsu and get to know all kinds of people our age," he answered excitedly.

I have a non-committal hum in response.

_Great, more brats I have to deal with._

"Their parents will have a really tough time keeping them away from our corrupting influence," I remarked.

We were already known for our pranks. I had no excuse for my behaviour except that it was a fun way to pass the time every now and then.

"Yeah, soon we'll have a whole army of helpers!"

That was highly unlikely.

"Heh, sure will," I lied. "Wanna go our typical route and eat some Ramen after?"

"Heck yeah!"

_Enthusiastic as always. _

"I hear the academy starts in two days. Are you two excited?" Teuchi asked.

"Of course!" Naruto exclaimed with glee.

"No talking with a full mouth," I reprimanded, disregarding my own full mouth.

"I take it as a compliment that you can't stop eating," Teuchi chuckled.

"Do you know who your teachers will be?" Ayame asked us.

"Not a clue. I like getting surprised," I truthfully answered.

It was an interesting question. The Manga never went into who taught Naruto besides Mizuki and Iruka.

"No you don't, you liar!" Naruto accused. "You left angry notes all over my fridge the last time I took one of your eggs."

"_That_ wasn't a surprise, it was theft! I was passing to make something with that egg," I snarked.

"Anyway, I enjoy surprises that don't negatively impact me in any way. Like that surprise Birthday party you guys threw me."

_I still can't believe Naruto broke into the Orphanage records office to figure out my birthday. __**I **__didn't even know my own birthday. _

"Well let's hope that your teachers turn out to be a _positive_ surprise," Teuchi said.

Sunday came and went, mostly spent sleeping in and lazing around reading and drawing manga. We both wanted the day off so we'd be in top condition in case there was an entrance evaluation.

Turns out we were worried for nothing.

"Alright everybody settle down," an unknown Teacher said to the class of future mini ninjas. "I'm sure you're all excited about learning amazing jutsu."

"Yeah!" Naruto and Kiba shouted in tandem.

"_However,_ you will be doing none of that here today. In fact, we won't be starting chakra techniques until next semester. Until then it will be lots of theory. Reading, writing, mathematics and hand signs, with a bit of taijutsu interspersed here and there."

_Oh boy, this'll be super boring then._

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Naruto yells in protest.

"Mr. Uzumaki," the teacher's face contorted into a hateful frown. "I realize it may seem _unnecessary_ to you, but even shinobi must start with the basics. A healthy mind is the precursor to a healthy body after all."

"I'm plenty healthy," Naruto said under his breath.

If the Teacher heard it he chose not to comment.

"Now let us begin with introductions. My name is Suzuki Makoto and I will be teaching you mathematics and, in the future, tactics. Why don't you all tell me a bit about yourselves."

His demeanor clearly showed he couldn't care less and would probably rather be teaching. Likely the introductions were simply standard procedure.

And so, each student took a turn introducing themselves with name, age and personal details.

Of course, the main cast were all present and seemed to be accurate representations of their canon counterparts.

Everyone except Sasuke that is. He was actually _cheerful_ and said something along the lines of "loving to train with his Nii-san" which terribly tugged at my heartstrings.

_Too bad I'm not going to change a thing about the massacre._

It may have been heartless, but it was the only logical choice. There was nothing a child like me could do to stop it anyway.

Besides the original cast, there were few people of note, all kinds of variations on "I found out I had the aptitude and figured being a Ninja was super cool" except for Akuma. The mad lad had the gall to say that being a Ninja was stupid and he was only here to prove his strength to his father.

"I'd much rather become a smith like my dad, but he keeps telling me I'm not _strong _enough. Here I can become strong and find future clients too!"

He got estranged looks from everyone except myself, as I was trying to suppress my laughter.

_I like this kid. Only six years old and already acting like a snarky teen._

Judging by first impressions, Akuma would be a good candidate for friendship. At least more interesting than the other, more childish side characters.

While Shikamaru would probably be the most interesting to hang out with, I could not afford to forge any close relationships with the main cast.

"Alas, becoming shinobi and protecting the village is noble in its own right and you should not discredit it," Suzuki said.

I had to repress a snort upon hearing that.

"Let us finally start our first lesson."

_Time to snooze_

A voice stirred me awake from my blissful sleep during the break: "Mind if I sit here?"

"Whatever floats your boat," I tell the black haired kid. "Why do you _want_ to sit here though?"

I wasn't exactly acting social after all.

"Seems like you're the least bothersome."

_There's only one person I know of who'd say that._

"Shikamaru, right?"

"Seems you have a good memory. I don't remember your name, however."

_Oh what the hell. Why do I attract important characters?_

_Shit, I should've paid more attention to the faces during introductions. To think Shikamaru started school with short hair._

"I'm Satoya Ibui. Pleasure to make your acquaintance," I said politely.

Even if I didn't want to befriend him, there was no need to antagonize him either.

"Less talking more sleeping. I heard our next class is history," he informed me.

"Ah, I actually need to pay attention in this one. Have fun sleeping."

Shikamaru squinted at me, likely pondering why I found history any more captivating than math, but of course he didn't know about my background.

Sadly our history teacher, Kyoko Takuma, only talked about things I'd already somewhat remembered from the Anime.

The founding of Konoha with the will of fire serving as the baseline of moral values. How Hashirama Senju captured the tailed beasts. How he distributed them among the other villages to try and ensure a balance of power and end the warring clans era once and for all.

She mentioned how Madara, dubbed "the betrayer" and Hashirama fought due to their opposing views of peace. Putting it in modern terms: Madara was a fascist who wanted to 'force' people into peace trough authority, while Hashirama was a Hippie who believed in collaboration and love.

We were nearing the end of the lesson at that point with the promise of getting into the politics and reasons for the first shinobi world war, when I asked an innocuous question that had nagged me ever since I read the Manga.

"How did the first Hokage die?"

Kyoko huffed and answered: "Hashirama Senju died a few years after his duel with Madara due to an unknown illness."

_Well that answers a whole lot of nothing. Not like he would've been taken down by a bunch of chumps like the second Hokage._

What could kill Hashirama though? Someone whose cells were basically the super-juice of the Naruto universe?

_As WebMD would so helpfully say: It's probably cancer._

The other classes were just as boring as one may expect from going back to school as a thirty-five year old. At least the afternoon was reserved for Taijutsu. My endorphin addicted mind was itching for a good workout.

"Your stance is horrible, again!"

_What do you expect from our first class you old curmudgeon!_

In his defense, the clan kids all had unbelievably well polished fighting styles. Even Ino and Shikamaru were flawlessly executing the academy style katas.

Meanwhile Naruto and I who had been fighting on mostly instinct for the last two years could barely hold a simple defensive stance.

We were doing even worse than the clanless kids with zero prior experience, simply because we'd ingrained all kinds of bad habits.

_At least school won't be a total, boring cakewalk. _

"Hold your arms firm!"

"Yes, sensei!"

Sparring would only start in about two weeks. Until then it was all making sure we knew how to defend ourselves without getting injured too badly. Plus a bit of throwing weapon's practice.

At least Naruto and I were quite proficient at that. We'd been hunting with kunai for a long while after all.

"Alright everybody, thirty laps around the court!"

Almost forgot to mention general fitness, which was obviously part of the curriculum. Considering I was an orphan with no special background, the teachers seemed somewhat surprised I could keep pace, unlike most of my fellow clanless students.

Not like the other kids weren't fit, but my muscle definition was quite unusual for a Ninja, especially for a six year old child.

_Heh, I've been training the hard way after all._

At least I had finally achieved a beach body. Only took dying and getting reincarnated in a world where my life literally depended on my fitness.

Following the thirty laps was an obstacle course where we were kept under fire by rubber balls thrown by the teacher, and following that was balancing practice on a kind of rickety bridge that got wobbled lightly back and forth.

I wasn't awful at those, but still far worse than any of the main cast. Turns out self-teaching really couldn't compare to dedicated tutors, no matter how much effort one put in.

_At least I'll be kept busy during my academy days. It definitely beats being bored out of my mind. _

It also had the added benefit of not needing to pretend I was any worse than I was so I wouldn't become rookie of the year. Small and non-edgy as he was, Sasuke was still leagues above me.

If filler-memory serves correct he even taught himself to use the Great Fireball technique at this age. If only I had been born into a clan… or at least with an overpowered doujutsu like the Sharingan.

***Thump***

_Ow_

"Keep focused Ibui-kun!"

"Yes, Takanori sensei."

_Damm you and your strict drilling methods. It's like we're in the army or something… oh wait._

School ended at about three o'clock. I promised Naruto I'd make some enchiladas tonight, which still gave me a few hours to spare. Since Naruto himself had hit it off with Kiba I decided to let him be and forge some connections of my own.

"Hey, Akuma!"

"Yeah?" the brown haired kid started. "What do you want?"

"Just wanted to ask if I could visit your dad's forge. Smithing always sounded cool to me." I replied.

It wasn't even a lie. Smithing had been one of my academic interests even in my last life. And if I made some connections early on perhaps I could get myself some basic projectile weapons forged in the future. Fire ninjutsu could probably replace blackpowder.

_It'd also be great to get some custom fitted training weights. _

"Hm. Dad said networking was an important part of the job, so I guess I shouldn't say no. Just… please don't be a bother."

_Mission successful._

Akuma lead me around Konoha for half an hour or so before we arrived at his father's workshop, glancing back at me nervously every now and again. It may have been my imagination, but I was quite certain he had purposefully taken us along the scenic route. As if he wanted to make absolutely sure I wouldn't know his path to school.

Quite an antisocial kid. Perhaps this wasn't the best idea after all.

It definitely didn't surprise me that Akuma would fail his Jonin sensei's test. It was all about _team_ work after all.

"I'm home! I brought along a classmate."

"A classmate you say? Has my precious Akuma-chan finally made her first friend!?"

_Akuma-__**chan**__… __**her!? **__He's a she!? _

I felt truly foolish now. What did the teachers call him, err, her though?

"It's just a _classmate_ dad. He wanted to come see the forge."

"_He _you say?" I heard coming from the back before a bald, burly, gloriously bearded man came into view.

_He's just a straight up dwarf! Though perhaps a bit too big for that…_

He was about twice my height! And I wasn't exactly short for my age either. So I couldn't help but feel intimidated when he leaned down for a close inspection.

"Could be an Uchiha with that dark hair of yours. Hmm the blue eyes don't fit though."

"Ibui Satoya is the name, sir. I am not part of any clan and know of no living relatives."

"Hrmphf, and what do you want with my daughter?" he glared at me.

_Oh god he's an overprotective parent. _

"With all due respect sir, I am six years old. You do not need to worry about your daughter," I clarify.

"Ah-ha. And if you are so young and innocent, why would you know what I am worried about?"

_Damm he's got me there. Curse my life experience!_

"I'd have to be a fool not to notice that men and women tend to end up in a relationship. It doesn't take a leap of logic to conclude you may be worried about my influence on your child."

He raised an eyebrow: "And am I supposed to believe you really only came here to me work the forge? Someone like you who knows nothing about smithing and aspires to become a shinobi?"

Seems like paranoia runs in the family.

_Calm, logical. Keep that in mind._

"While it is true that I had a positive first impression of your daughter and would possibly like to befriend her in the future, I would like to add I truly am interested in learning about the art of forging," I explained. "Not to mention I hadn't realized Akuma was a girl until now."

She was a total tomboy.

"Alright… I _did_ tell my cute little daughter to establish connections and you seem like a smart enough lad. However, if you want to be more than a customer, you better pay attention and work hard! I won't teach someone lacking motivation and grit!"

_Wait wait wait. Teach? Who said anything about teach? Did I just accidentally sign up to become an apprentice or something? Should I decline? I don't know what'll happen if I do… and It seems interesting enough._

_Screw it. Why not learn smithing? It's probably better my futuristic designs don't spread to the world at large anyway._

"Alright, I will do my very best!"

Akuma, who had been standing in the back with her head in her hands the entire time, groaned. A spark lit up in her eyes as she took a deep breath.

"So you'll teach the first person I bring here, while it took me a whole year to convince you to teach me?" she shouted.

"Well, he's a fit young lad. And seems generally interested," Akuma's father defended meekly. "Plus if I'm already taking time to teach you it's not like an extra spectator would hurt."

"Oh I'm _sure _you would've taught a girl if I had brought her here," she said accusingly. "I'm sick of you looking for male apprentices. I'll prove I have what it takes and I'll even become a kick-ass kunoichi to boot."

_Uh oh, did I just inadvertently create a new protagonist? _

"And _you!" _she pointed an accusing finger. "You'll never be as good as me, I swear it upon my mother's grave!"

_Great. Dead mother, wants to prove themselves and now even has a rival. I go out of my way not to interact with important characters and seemingly just create them out of thin air._

Fate truly was a harsh mistress.

"Maaan today was so boring. I thought we'd get to learn some awesome new techniques and instead we were stuck in some stuffy room all day!" Naruto whined at the dinner table.

"It wasn't the _whole_ day," I corrected. "Just half of it."

"That's right! I visited the Inuzuka clan compound in the afternoon! It was great. I got to play with a few puppies and Kiba even showed me Akamaru. They were so cute and fluffy."

"Sounds nice," I commented.

_Aren't Kiba and him getting a bit too close to one another? I guess rushing the friendship timeline along shouldn't be a__huge deal._

"What about you, Satoya? I bet you lazed around reading or drawing all day."

"Actually I visited a metalsmith and got to work at the forge a bit," I said nonchalantly.

"Sounds cool! Did you go with Tatara-chan? Did you make some awesome weapons?"

_How the heck did Naruto realize she was a girl and I didn't? Am I just an oblivious idiot?_

"Yeah I went to her dad's forge. But we didn't make any weapons yet. Actually I barely managed to shape the metal at all."

I took out the unevenly flattened piece of iron I was allowed being home with me.

"BWAHAHAHA, It looks like a turd!"

"It does not!" I defended.

How dare he say such an outrageous thing. It was my first attempt! At least I did something more productive than play with puppies today.

"If you don't let up your bullying, no Strudel this week!" I threatened.

Naruto immediately places his head on the table: "My sincerest apologies Chef."

"Apology accepted. What did you think of our other classmates?" I inquired.

"Shino is like a quieter you. Shikamaru is a lazier you. Choji is awesome and friendly and has a lot of delicious snacks. Kiba is hot headed but super friendly. I didn't talk much with other classmates today, though there's this girl with really pretty pink hair."

_He's developing his relationships really early. Have I accidentally jump started his talk no jutsu capabilities? Maybe I should pay more attention to him in class instead of snoozing most of the time._

I hid my internal strife with an easy-going smile: "Sounds like you've already met some great future comrades. How about the teachers?"

"I feel like none of them like me very much. Heikichi-sensei especially kept singling me out for every mistake I made in practice. It's not like I was worse than average."

_Ah yes, the hate for the demon fox runs deep even among ninja circles. _

It was too bad Iruka Sensei hadn't shown up yet. Though probably due to him being mainly a Ninjutsu teacher.

"Keep your head held high. I'm sure it will get better soon," I firmly stated. "And if it doesn't, then you just need to work hard to prove them wrong!*

"Yeah, who cares about some stupid teachers? I'm gonna be the greatest Hokage there ever was and nobody's gonna stop me!"

At least that part of the plot was definitely still on the right path.

I held up my glass: "To the future, whatever it may bring."


	5. Deathly Dispute

**Chapter 5: Deathly Dispute**

Naruto and Akuma got along quite well after I inadvertently introduced them to one another, but besides the newfound friend I'd describe the month following the start of the Academy as blandly uneventful.

Sure it was more interesting than the years before. I had smithing, chakra training and instructed taijutsu to keep me busy, but in the end it was still school, which meant 90% of it all was utterly useless to me.

I would have skipped school entirely if I weren't attempting to maintain cover as a, perhaps somewhat above averagely intelligent, student.

Also I will admit I enjoyed hanging out with the kids at least. There was something so liberating about being allowed, even expected, to act childishly. I got away with giving the teachers shit that I never dared to in my first childhood. Not to mention it would have likely gotten me fired from my job if I did it as an adult.

_I can't believe Naruto and I got away with filling Okamura-sensei's pen with invisible ink. He had to re-correct the entire exam!_

I felt bad about it at first, but once I saw how unfairly he graded Naruto's test my conscience swiftly disappeared. While our teachers all disliked the kid to some extent, this was the first blatant display of prejudice I had come across.

At least Suzuki-sensei seemed to treat everybody equally harshly.

_Speaking of the devil._

He entered the room right as I thought of him.

"Alright class, I'm happy to introduce a new student today," Suzuki sensei said in a mirthless tone. He really hated doing anything not related to math.

The door opened and a young man dressed in fine, silken clothing entered. He took a single glance at us and, with and upturned nose, declared: "My name is Ogura Yuu. You all may address me as Ogura-sama, or preferably refrain from addressing me altogether."

He then made a point to seat himself as far away from anyone as was possible. Turns out said seat was, in fact, the teacher's was an outstanding, and quite frankly impressive, display of haughtiness.

I suppressed my urge to shiver as the rooms temperature seemingly dropped a few degrees thanks to the hostile chakra emanating from everybody.

_If I hang out with this guy maybe I can finally rid myself of Shikamaru._

Because even after befriending Akuma, who at times could be just as loud as Naruto, Shika still chose to spend math class next to me.

_Gosh, I'm even nicknaming him in my head._

"Ogura-_kun_," the troll Suzuki intoned, causing Yuu's eye to twitch. "I must inform you that you are sitting at the teacher's desk. As regretful you may find it, please take a seat among your peers."

Yuu scoffed.

"_**Now!**_" Sensei commanded.

I wasn't sure who was angrier about the order: Yuu, or the rest of the class.

_Well, the rest of the class except me that is._

As much as he visibly detested to, Yuu reluctantly walked up to our seats. I scooched slightly to the left, freeing up a spot between myself and Shikamaru. Yuu gave me a look of apprehension, while Shika's was a mix of disbelief and horror.

_Sorry bud._

While it was nice to have someone of a far higher mental capacity than a typical six year old to talk to, sacrifices had to be made for the greater good of the universe.

_People in this universe seem surprisingly mature in general. _I give Yuu a once over._ Well, there are always outliers._

"Pah, as if I'd sit next to a scruffy commoner like you."

_Scruffy? That cannot stand._

"I'll have you know this _scruffy commoner_ is only trying to be polite and get back to class as quickly as possible," I retorted. "Any petty squabbles you wish to incite are of far less importance than the wondrous world of math."

He was about to open his mouth in protest, before getting shut down by our teacher.

"_**Take a seat!**_" Suzuki shouted, the vein on his forehead throbbing dangerously.

At least Yuu recognized a losing battle when he saw one and finally sat down.

"And _you_, Satoya," Sensei narrowed his eyes at me. "Don't believe for a second that I bought any of your false conviction. It is not difficult to notice when you sleep in my class."

_Hey, it isn't like I don't enjoy math! I just already learned all this stuff before. Then again, we might be learning something other than what I did in school..._

Just to make sure, and to prove I could, I decided to pay attention for once.

It was just as boring as expected, but at least I got to feel like an absolute Genius compared to my peers whenever I raised my hand.

Interestingly, Suzuki-seinsei's mood only seemed to worsen each time I answered something correctly. He probably assumed I was trying to spite him due to his proclamation.

Which I totally was.

Halfway through the lesson he stopped paying attention to my raised hands and simply waited to pick somebody else.

"Are you trying to impress me?" I heard whispered beside me.

I was completely taken aback by that statement. "Of course not. What do I have to prove to you?"

"Clearly you wish to show we stand on equal footing. Perhaps to gain my adoration." Yuu reasoned. It took my all to keep a straight face.

"Of course, oh great Ogara-_sama_. I would do _anything_ to appease you. Only so you would deign to grace myself with thy Divine presence," I replied, voice kept low.

I made sure to layer it with so much of a sarcastic undertone there was no way he'd believe I was being sincere.

Shikamaru snorted beside me, but his eyes remained closed.

"W-well what else could it be!?" Yuu sputtered.

"Maybe I'm just trying to impress Suzuki-sensei with my amazing mathematical prowess," I said loud enough for our teacher to definitely pick up.

Suzuki glared at me with a raised eyebrow, to which I winked in response.

"That's it, you three _**out!**_" he ordered.

"Three? Who's the third?" I asked.

"You can drag Shikamaru with you. Not like the kid cares about class."

_He wasn't interrupting it either. I guess he's just being petty._

The three of us left the room without another word.

* * *

We decided, well, _I _decided to walk to the training grounds and the other two followed behind me.

Shikamaru seemed unconcerned about the situation. Yuu on the other hand was furious, I could tell by the way his chakra stirred and bubbled.

_Kid's got potential if only he weren't so self-absorbed._

"Mmm. I should thank you two. This weather is perfect for a bit of cloud watching." Shikamaru said, shortly followed by unceremoniously plopping himself down on the grass.

"Is this some sort of joke to you!?" Yuu accused with a snarl. "My father won't be _pleased_ with this development."

Shikamaru stiffened at that remark. Undoubtedly thinking of his own mother.

"Troublesome." he muttered under his breath.

"Well think about it this way: We weren't paying attention to class anyway. So, this is a win-win for both teacher and student. If we don't fail the exams that is, which I doubt Shikamaru or I will have any trouble with." I reasoned.

"But what about _**me!?**_" he whined.

"**Guess you can just go screw yourself."** I said with a dazzlingly bright smile.

He looked nonplussed at that.

_Gosh using English to mess with people is great._

"It's… an idiom. I simply figured you probably had some private tutors or something. Someone of your caliber _couldn't possibly_ be a novice at math, could they?"

"Of course not! I simply don't wish to get dragged into trouble thanks to you!" he snarled.

_Okay, enough is enough. Time for a lecture._

"Listen up, and listen well! I, in no way, wished to drag you into trouble. That was your own doing. I have no clue what your home life is like or what caused your arrogance, but that doesn't matter for now. All you need to know is _**I **_did not get us into trouble, I tried to be polite at first. If anything it's your attitude. _You_ got us-"

"Hold up!" Shika interrupted. "It was quite clearly, _you_ who got us kicked out of the classroom, Satoya."

_Excuse me?_

"Et tu, brute?" I remarked, giving Shikamaru a betrayed stare.

"I agree Ogara-san's attitude is troublesome and needs to change if he wants to get along with _anybody. _However, I must mention you were clearly trying to annoy Suzuki-sensei with your overeager hand waving."

I pressed my lips into a thin line: "I was jus-"

"Please let me finish, Ibui-kun."

_Why do I feel like our ages are switched right now?_

"I also saw you very blatantly giving an over exaggerated wink to our teacher shortly before we got kicked out."

_No way he saw it. Did he infer it somehow? Shit, he knows me too well and my expression is totally confirming his suspicions._

"Alright… you got me." I raised my hands in defeat. "In my defense I wouldn't have gotten into the conversation if Yuu didn't make such an outrageous comment."

"Don't say my name like that!" he yelped.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Ogura-_sama_." I taunted.

Shikamaru interrupted us by letting out a long sigh, getting up from his spot in the grass, rolling his eyes and walking away to lie down about twenty meters from us.

Yuu and I balked at him leaving.

_Gosh, what is even happening to me? It's like I'm actually six years old. Am I mentally regressing?_

I looked at Yuu, who was recovering from his momentary stupor and about to get straight back to our verbal dispute.

"I truly am sorry." I said sincerely. "I'm at fault for getting us kicked out and shouldn't have blamed you. I shouldn't have been acting so high and mighty."

I held out my fingers.

"What are you doing?" he warily asked.

"Oh, uh, this is called the sign of reconciliation. It's meant to help us make up after a fight…"

He mulled it over, his expression gradually softening. "How do I do it?"

After making up, we decided to join Shika cloud watching for the rest of our free time.

* * *

It was in our following lesson when I made an important realization.

_Wait a second… wasn't I supposed to be using Yuu to get rid of Shikamaru?_

And instead I had gotten us to silently sit next to one another, a hint of friendship developing between us.

_How am I so god damm awful at making enemies? Oh no… I must have been infected with Naruto's talk no jutsu!_

I was doomed. This world was doomed. I should've just offed myself as soon as I realized where I was.

_Nono, Naruto would have likely ended up very depressed if his only friend disappeared like that._

Perhaps I should have just left the country? Lived somewhere in the outskirts of civilization. Untouched by the war that was to come? Whatever the case may be it was too late. The future was already uncertain.

_Doesn't mean I shouldn't still keep my influence to a minimum. As long as I don't end up in any of the teams it should hopefully still turn out alright. _

I was pulled from my thoughts by an elbow to the shoulder.

"Ow, what the heck Yuu?"

"Ibui-kun. Would you please recite the last phrase back to me?" Akiyama-sensei asked with a venomous smile.

"Uhh…"

She huffed. "Please focus on the task at hand, ibui-kun."

_I should be careful. At this rate I might end up in team seven._

"Who's this?" Yuu asked in Taijutsu class.

Akuma glared. "I'm his sparring partner." she responded.

"I guess gruff people do enjoy each other's company" he mused aloud.

"Hey! _I'm _not gruff." I answered.

Recognizing the implied insult, Akuma gave me the stink eye.

"I'll show you gruff." she grumbled. "I bet you can't even through kunai with those twig arms of yours."

Yuu scoffed. "Challenge accepted!"

Great now those two were sparring, but what about me? I looked around the field for a familiar blond.

"Hey Naru-"

_Oh he's sparring with Kiba._

I turned around and instead walked over to a familiar raven-haired kid.

"Shika-"

_Nope, already partnered with Choji…Shit, who the hell can I spar against?_

"Hey, you still looking for a partner?"

Of course it had to be Sasuke. Fate wouldn't want it any other way.

"Yeah, I guess." I responded, not having much of a choice. "Please go easy on me."

He accepted my request with a nod.

_I like this non-edgy hypercompetitive Sasuke._

We both took up a fighting stance and cold sweat dripped down my back. As soon as Heikichi-sensei gave the go ahead, our muscles tensed.

Neither of us moved at first, both uncertain of our respective fighting styles. The air was heavy and I was about to engage simply to reduce the pressure when I felt Sasuke's chakra stir.

I barely blocked the kick aimed towards my legs with a grunt of effort. Sasuke displayed impressively fine-tuned empowerment and precise movements. He didn't let up after my block either, keeping me on my toes with a series of swift strikes. I did my best to defend but it became increasingly clear I couldn't keep going like this.

A theory proven right when he chose to drag my defending arm forward and ram his elbow into my stomach. I fell to the floor curled up into a ball.

_I'm pathetic._

Even without his Sharingan Sasuke was leagues ahead if anyone I'd previously fought. Leagues ahead of me.

_I can't afford to take it easy._

The chakra I'd been keeping at a low churn increased in pressure giving me a slightly uncomfortable tingling sensation. It was time to kick it up a notch.

This time I went on the offensive, surprising him with my increased speed and power. Yet it still wasn't enough. Every mistake I made was rewarded with pain. Mostly to my extremities, thankfully, but nonetheless unpleasant.

The fight seemed to last for ages before Sasuke made a glaring mistake. He had underestimated my balance and reeled back his fist for a devastating finisher. This left him wide open for a quick counterattack which I delivered in the form of a punch to the side of his torso.

Only for said punch to get completely ignored and his fist to sail straight at my face.

In panic I reinforced my skin with chakra to the point of feeling like an overripe tomato ready to burst at a single touch.

Thankfully my head did not explode when his fist impacted. In fact, even though the force was enough to knock me to the ground my head felt fine.

I chose to remain on the floor, calming my breath when I heard a surprising declaration.

"I lost." Sasuke said.

My body was aching all over and I was sprawled out in the dirt. "Why do you say that? I'm clearly defeated." I asked, looking up at him.

His face was twisted into a grimace as he was cradling his hand.

_Oh_

"Uhh, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

He winced, but was able to move his fingers. "I don't think it's broken at least." he answered. "Felt like punching against stone. What did you do?"

"Chakra reinforcement? I don't know, it sorta happened on instinct."

He pondered for a second. "I can probably just ask my brother. He knows about all kinds of stuff."

_Ugh, my heart can't handle this. Quick change the topic!_

"So how'd you ignore my punch? The one I threw as you wound up."

"It wasn't that hard."

"Yeah but _how_ did you?" I asked again.

"I mean the punch itself wasn't hard. Not strong enough to stop my movement." he clarified.

That couldn't be right, could it? I wasn't that weak. I'd even been using chakra enhancement at full blast!

"Actually, I felt like all your moves were… weak."

_Great now I'm depressed for totally different reasons. _

Having noted my downcast expression he corrected himself: "Not like you were lacking in strength! More like you weren't fully committed? Like you weren't aggressive enough you know?"

"Quite right, Uchiha-kun." Takanori said, having seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

"Young Satoya here has been consistently pulling his punches since the first lesson."

_I have?_

"You have." Takanori said, reading my expression. "It not only does you a disservice regarding your attacking prowess, but also your defense. You're too unsure of yourself."

_I shrunk down._

"Or at least, unwilling to do harm. Unwilling to _act_. A good defense needs more than toughening out blows and covering vital areas with hardier body parts. You must deflect blows, exert counter force and threaten painful retaliation. Your current strategy does absolutely nothing to dissuade your opponent from pressing the attack."

I opened my mouth, closed it again, and mulled over his words. Was I too soft? Perhaps I was… Naruto and I may have trained, but he had an insane healing factor. Plus, we never went at it very seriously. It was more like roughhousing than sparring.

"Listen, Satoya-kun. I understand you're an orphan and we're never taught about the concept of necessary force." Takanori sighed. "The world isn't perfect. Sometimes violence is the only answer. To survive as a shinobi, you must be willing to hurt, even kill a fellow human being. If you cannot bring yourself to commit such acts, it is better if you give up becoming a ninja."

_He makes a valid point. I'm probably going to have to kill people in the future. Something which I, coming from a relatively peaceful planet, find unsettling to even imagine. _

_However, even if I'm not some impressionable kid who easily succumbs to village propaganda, I'm egoistic enough to value my life above others. And it is a simple fact that the less practice I have the less likely it is for me to survive what is to come._

"I understand, sensei." I said with conviction. "I will do my best not to hold myself back."

"Alright, then hit me!" he commands.

"Huh? Just like that?"

"Yes, hit me with your full strength. Hold back and I will lower your grade. If I find your attack adequate I will not."

_I get to hit my teacher? My actual six-year-old self would be cackling in delight right now…_

"But sensei, you haven't done anything to anger me."

"That does not matter! Think of it as a spar, I must accurately measure your strength and you will not improve your skills if you constantly hold back. Now hit me!" he reiterates sternly.

"And I won't get into trouble? Not even using full force?"

"No, I will personally vouch for you even if you severely injure me."

_Come on, Jo- Satoya… You need to get over this! It's my second life non the line. _

"Any preference on where I should hit? I wouldn't want to hurt you too badly."

"Doesn't matter, just hit me." he said completely deadpan.

"Yeah but you're old and my teacher and haven't done anything to deserve it." I reasoned, noting how his expression hardened at my words.

I suddenly felt a wave spike of violent chakra erupting out of my teacher before he unsheathed a kunai slashed it towards me.

"**What the fuck!?"** I yelped as I dashed backwards only to trip over a lump of dirt that I swear hadn't been there before. The kunai he had been holding sailed over my head as I fell on my ass.

"Sensei, what are you doing!?" I gasped shortly before covering my face with my arms as his hand rocketed straight at me.

Instead of hitting me like I expected, he wrenched me straight off the ground with a single arm. I would have been impressed if I weren't panicking.

I dangled uselessly above the ground and stared in horror as he grabbed another kunai from his pouch.

My heart hammered in my chest. This wasn't like the Hokage's killing intent two years ago. Not forceful and directed like pressure but erratic and wild like a storm. It may not have been equally painful, but it was far _far_ scarier.

_Was the Hokage going easy on me?_

"Konoha doesn't need weaklings like _you_." Takanori snarled.

I froze up in terror and the world seemed to shrink away from me. It was as if time moved in slow motion.

_He's really going to do it. _

_Is this how it ends? I die before the show even started? How pathetic am I, losing to a chuunin instructor likely near retirement. And here I thought I might accidentally change canon… heck as if I had the strength to influence things._

_I'll just end up dead without any grand accomplishments. Just like last time..._

I barely registered someone yelling my name as I closed my eyes in acceptance.

_I just hope this won't traumatize Naruto and screw over the world..._

My final thoughts were just as stupid as last time.

Scratch that, these weren't going to be my final thoughts at all! Instead of getting stabbed I lurched sideways as Takanori was knocked over by a shapeless blur.

"Satoya are you okay!?" Naruto shouted at shortly after his tackle. In the back Sasuke and Heikichi-sensei restrained our unstable instructor.

"Get off me Heikichi!" Takanori demanded. "I wasn't going to harm him! As if I'd miss with my Kunai!"

_Huh, so the hill really wasn't there before._

"Then what the hell _were_ you going to do?"

"I was testing him! You and I both know that someone like him won't make it. His pacifistic nature will get him killed! Better he quit now, before he ends up like…" tears started welling in his eyes. "I just can't allow something like that to happen again."

"Takanori-san." Heikichi calmly spoke. "It has been many years since then. I know it hit you hard."

"Pah, you know nothing of loss!" he spat back.

"I believe it may be best if we spoke about this in private a bit later. For now why don't you calm-"

"LOOK AT HIM!" he yelled while pointing a finger at me. "He believed his life was under threat, and didn't even raise a finger to stop it! He's so strongly against violence that he wouldn't even harm someone who threatens to kill him! A shinobi _can't _go through life without the will to use lethal force. I'm _saving_ him from an early grave!"

"THAT IS UTTER BULLSHIT!" I bellowed. "What an absolute idiot must you be to make a six-year-old _child _believe he was about to get murdered! Of course I couldn't move I was absolutely terrified. You practically radiated malice and are surprised I was too shocked to think!? You fucking imbecile!"

Meanwhile the entire class was staring wide-eyed at the spectacle. I didn't care.

"I did it to _protect_ you! Better you learn to deal with it now than in the future when someone is truly trying to kill you!" he barked.

"Have you no clue how traumatizing this was!?" I shouted back.

Before he could open his mouth I focused chakra into my skin and, cycling at full power for a boost in power, uppercut him straight in the chin.

He fell to the ground and didn't get back up.

_Knocked out._

"How's that for a punch _sensei._" I hissed.

"Okay, uh, class dismissed." Heikichi announced clapping his hand. He then casually picked up his unconscious colleague. "Satoya and Sasuke, please escort me to the Hokage's office."

* * *

Takanori woke up soon after when the Hokage uses a minor healing jutsu on him.

"Mind telling me what happened from your point of view?" Hiruzen asked.

Takanori pondered for a bit: "I goaded one of my students into delivering a knock-out punch straight to my chin."

He rubbed at his bruise. "Guess he proved my assumptions wrong."

Hiruzen frowned, looking back at Sasuke and me who Takanori only now noticed were present.

"I believe… it's for the best if you enjoyed an early retirement, Toma-san" the Hokage announced. "You have served the village well in the past and deserve your well-earned rest."

Takanori clenched his fists for a short moment before letting out a defeated sigh. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"Good. I expect your application later today and will approve it post-haste. Dismissed!"

Takanori wordlessly left the room.

"Hrm. Now what am I going to do about you?" he directed at me. "Perhaps I had been hasty in assuming you were capable of standing up to adversity. Nobody knows of your _special circumstances_ but me and a select few doctors. Perhaps it is best for you to be kept away from the battlefield after all?"

Sasuke spoke up: "Hokage-sama, may I add something?"

Hiruzen nodded.

"I, well maybe not _me_ but most kids in his position would have reacted the same. Gosh I saw Ino freeze up when a dog barked at her and she's a clan heir!"

"Hmm. Of course, I will not force you to quit, Satoya-kun. However, I understand if you wish to do so."

_Are you kidding? I never want to feel so helpless again! And with the world as dangerous as it is there no way I can afford to slack off._

"I respectfully decline, Hokage-sama. I have enjoyed my academy curriculum so far and will gladly continue my attendance."

_Now that the crazy old geezer has been fired at least._

"Oho, I bet you have." Hiruzen chuckled. "Suzuki-san gave my secretary quite the earful earlier today about my terrible choice of sponsorship."

I turned as red as a tomato upon hearing that.

_Curse you anime logic! Stop so blatantly displaying my feelings!_

"Alright you two, dismissed."

And so we left.

"You know, my brother is a great teacher. I bet he could help you out." Sasuke offered.

_God no. No way I could keep my wits together knowing what Itachi does in the near future._

"Uhm… I already have stuff planned today, maybe some other time?"

Preferably never. Couldn't risk showing up at the _most_ inopportune moment.


	6. Who needs Enemies?

**Author's note: **Heya, just wanted to say I'm sorry for the delayed update. This chap's been sitting around on my PC for a while now and I just haven't gotten around to uploading it.

Also, I preemptively apologize for the Slice of Life-ness, but what can I say, I'm a sucker for character interaction.

The story _will_ get going soon enough though, I expect graduation to happen in around two chapters probably.

Let's be honest I suck at keeping such promises. I'll try though!

* * *

**Chapter 6: Who needs Enemies?**

I swung by Akuma's shop after my discussion and was quite surprised by what I found.

"I must humbly agree your collection is quite noteworthy. My father would do well to establish contact with yours."

"Heh, told ya we weren't just some _common drabble_ as you put it."

"I already said I was sorry!"

"Yeah, after I made you eat dirt over and over." she guffawed.

Yuu _did_ have an impressive assortment of bruises covering his skin.

"Hey guys." I casually interrupted.

"Satoya! You're okay!" Akuma said after turning to me.

I was aghast to see a she had a black eye.

"What the heck happened to you?" I blabbed.

"Oh this? Yuu wasn't quite as much of a pansy as I thought. Though I'm still the undisputed winner of our duel." she brashly announced.

I turned to Yuu, who sported a swollen cheek from their spar, awaiting his rebuttal.

"I may have… underestimated her." he admitted.

"But that isn't important." Akuma exclaimed. "We totally saw you and sensei shout at each other before you punched him straight in the jaw."

She started cackling hysterically.

"I was quite certain you would be kicked out of the academy for that." Yuu mentioned. "We're you?"

"Uhm… no. We probably won't be seeing Takanori-sensei again, though."

"So, what actually happened?" Akuma asked having quickly calmed back down.

"It's a bit hard to explain…"

"Don't dance around the question, peas- ahem, Satoya. We would both like to hear the full story."

Yuu's voice may have remained stoic, but his eyes and chakra clearly revealed his eagerness.

"Alright, alright. We should maybe sit down somewhere though. I don't want to stay standing at the entrance for the whole story."

And so, I explained what had happened, occasionally interrupting to answer questions.

"Sensei is a total asshole, but he was also right." Akuma stated.

"How in the world was he _right_?" Yuu responded in my stead.

"Shush, you haven't fought Satoya-kun, you wouldn't know." She turned to me: "I for one noticed that your hits were way weaker than they should be. I mean, you work at the forge and have no problem lugging around metal, yet barely even scratch me when we fight."

"Maybe I'm not a good fighter?" I reply.

"Oh, come on, even Yuu managed to give me a big fat bruise. I know you could to the same if you wanted."

_"Even!?" _Yuu yelped indignantly.

She stuck out her tongue in response.

_Ugh these kids will be the death of me._

"Okay, point taken." I said.

"Wha-!?"

"So, is everything cleared up now?" I ask before Yuu can get any more outraged.

"Well, I sorta wanna try fighting you when you aren't holding back now." Akuma said.

Yuu meanwhile turned white as a sheet at the mere thought of it.

_Wow, he's legitimately white as a sheet. Glad to know I'm not the only one affected by rapid color changes. _

"Let's wait until tomorrow my young **barbarian**. Today is another one of our lessons, isn't it?"

"Yeah I finally get to try and make a sword!" her eyes practically gleamed with passion.

_Are they actually glowing!? I am __**so**__ not looking forward to meeting Gai and Lee if getting literally blinded by the flames of youth is what awaits me._

"I shall take my leave in that case."

"_Ugh_, you can stay if you want y'know? Also,_ please _can at least one of you speak normally?" Akuma grumbled.

"I speak plenty normal, thank you very much!" I argue.

"It is only right to speak in a manner that befits my position!" Yuu squawked in a tone hardly fitting his eloquent sentence.

"Argh both of you are awful! At least Yuu is funny, Satoya just talks like an old man half the time."

_Old man? Mentally I'm not even middle aged!_

"Excuse me, I sound totally hip and cool." I joked.

"What does that even mean?" she whined. "You keep using that weird made up language too!"

"He doesn't just do it to annoy me?" Yuu asked.

**"I'll have you know it is neither weird, nor made up." **I explained.

"There you go again!"

"Okay _fine._" I said. "Just so you are aware, I'm not talking like this… however 'this' is" I waved my hands around for clarification. "to annoy you. It's simply my natural way of speaking."

"Well your natural way of speaking is stupid!"

**"What the frick did you just say to me you little shit? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy seals and have over-"**

She punched me in the arm.

"Okay I'll stop it." I grumbled, rubbing my shoulder.

Yuu's eyes were wide in disbelief. "Did you seriously invent an entire language?"

I smirked, but didn't say a word. And before Yuu could raise any protest the Gotsu, Akuma's dad, popped into the room.

"Sorry for the delay. The customer may be king, but gosh can they be a handful sometimes." he took note of the newcomer. "I see my daughter brought another _boy_ to our home."

Gotsu gave him a once over. "I also can't happen but notice a bruise on her beautiful face."

"_Dad!_"

"Let me guess." Gotsu continued. "You came here to learn about smithing?"

"Not at all, sir. I-"

"A-HA! You admit you're here to flirt with my darling little girl then?"

I facepalmed.

Akuma turned red in a mix of shame and anger.

And Yuu was too confused to process anything that was just said.

"Caught ya red-handed, didn't I?" Gotsu chuckled evilly.

"Dad _please_ just stop it! This is Ogura Yuu. Son of Ogura Zoku."

Her father's eyebrows rose up in acknowledgement. "That means your father ordered you here, correct?"

"I, uhh." Yuu cleared his throat and straightened his back. "I came here of my own accord, Nakao-sama. I merely wished to confirm Akuma-ch *ahem* Akuma-san's prideful declarations with my own eyes. I must admit they were not empty words."

"And you wish to stay and watch the forging process, I take it?" Gotsu asked.

"I'd be delighted to, sir."

Akuma's father murmured something unintelligible before responding: "Very well, you may stay. Please keep in mind my daughter is not quite at my level yet. Though in a few years that may very well change."

_Hey what about me?_

He ushered the two into the back, completely ignoring my existence.

_Hello!?_

* * *

The bastard left me all alone in the back of the shop to hammer the impurities out of raw metal, while he sucked up to the son of a wealthy merchant.

**"So what if I'm not as good as his ****_darling _****daughter?" **I huffed while hammering at the chunk of metal. **"I don't need some old fart's approval! Especially if I'm older than him."**

Which may or may not be true, I hadn't ever asked for his age. Judging by his beard's epicness though… Nono, my inability to grow decent amounts of facial hair had nothing to do with my age, and everything to do with genetics.

**"Not like having long hair is smart in a forge to begin with." **I grumbled to myself.

"Hey Satoya, how's it going?"

I jumped up, nearly dropping my hammer on the floor.

"Naruto, what're _you_ doing here?"

He usually spent the afternoon at Kiba's when I was away.

"Kiba has a clan gathering today and I was bored."

"Well, you can't _be_ here. How'd you even get in?"

He glanced back and forth between me and the window.

_You gotta be kidding me. _

Of course, the door opened before I could tell Naruto to leave.

"Who said you could quit hammerin' kid?" Gotsu admonished.

His eyes wandered to the blond intruder. Face changing from surprise, to puzzlement, to recognition, to cold rage.

"Who let that _brat_ in here?" he rhetorically questioned. "Both of you leave _right now!_

"Dad, what's going on?" Akuma asked as she walked in. "Oh, hey Naruto, how'd you get in here?"

"You _know_ this kid?" her father gasped.

"Yeah, he's a classmate." she responded, unaware of her father's inner turmoil.

"You should stay away from him. He's… bad news." her father said gravely.

"Naruto?" she clarified, finally noticing the atmosphere. "I mean sure he's obnoxious and a bit dumb at times, but besides that-"

"No buts! You will not be spending any time with this child or any of his friends and that's final!"

Naruto meanwhile was shrinking down into the corner of the room, attempting to fade into the background.

"Pardon my intrusion, I know you may not be acting the most rationally right now as it concerns the safety of your daughter. However, may I inform you that not only are all of us Naruto's friends," I stared at Yuu to make sure he didn't speak out. "But so is your daughter. Therefore, by your logic she may never again spend time with herself and you'd also lose potential ties to a wealthy client for your wares."

I may have been imagining things, but Yuu seemed impressed by my conversational bullshittery.

_All those years of customer service finally worth something!_

"Fine, you may stay. I still want _him_", he pointed at Naruto, "to leave immediately!"

Naruto was at the verge of tears as he quickly left the room, eyes downcast.

"Father stop! I'm tired of dumbass grownups bullying kids for no good reason."

"I must agree." Yuu added. "I cannot in good conscience recommend working with you if this is how you treat your peers."

_Oh wow that's rich coming from you._

I kept my mouth shut.

"First one of our teachers nearly kills Satoya and now _you _order one of my friends to leave the house, acting like he's some monster." Akuma argues.

"He _is_ a monster!" Gotsu retorted. "He…"

_That_ came extremely close to setting me off. Thankfully Akuma's discontented sneer already cut her father off before I could.

He seemed to be weighing the pros and cons of trying to convince his daughter. Ultimately, he decided it was not worth it to raise her ire and deflated in defeat.

"I can't make your choices for you… but please be careful around the boy. Things aren't always what they seem."

_No, they aren't old man. Maybe you should follow your own advice!_

Without a second thought, Akuma stormed out the front door and returned a few minutes later with a meek looking Naruto in tow.

"Now stay here you dummy!" she ordered.

* * *

Even after Naruto was allowed back inside I was left in the back room to continue my monotonous hammering. Only now Gotsu was also watching over me like a hawk to avoid witnessing his daughter interact with the 'dreaded demon child'.

_What joy. I hope they're at least having fun back there._

"Oh wow this is so cool!" I hear Naruto say from the other side of the door. He was clearly speaking loudly to spite me!

"Give that back you bastard!" Akuma yelped. "You're gonna break it!"

I peeked out of the room to see Akuma chase the blond ball of energy around the shop as he hopped around haphazardly swinging around the newly forged sword.

Yuu meanwhile was giving his all to refrain from laughing.

"Kid, I want to see some pure metal by the end of the day."

I turned to face the grumpy old man. "I mean no offense, but why exactly are you making me do this monotonous task instead of perhaps teaching me about forging weapons like Akuma?"

He snorted. "Simple. Akuma is passionate, while you are not."

_No shit, you practically shoehorned me into becoming an apprentice because of sexism._

So did not voice my thoughts, of course. "Were I not passionate, why would I put up with hammering metal for hours?"

"I reckon it's thanks to a strong sense of duty. You're a hard-working young lad, but I cannot shake the feeling that in truth, you are lazy."

I shrug off his statement and get back to hammering.

"What do you wish to make with that metal?" Gotsu inquired.

"This metal in particular? No idea. You're the one who told me to purify it, what do you plan on making?"

Spending around twelve hours a week doing nothing but heating and shaping raw metal ended with quite a large chunk of the stuff.

"Nothing. It is for you." he explained.

I gave a long uncomprehending look.

"What do _I _need all this material for?"

"You are the only one who knows of your own wishes. Though at this point I am quite certain is you aren't keen on creating weapons."

"Why would you assume that?"

"Because though you grumble about the constant monotony, you have never once asked me to teach you how to make one, even after I started teaching Akuma. I feel that the only way I could motivate you to create something _more_ was through an overabundance of material to work with."

I loathed to admit it, but the man had a point. I never was the most motivated of people and even now am only training to much because I know of what is to come. I may have been peripherally interested in forging in the past, but my true goal was to befriend a side character and remove myself from relationships of high plot relevance.

_How great that turned out, eh?_

Nonetheless, I still went ahead and learned the basics. I may even be able to reproduce some simple inventions of my age, but how useful would they really be? For all I knew there was good reason shinobi didn't use cars or even bicycles.

So what _did_ I want to make? There must be something. Something interesting that wasn't a weapon. Something that wouldn't necessarily cause a tech explosion, but valuable enough for me personally to be worth it.

Guns would be a natural choice. But I first had to learn Jutsu to fuel them with, as I had no clue about creating explosives.

So Guns was a start, but something I couldn't reveal to him. What else would I want to make? A computer perhaps, if only I knew how. I honestly didn't have much of a plan, smithing was just a nice occasional pastime. Watching metal heat up and hammering it into shape was strangely satisfying.

Additionally it was a good outlet to reduce my anxiety over the future..

_What could I make that'll come in handy years down the line? I can always just buy weapons so I really need something that would need to be custom made anyway. _

"I will make some custom fitted training weights." I finally conclude aloud.

With enough experience a full training suit might be possible.

Then, a certain idea popped into my head about a chakra powered suit of metal armor. There were visible stars in my eyes, the light I produced literally reflecting off the wall.

"I'm going to be **Iron Man**!" I gushed.

"What was that, kid?"

"Oh nothing, just had a great idea about Armor. How much do you happen to know about.." _Damm I don't know the word._ "**engineering**?"

"What's that?"

"Uhh it's like when you have a bunch of interlocking parts that can move independently?"

"Not too much. Those kinds of products tend to be fairly delicate and impractical for field use, and I cater to shinobi after all."

Another thing for the future in that case. Suna had their combat puppets so there must be some way.

_Sasori honestly was pretty much just a low-tech iron man._

"Well I guess I'll just have to figure it out on my own." I said cheerfully.

"Just as long as you don't burn the place down." Gotsu huffed in response. "I look forward to what you come up with."

With my newfound determination I dutifully returned to my work.

* * *

"Why do you choose such mean friends"? Naruto asked later that evening, nursing the comically large bruise on his head.

"You realize I chose to befriend _you_, right?" I responded with a laugh.

Naruto grumpily puffed up his cheeks. "Guess even you make good choices sometimes."

I snorted. The choice really wasn't mine. Get Naruto alone in a room with any single person and they end up becoming friends at some point. He was like a black hole of attracting platonic relationships.

_Poor Naruto. Doomed to end up in everyone's friend zone for all eternity. Except for Hinata, unless that plot point has fallen victim to the butterfly effect._

_Though calling it a plot point may be stretching things._

"But seriously you seemed to enjoy yourself plenty."

"Yeah Akuma's fun! Also really intense. Ogu-kun pretends he hates everything, but I know he secretly wants to join in and is just a big wuss about it."

That made me laugh, also made me ponder what Yuu's home life must be like.

"Yeah Akuma can be rough, just don't annoy her too much and you'll be fine." I explained. "Or you could just hit her back when she hits you."

"That wouldn't be fair." He grumbled.

"How so?"

"Because…" he quieted. "I guess I deserved it a little bit."

"Hah! At least you acknowledge it was your own fault. You shouldn't take other people's belongings, you know?"

"Yeah, but the sword was all shiny and I never held a newly forged weapon before."

_Most people probably never hold those…_

"Do you want to learn kenjutsu at some point?"

"Mm, not really. I'd rather learn some awesome ninjutsu!"

_Good, had me a little worried there._

"Better eat up your veggies then! A balanced diet is good for your chakra reserves."

Naruto grimaced but complied. Not that it would likely change much, but I internally screamed whenever I saw him stuff himself with nothing but meat and empty calories.

_And here I thought I'd never end up raising children._

* * *

The next day's morning classes came and went, and I was itching with anticipation to see who would replace Takanori.

_Oh. I guess I shouldn't be surprised._

"Greetings students. My name is Nana Mizuki and I will be your new Taijutsu instructor alongside Heikichi-san. I'm excited to get to know you all, and hope you will come to see me as not just a teacher, but also a friend."

Heikichi covered his face in embarrassment as Mizuki even crouched down to face us at equal height.

"I'd also like for you all to call me by my first name." he said with a cheerful smile.

"Yes Mizuki-sensei." The class chorused back.

_Gosh he seems so likable. To think he'll betray the village and attempt to kill a harmless kid like Naruto… well semi-harmless… and adorable. Wait, this isn't a harem anime! Who am I calling adorable?_

I shook off my thoughts and got ready for training. Mizuki might have seemed nice, but I knew what he was like underneath. In fact I counted on it. Every proper munchkin needs to know the Shadow-clone jutsu, and Mizuki was the surefire way of getting my hands on it.

Even if he was secretly an asshole, his introduction at least got me excited at the prospect of getting to know Iruka-sensei, who I now had no doubts would arrive to teach us next semester.

_Only four more months to go before I can finally begin learning ninjutsu._

I wasn't such a hardcore Naruto fan that I already knew how to form all the hand seals, or even had much of an idea about what kinds of ninjutsu existed. I had no clue about my chakra nature and all my chakra shaping practice had remained as basic as possible. Any mistake could damage my pathways and that was not something I would risk due to impatience.

Nono, chakra shaping and seal formation was not simple by any means, especially not something to figure out without instruction. There was a reason it took six years to learn nothing more than a few D-rank jutsu for most kids. Most had no opportunity to get tutored by their clan at home.

_Now that I think about it..._

Every single passing team of the future had at least one clan heir in it. No other teams had passed their jonin-sensei's test in the original storyline. Therefore, if I wanted personalized training, practically a must if one didn't want to end up a dead redshirt, I needed to get on a passing team.

_Shit, I can't get on a canon team that would derail everything. Actually would being part of a completely new team not derail canon as well? Decisions decisions…_

It was still a long ways off, and so far my only acquaintances without plot relevance are Akuma and Yuu.

_Heh, being on a team with them would never work out._

Not with Akuma being such a bratty hothead and Yuu remaining an arrogant prick. They were similar to Naruto and Sasuke in a way. Only far less skilled. Like an off-brand copy.

_Oh no, does that mean I'm an off-brand Sakura!? Nono if anything I'm Naruto and Akuma is Sakura, she's the girl after all. Is that sexist? I hope nobody is reading my mind right now…_

As if to prove me wrong, Akuma hit me in the shoulder right at that moment.

"How did you know?" I asked with a shocked expression.

She only responded with a befuddled stare as Akiyama-sensei cleared her throat at the front of the class.

"Please pay attention, Ibui-kun."

_Oh thank god._

"Yes, ma'am."

Akuma rolled her eyes beside me while Yuu chuckled behind into his hand.

_Oh yeah, no way I could team up with them. My sanity couldn't handle remaining around friends like these._

"Hey Satoya," Akuma started. "now that you got over your aversion to violence, fight me for real!"

"And here I thought you had left me for another man." I sob.

She rolled her eyes. "Shaddap Satoya, or I _will_ leave."

"Hey, you're the one who wants to fight." I raise my hands in a placating gesture. "Or are you perchance looking for an excuse to get out of fighting me? I mean, I _am_ an absolutely amazingly terrifying opponent after all."

She instantly pulls back her shoulder and sends her fist right towards my stomach. With hardly any time to react I barely manage to tense my muscles.

A hand clasps around her wrist shortly before impact.

"Now now, while I appreciate the passion, no fighting before we say to." Mizuki admonished.

"Sorry sensei." she said. "This one's getting on my nerves."

"Yes, young boys can be annoying. This doesn't mean we should attack our allies." Mizuki chuckled. "We all need to watch each other's backs after all."

_Nice double standards you got there, pal._

He clapped his hands. "First off, fifteen laps around the court, top speed."

_Oh god…_

* * *

Mizuki seemed quite disappointed in our previous training regimen and dialed the fitness up to 11. It didn't bother me much, as the fitness portion of class was never much of a problem for me, but I could see how taxing it was for most of the other students.

_Poor Shikamaru… I guess his mother hasn't forced him to train too much at his current age._

It was only once the class was thoroughly exhausted that the sparring began. Akuma barely managed to stay standing as she faced me.

"This is… hardly… fair." she said between breaths.

"Whatever do you mean? One must be ready for anything. What if you're ambushed on the road after having run across the country?" I said with a smirk.

She glared at me. "In that case, come and get me!"

She pulled out her training kunai and held it up in a defensive position. Meanwhile I cycled my chakra to storm straight at her and bulldozed her to the ground. Clearly she had not expected a frontal charge, and her tiredness slowed her dodge.

"I win." I said cheekily.

"Perhaps you should fight someone with equal amounts of energy?" Heikichi spoke up, Sasuke standing behind him.

"None of the other students were up to sparring with this poor young man." I could sense my teacher's mischievous glee.

"Heh… sure thing sensei."

Sasuke gave me a slight bow, before entering a combat ready stance. I mirrored his movements. Though I held back less this time, Sasuke also took the fight far more seriously. Instead of mere glancing blows to test the waters, he took risks and capitalized on my every opening.

My hits exceeded his in raw power, but I only managed one for every ten of his. By the end of it all I was covered in bruises, but remained standing.

_Please oh please don't make this become a common thing…_

"An orphan standing up to a young Uchiha clan member? I am very impressed." Mizuki commented. "Perhaps it would do you two well to continue your sparring.

_Why do you hate me, God?_


	7. Destiny Arrives

**For those of you wondering where I've been, there is a more detailed author's note at the bottom.**

**I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Destiny Arrives**

As weeks turned into months my motivation wavered ever more. Math was nothing special I hadn't learned before. History, while interesting to a degree, was full of propaganda painting Konoha as a village without flaws. Japanese class was superfluous as I had already taught myself to read and write during my otherwise boring childhood days and constantly practiced it while creating poorly drawn knockoff Mangas of stories I remembered from earth.

At least we'd finally met Iruka Sensei a couple weeks ago and started our Ninjutsu classes, but even the most basic control exercises were uncomfortably painful. Nevertheless, I pushed through. I couldn't afford to slack off; At least not in my combat training.

I was severely tempted to skip the other theoretical classes entirely. Only if I skipped those and still passed everything it would raise some questions. Questions that if answered could have dangerous repercussions.

A genius I was not, and certainly could not pretend to be one once I got out of school.

"Troublesome" I mumbled, dragging myself out of bed and making some breakfast.

_Ah, picked up a bad habit from Shika…_

Try as I might I simply could not shake off my connection to parts of the main cast. It may have been possible by acting like a horrible person, but that would extensively sabotage my future. Eventually I gave up keeping canon perfectly on course and simply hoped that the changes I caused wouldn't doom us all.

Even if it did, at least without worrying as much I could fully appreciate my friendships. It made me realize how much I missed being a kid without pressing responsibilities, spending time goofing off with friends not a care in the world.

Reliving childhood on Earth would have been extremely tedious, but the kids here were all a lot smarter than I expected of people their age, possibly thanks to chakra influence. It also helped that I was a total manchild even after hitting thirty.

I smacked my lips with satisfaction as I finished my bowl of porridge and trudged to the bathroom. I stared at my mirror image as I brushed my teeth.

_My hair's getting too long. I should really cut it soon._

Even after spending seven years in this body, adapting to my changed appearance remained difficult. In fact, the older I got, the worse the cognitive dissonance. I had less flab now than at any point during my previous life. What I used to remember as soft features had turned sharp, my hair was far darker and my eyes slanted. It looked like I could be my own half brother had my mom cheated with someone distinctly more Japanese-looking.

Funnily enough I look more Japanese than most people in Konoha exempting the Uchiha.

I dropped those thoughts as I gurgled and spat. School started soon and I never liked being late.

Before leaving the building I knocked on Naruto's door a few times to make sure he wasn't oversleeping. He usually left way sooner than I, however my internal clock had never failed me as opposed to his, so I always made sure.

_Hm, not here._

Having spent far too long doodling the night before, I was in for a tiresome day. I was so out of it that it took me fifteen minutes of walking before I noticed the hushed voices and closed shops. One could practically taste the uneasiness in the air, even ignoring my special senses. Were we under attack? No, people would be panicked not tense.

Perhaps a battle was imminent? I wasn't well-versed enough in Naruto lore to know everything that happened before the events of the show, but a battle would have certainly gotten mentioned at some point.

_Would it? We barely got to know anything about Naruto's childhood after all…_

Great now I psyched myself out. I quickened my pace threefold and rushed to the Academy. The atmosphere within the classroom was better, but still oppressive. Though most of the students looked just as confused as I felt. Even Naruto sat quietly beside Kiba which was really concerning.

"Guys what's wrong with everybody? What's going on? Did something bad happen?" I whispered to my group of friends with a note of concern.

It was Choji who answered in an uncharacteristically somber tone: "It's Sasuke. He.. his clan was... it's gone. I heard from my mother when she brought me to school."

"Oh thank goodness." I replied as the worries lifted from my shoulder, causing everyone to send me estranged glances.

_Oh shit did I say that aloud?_

"I mean, it's awful of course. But I thought we might be about to enter a war or something… Better a known tragedy than an unknown one," I justified with an awkward smile. Judging by their reactions my attempt at defusing the situation didn't work.

"How can you say that!?" Naruto hissed, clearly offended. "Sasuke lost his entire family, and you're glad about it?"

I definitely did not expect Naruto of all people to lash out at me.

"NO! Gosh I cannot believe what you're insinuating here," I replied with genuine agitation. "I'm not glad it happened, just relieved to at least know what's going on and that I don't have to worry about any of my friends being in danger."

He still looked indignant at my explanation but before he could open his mouth he got interrupted by the classroom's door swinging open and an uncharacteristically gloomy Iruka walking into the room. I'd seen him angry and exasperated plenty of times, but his sullen expression did not befit the man in the slightest.

"Please settle down everyone," he said while walking behind his desk, slightly sighing before he continued, "For those of you who haven't heard about it from your parents or classmates, I have some bad news to report." The classroom was more silent than it had ever been when Iruka chewed us out.

"The Uchiha compound was attacked last night. Your classmate, Uchiha Sasuke, is the only survivor," he said, pausing to let the information sink in. "And to stop any spread of nonsensical rumors: The perpetrator of the event is already known. It was none other than one Uchiha Itachi, Sasuke's brother."

I could sense the statement's impact spreading through the room like a tidal wave as multiple eyes and mouths opened in shock. I was personally overcome by a surreal sense of disbelief. Until now there hadn't been any concrete evidence of future events truly coinciding with those of the series, but there it was; Sasuke's biggest turning point as a character.

Soon he'll be back and have turned into the broody, borderline psychotic character we all know and love.

My attention was dragged back to Iruka as he added a closing statement, "Sasuke-kun will also be spending the next few days in psychiatric care. I believe it is for the best not to speak of the incident when he returns to the academy."

Mere seconds later the classroom broke out into chatter as many seemed to think Iruka meant for us to get all the gossip out of our systems before Sasuke came back. Iruka's brow was twitching and it looked like his head was just about ready to grow three sizes. I quickly raised my hand before it came to that.

"Sensei, can you explain the ox seal to me again?" I ask with my best attempt at puppy eyes, "It feels weird whenever I pulse chakra through it."

Iruka glanced around the room and gave a defeated sigh, "Everyone, today will be self study. Come to me if you have any questions!" He must have determined the time it'd take to calm everybody down wasn't worth it.

Mission successful.

"Now, why don't you show me your hand seal, Satoya-kun," Iruka said as he walked over.

* * *

My hands were cramping by the time class finished. Turns out I'd been doing not only the ox seal wrong, but all the others had been wrong as well. If the shapes aren't held perfectly steady in their respective positions the chakra won't follow the correct path and the technique either fizzles out, needs unnecessarily high amounts of chakra, or worst of all short-circuits and blows up in my face.

Iruka was quite surprised to see an otherwise competent student have such sloppy sealing technique. Turns out that what I was doing would have been painful even without hypersensitivity. On the plus side now that I knew how to reduce my discomfort, future Ninjutsu classes won't suck quite as much as they had until now.

Once Iruka left, I felt someone grab my shoulder. It was Naruto, and he did not look very pleased.

"Uhh, something the matter, Naruto?" I asked, to which his frown only deepend. I awkwardly scratched the back of my head and Naruto let out an annoyed huff.

_What are you, my girlfriend?_

I pushed his hand off my shoulder and rolled my eyes. "If you aren't gonna explain then why bother walking up to me?" I said, turning back around. Naruto mumbled something behind me but it was mostly unintelligible beyond the name Sasuke.

"What about Sasuke?" I asked internally annoyed by his grumpy aura.

"We should go visit him," Naruto remarked, amping my blood pressure up to an unhealthy degree, "He's one of us now…"

_Are we a cult?_

"An orphan," Naruto quickly added noticing my confusion. "You helped me years ago when I was alone; We should help Sasuke too."

I rubbed my temple in an attempt to stave off the headache I felt coming along.

This is what it comes down to ey? The butterfly effect biting me in the ass. Then again they were supposed to be reincarnations of the sage's kids, so aren't they destined to battle each other no matter what Naruto does? If that's the case there is no need to turn him down.

As a matter of fact, having him pester Sasuke this early may very well jump start their rivalry, which will give me the opportunity to dodge getting beat up in our Taijutsu classes in the future.

"Okay Naruto, I'll come visit him with you," I relent, to which Naruto perks up and looks about ready to dash out the window. **"Hold it in the name of the law!"**, I say in my best Dredd impression that naturally flies straight over his head. "We should at least finish our classes for the day before heading off," I add in Japanese.

"Ugh, as if you care about class!" the blonde responds with an exaggerated pout. Telling him I was more worried about his scores than my own deepened his annoyed expression, but he did not refute my reasoning.

* * *

It was quite late by the time we left the academy and I was honestly surprised Naruto hadn't just booked it straight out of there way sooner, dragging me along with him. Not that I was complaining… well okay I was definitely kicking myself on the inside. The afternoon was filled with more theory and a big waste of my time. Why should I care about battles that happened before I was born? Sure the third shinobi world war was awful, but compared to the horrific world wars of my previous world?

Meh.

Anyway none of that really mattered in the long run anyway. I think these history classes are really just a way for them to measure their prospective shinobi's memory retention abilities. We've all been mentally conditioned and taught techniques to efficiently memorize and catalogue information. At times when recalling things in my head, it's almost like watching a movie of my previous actions.

If my old earth had any such techniques I was completely in the dark about them. More likely they were only available here. Probably thanks to chakra doing weird stuff again, or some other biological factor. I had no idea. I appreciated them nevertheless, since it meant that unlike twenty years ago, I don't have a god-awful sense of direction anymore and was able to easily navigate the streets of Konoha to arrive at the hospital just before six o'clock.

As soon as we walked through the doors I expected Naruto to shout out and demand to be brought to Sasuke's room. Only after looking over my shoulder did I remember how meek he acted when it came to the general public.

_Guess it's my time to shine._

I walked up and peered over the standing desk that reached to my shoulders and looked up to the dull-eyed, brown haired ninja reading a newspaper. Since they did not react to my presence, I loudly cleared my throat and opened my mouth..

"Pardon me mister," I started in my politest tone, "Would it be possible for my friend and I to go visit our classmate, Uchiha Sasuke?"

The man dropped his magazine, glanced at the both of us, snorted, and went back to reading.

**"Excuse me you fucking asshole, how about you do your fucking job, huh?"** I hiss out, making my intentions clear even if they didn't understand the words. "Sasuke-san is our classmate and my regular sparring partner. We will not leave before making sure he is healthy."

The ninja let loose a drawn out sigh at my words, and sluggishly lowered his magazine back down as though it was the most strenuous thing in the word. Fixing me with a cold stare he said only a single word, "No." He then snapped his booklet back in front of his face and blocked us from sight.

I felt indignant anger flare up behind me and Naruto shouted out before I could hold him back, "What do you mean no? Sasuke lost his family and you want us to stay away!? Permission or not, we'll get into that room one way or another. Believe it!"

I internally cringed at Naruto's blatant declaration to disregard safety rules while the desk-ninja crumpled the reading material in his hand. "Shut up, brat!" he spat out and ebbed aggressive intent. I'd felt much worse, so the meagre aura hardly affected me. Not to mention Naruto with his large chakra reserves and years of withstanding resentful gazes.

"Oi, what are you brats doing here?" shouted a familiar voice from further down the hall. "You better not have gotten yourselves injured again!"

_Perfect timing._

I turned around and quickly explained the situation. "Kawasaki-sama, we were inquiring as to the whereabouts of our dear classmate, Uchiha Sasuke. He's recently been subjected to a terribly traumatic event and we wanted to try and cheer him up a bit."

Doctor Kawasaki ran his hand through his hair and looked a now slightly meek-looking desk-shinobi straight in the eye. "Tokisa-san, even if it's these…" his gaze lingered on Naruto for a moment, "brats. That does not excuse your aggressive behaviour in the slightest."

The slightly embarrassed man broke off eye contact and stared at the ground as he answered, "Yes, Senpai."

"Good," answered my favorite doctor, "Now you two follow me. He just had a lengthy conversation with Yamanaka-sama, so he should be awake."

"Bye-bye, extra number 5!" I teasingly said to the grumbling Tokisa as we walked away.

When we reached the stairwell doctor Kawasaki pulled us to the side with a stern expression, "I'm only letting you see him because I'd prefer not to hear the alarms go off when you try and break in through a window during the night. You youngsters better not make me regret it!"

This made Naruto give an awkward and me bury my face in my hands. He most definitely would have broken in if we couldn't meet Sasuke now.

* * *

Kawasaki was waiting outside; Part of me really wished he'd followed us into the room.

Sasuke's empty stare sent a shiver down my spine. He looked… broken. A man with nothing left to lose. I could see what happened in the show flash through my mind when I looked in those eyes. All the hate, helplessness and anguish buried underneath a faint veneer of calm.

_That is not a face you should ever see a seven year old child make. Not. Ever._

It was clear to me that no matter what Naruto did, this boy's path of vengeance was already set in stone. How in the world Yamanaka Inoichi cleared this boy for active duty boggled my mind. I guessed forcefully retiring the last Uchiha isn't an option.

I refrained from nearing the bed because the negative emotions made it feel like I was buried underneath a pile of sand. Naruto, ever the well-meaning oblivious kid, simply tip-toed up to him after a moment's hesitation.

"Hey Sasuke… I'm really sorry for what happened. How do you feel?" asked Naruto in the softest voice I'd ever heard him use. Sasuke remained silent, his dead eyes seemingly looking straight past Naruto. The young Uchiha's expression did not bear not the slightest hint of acknowledgement.

Realizing he wouldn't be getting a response, Naruto continued, "I just wanted to tell you that you can count on us. If you ever need anything. Just want to talk or to fight or… well… need help, I'll be here." Naruto's voice gained a slight spark of energy and he delivered his final line with conviction, "Us orphans need to stick together. Believe it!"

That exclamation instantly sharpened Sasuke's gaze and for a moment I could both see and feel unrestrained rage flash across his face. "Don't you dare compare us!" he hissed out, before smoothing his voice into a colder, more factual tone, "You have no idea what it's like. Don't pretend you know what I'm going through and don't ever fucking talk to me as if we're friends. I have a mission, and you're nothing but dead weight that'll drag me down into the mud long before I can complete it."

His declaration got me to snap out of my nervous stupor. I protectively stepped in front of my friend and clenched my jaw. Sasuke didn't even seem to notice me until I started to speak, "Just like we don't know what you're going through, you cannot know what we've been through either."

Sasuke shifted his dark gaze and spoke with a voice devoid of any emotional inflection, "Tell me then, have you ever planned to kill someone?"

The way he delivered those words would have already been enough to shake me to the core, but then his eyes flashed crimson. For the shortest moment I was whisked away into a different room. The picture of two freshly bloodied corpses was seared into my retinas as I stared at who I assumed were Fugaku and Mikoto with a sword stabbed through their chests.

The image flickered and dissipated as suddenly as it had appeared, but even that brief moment of terror was enough to knock me on my ass and make me hyperventilate. Visions of a metal pole sticking through my leg and debris all around me jumped to the forefront of my mind.

Sasuke went back to staring into nothingness as Naruto quickly bent towards me and tried to calm me down. I eventually got my heart rate back under control and told Naruto that we should leave. He agreed without a second thought and we walked out the door to face a grim-looking Kawasaki. Judging by both his expression and aura, it was clear he'd monitored the conversation.

After ruefully shaking his head, likely knowing full well that the higher-ups of Konoha would push Sasuke back into the academy, he escorted us from the building.

* * *

That night in bed the same thoughts kept circling my mind over and over.

_I let this happen. If I had just warned someone, told someone about Danzo. If I'd accepted Sasuke's offer to train with Itachi. Done something!_

This wasn't just a story anymore. This was real. And I'd knowingly let an entire clan get wiped out. I let an innocent boy's parents get murdered and turned that boy into a ruthless killer.

_What kind of asshole am I to let that happen? I might not have been able to stop it… but I should have at least tried. And now it's too late. Nothing I can do will change that. Does Sasuke really deserve to live the next ten years full of hatred? Even if it all turns out well in the end, is that justification enough?_

I couldn't tell. Years had gone by and while my memory of events in this life were damn near crystal clear thanks to the concentration training we went through in the academy, the memories of my previous life were still just as faded as they had been when I first became aware.

_I'm not smart enough for this. I can't plan out some grand strategy to save the world. To make sure everything goes more smoothly than it had gone in the original story. How arrogant would I need to be to think I could single-handedly influence things for the better?_

_But then again… how heartless am I to not even try?_

...

Needless to say, I did not get a single wink of sleep that night.

* * *

**Heyo lads and ladies, this is the Author speaking. I ain't really got any amazing excuses for not updating in a long time, but I'll still try my best to give some decent ones. When my semester ended I travelled around and hung out with friends and family who I hadn't seen in a long while. When I got back to Uni I was swamped with work that I'd pushed up over the vacation and then the quarantine hit.**

**I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't have the time, I honestly just put the story in the back of my mind for a long while before I started reading fanfiction again, but now since I'm studying for my eight exams in August I genuinely do not have lots of time on my hands.**

**I'll do my best to continue writing in the evenings when I don't feel too mentally drained for it, but I can't guarantee any regular updates.**


	8. Spectre of the Past

"_No hard feelings, right Johnny?"_

_**You shitting me, asshole? **__"No of course not. I get it, I'm a newbie, your my senior… Not like I could have swayed them anyway. I am awful at giving presentations."_

"_I'll back you for any ideas you might have in the future, totally pro bono! I swear this on my credibility."_

_**As if you fucking have any. **__"Heh, yeah. I'll see what I can come up with." __**Why are you like this, Jonathan? You know it won't get any better!**_

_And it never did…_

* * *

**Chapter 8: Letting Go**

I woke up in a cold sweat and took a few moments to ground myself. The sun had not come up yet and my curtains were pulled shut.

_That damn dream again, huh?_

They'd been getting more frequent the closer I got to graduation. Bits and pieces of my past life that I had thought long forgotten and buried in the depths of my subconscious bubbled to the forefront on a weekly basis. Images of ducking below the blankets watching anime as my parents fought, or getting pushed around by my peers, constantly reminding me of my previous powerlessness.

_How annoying._

I rolled out of my bed and lazily flopped to the floor like a seal. Days like these were all too common recently. Days where my past and present views clashed.

Twelve years of life in this new world. Six years of ninja training and shifting my mindset ever so slightly to that of a career killer. Only one last week before the graduation exam. And yet, still I got haunted by spectres of my past. Worries of impending doom, and remembrances of personal tragedy. My memories may have been incomplete, but those few that I could clearly recall never left me no matter how much time went by.

I took a few steadying breaths and smacked my head against the floor. The pain motivated me to get started with my morning exercise. Blood dripped to the floor in front of my face, but I hardly noticed it over the sound of blood rushing in my ears. I was almost at the story's beginning. The turning point where Naruto stole the forbidden scroll and learned the shadow clone technique. The single must-have ability if any of my munchkinery plans were to blossom.

Even though I spent much of my free time practicing and made sure to listen and follow our teachers' advice, it simply could not compare to the time, resources and techniques invested into the group of clan heirs. As good as our academy teachers were, and I had to admit that Mizuki and Iruka were unironically the best teachers I'd ever had, they were not enough to close the gap.

_Still not even close to capable of facing the Akatsuki._

My thoughts wandered as I finished my strength training and began my stretches.

At least I'd convinced Yuu and Akuma to keep practicing with me after school and on weekends. No matter how often they called me a slave driver, I knew they'd be thankful in the long run.

I finished up my routine and towelled the sweat from by body. My eyes scanned my wall of drawings as I walked past my manga-littered desk and stepped into the shower. The cool water splashing against the cut on my forehead eased my conscience as I closed my eyes and entered a meditative trance.

_Let's tally the events. What all have I affected?_

Naruto was definitely a better student than he should have been, but with the teacher's still adjusting his scores meant he remained firm in his position of dead last. Additionally he remained unable to create a decent clone, so the graduation ceremony should go as planned too.

However, there was a very specific image hovering at the back of my mind. A now familiar picture of Sasuke and Naruto after their spar. One of the few things I could vividly remember from the series itself. From their final battle at the valley of the end.

_They gave each other the seal of reconciliation._

It should not have happened, and yet somehow Naruto managed to soften Sasuke by just the barest amount. What this meant for the future was unclear. Perhaps they would not go so far as to blow each others' arms off this time around. Haplessly shrugging my shoulders finished up my shower and dried myself off.

After putting on my mesh shirt and draping my preferred mix of browns and greys over my body I hopped out the door.

"OI, Naruto!" I shouted outside his apartment. "You better not be sleeping in!" He'd gotten more and more frustrated at the academy recently and his motivation to get up on time had wavered. Normally I'd just leave him be, but not this time. Our final week should be spent among friends and enjoying ourselves. I would not let my day get soured by listening Iruka yell at Naruto for the hundredth time.

_Hell, he's not gonna open up. Guess I have no other choice…_

I grabbed his spare key from behind the loose brick in the hall, and opened up the door to find a…

"**Holy mother of god…" **_She's beautiful._

I licked my lips and tasted something faintly metallic as my head got woozy. I heard the near naked woman gasp in surprise seconds before I fainted and crashed to the floor.

* * *

I came to with Naruto standing above me, a worried look on his face. "Hey, is your nose okay? I hope you didn't fall on it or something, it bled a lot."

"Seriously? So that really happens to people. Huh," I cryptically reply while mulling over what I saw before blacking out. I looked around the room to find any trace of the beautiful woman from earlier, and noticed two very conspicuous things: Paint and… porn?

_What should I ask about first?_

"So uhh, Naruto. Who was the pretty lady from earlier?" I mumble, feeling my cheeks heat up.

_Wait, that's not what I wanted to ask! What are you doing you stupid second brain!?_

Naruto's laughter lit up the room in response. To be fair, I'd been abstinent for an incredibly long time considering my true age so I didn't feel an ounce of shame.

"That girl was me!" Naruto cackled. Okay. Maybe I _did_ feel an ounce of shame. "It's a technique I came up with. I call it the Sexy Jutsu," he proudly announced, to which I groaned in frustration and buried my face in my hands. How could I have forgotten about that!?

"I assume the.. 'book' over there was what you used as reference material?" I concluded aloud. Naruto replied by vigorously nodding his head. "Where did you even get that?" I questioned, crossing my arms and raising my brow like my mom always used to.

"I got it from the old man's office," the cheeky brat replied with a wide grin plastered across his face. I glanced between him and the buckets of paint, a spark of light flashing past me when an idea crossed my mind.

Naruto's laugh faltered under my intense level of scrutiny and he tried to scramble away before I could chew him out. Little did he know that I had very different intentions.

"Master, please show me how you perform that Jutsu!" I declared with fierce conviction, shifting from the bed to kowtow on the floor in front of him.

"But it's my signature Jutsu, I can't just give it away!" he vehemently protested.

"You won't? Then what might happen, pray tell," I innocently intoned, "when I bring up those cans of paint with the authorities?"

"What!?" he yelped aghast, "You can't do that, Sato! You're my partner in crime! My bestest pranking buddy!"

"Show me, or I tattle to Iruka!" I threatened with a victorious smirk.

"I.. uhh..." the kid's eyes jumped between myself and the cans of paint, "Okay, I'll do it. I'll show you," he said with a betrayed look. I followed his hands as he shaped the seals. I tried to memorize the flow of his beacon-like chakra as it flooded the room. The seals shifted from monkey, to boar, to ram and the tide of chakra condensed around his form like a shell.

_Wait… why monkey? That's not the henge…_

"Oiroke no jutsu!"

For whatever reason Naruto decided to eskew the mist covering his -her?- privates, kicking my brain into overdrive. Even with my nose bleeding intensely, my poor little john remained unaffected.

"Ahem. Very impressive," I say trying to keep my voice steady and holding my nose to stem the flood. I poked the now female-looking Naruto's extremities to inspect the transformation's stability. It took all my willpower not to poke anywhere else.

_Focus Satoya, he's just a kid in a very convincing transformation. No need to get excited._

"Sato-kun that tickles," she said in a cutesy voice, causing my nose to bulge like water balloon shooting blood on my palm.

"Sooooo how did you manage to make it so lifelike?" I ask him. Henge are typically unstable and felt somewhat like they're made of glossy paper, especially if they don't conform to a body's usual dimensions. Naruto's transformation on the other hand had realistic temperature, texture, and the chakra signal he gave off seemed just like any normal person's.

_Ignoring his immense reserves at least._

The implications were huge. So huge that it banished any of my pervy thoughts straight to the abyss. No wonder he managed to trick so many people, from Zabuza to Pain, with his transformations.

"Naruto, I've made up my mind. We'll be staying right here to you can teach me that ability!" I decided immediately, "It's totally awesome! One of the most amazing jutsu I've ever seen!" I made sure to lay it on extra thick to convince him, and considering his blushing cheeks my plan was working.

"Hehe it is amazing, isn't it?" he said, rubbing the back of his neck, "Way better than some dumb bunshin!" His eyes were pressed into lines and he wore dazzlingly bright smile.

_Yeah, I'm definitely not going to the academy today._

* * *

Mizuki… was a goddamn bastard. Truly, I take back any kind words I may have said to him. The bastard seriously taught Naruto the wrong hand signs for the transformation technique! How had nobody noticed that? Sure the seals looked slightly similar, but come on Iruka, I expected better of you!

Then again maybe I should thank him. Not every day do you see an academy student create an immensely useful technique. I could imagine the intricacy of the Sexy… okay I'm not gonna keep naming it that. The intricacy of the perfect transformation technique was astounding, and according to Naruto he'd mostly just done it on instinct!

_Stupid prodigious protagonists and their stupid unfair abilities._

Not that I was mad or anything… Okay I was mad; Ever so slightly. I spent the whole frickin day trying to successfully transform to no avail. Naruto even had the gall to say I need to figure it out myself before ditching me to go to class! By all means his darn technique made no sense whatsoever. It was too far beyond my meagre capabilities.

_Come on Jonny boy, you just don't got the talent._

"Shut up," I muttered to nobody.

_If that brat Konohamaru can learn it, so can I! I'll stay at home doing nothing but spamming this stupid jutsu all day long if that's what it takes!_

I wouldn't be surprised to find out that Mizuki had done this with the other basic academy jutsu as well. I could not imagine any other explanation as to why the kid who could learn Rasengan in a single week had trouble learning basics like the substitution technique.

_Struggling the way I had..._

Okay gotta stuff those nagging thoughts way down. I may have struggled but I was more than ready at this point! The exam would be a piece of cake.

_Speaking of, let's go through my repetition before I burn through all my chakra._

"Bunshin no Jutsu!"

My three clones came out without a hitch. A damn fine specimen if I may say so myself. Whoever my mother chose to marry this time around must've been quite the looker.

_He could've only been better than dad was._

I slapped my cheeks. I'd definitely been spending too much time inside my own head recents. After inspecting the illusions to my satisfaction, I dispelled them and went onward to the replacement technique.

"Kawarimi no Jutsu!" I shouted shortly before appearing where my desk chair had just stood, the chair clattering to the floor behind me. _So far so good. _A mix of apprehension and giddiness roiled in my gut. It was almost time to truly enter the story. To finish up the calm parts of my life and go on grand adventures. To help save an entire world; At least as much as an extra like me could.

Riding on the dopamine high, I zipped back to my previous spot just above the chair with a quick Shunshin and carried the piece of furniture back to its rightful place. As soon as the chair thunks to the floor I froze up. There was a whole lot of blood on my hand. My heart hammered in my chest. Someday soon there would be blood on my hands. One way or another I'd personally take the life of a living, breathing, thinking human being. Takanori's words from long ago echoed in my mind.

_You're so strongly against violence that you wouldn't even harm someone who threatens to kill you!_

I shook from those thoughts and let out the breath I'd been holding. The blood was only from my earlier nosebleed. Nothing a quick trip to the bathroom wouldn't fix. I looked up in the mirror and for a brief moment the visage of a dead man looked back at me.

_You're worthless._

I glared up, the mirror reflecting Satoya's expression right back at me. I wasn't worthless; I'd worked hard damnit! It was a testament to my devotion that none of those techniques had hurt anymore. The chakra merely tingled a bit as it travelled along my network.

_It's not about that._

I let out a huff. This conversation was old hat by now. Ever since that hospital visit years ago it'd been circling my mind like a satellite. It always ended the same way:

_It had to be done, and it would be arrogant to think I could have changed anything._

"And yet, that reasoning remains lacking even after all this time."

I glance back at the mirror. Yes, I'd let a clan get wiped out. I'd let a poor child get tortured in a genjutsu and knowingly condemned him to years of violent revenge. But it was necessary! The story had to remain on track.

_And yet here you are. Planning, no, expecting and wishing for your own private little genin squad and teacher._

I couldn't ignore that voice. It was true, joining a squad might be a mistake. Canon never had a Nakao Akuma, never mentioned any Ogura Yuu and most definitely never whispered any word of Ibui Satoya. Nevertheless here I was. Planning -No- _Pushing_ those two to train with me in the hopes to pass. My eyes once again jumped to my reflection.

_You must accept the facts. Either destiny remains unchanged and you simply cannot succeed, or the future is already up in the air._

I don't know how long I spent staring back at myself. Anger roiled in my gut. Anger with no place to go. He was right, of course. He was always right. Stupid Jonathan and his stupid book smarts. His damned canon knowledge. His damned utilitarian morals! Fuck that guy!

That asshole did nothing with his life, just let himself get killed! I had no idea how that fact had hidden so well from me, for the first seven years of my time here, but I knew better now!

"Plenty social and a semi-stable job. What a joke," I grimaced. That may have been true for most of it... but it wasn't all. I couldn't let myself associate with him anymore. The dumbass Jonathan Golsby who'd taken the fall one too many times. Who'd put off confrontation for so long it ruined his life.

I had to leave that past behind. I could not move forward otherwise. I couldn't allow myself to transform into a carbon copy of my old life. I had to forge a new path as Satoya. A clean slate.

I gave myself a fierce look. "You're not him," I firmly announced.

I could do this. I was truly capable of becoming a fully-fledged, superpowered, magical ninja! Twelve years of hard work. Timeline be damned, I wouldn't just let myself get pushed into the background and die as an extra this time around.

_I'm no longer just some average civilian joe who won't ever get any recognition for my successes. And today is my first step into the greater journey!_

I intensely focused on molding my chakra around me. To force it to conform to my body and alter my structure. With exaggeratedly slow movements I continued my sealing but wound up cancelling the technique altogether.

"AARGH!"

_Why won't this work?_

I didn't let my feelings of inadequacy catch up to me this time, I had to logically think this through. How had Naruto had done it? The boy had awful chakra control and even as the series went on it became decent, but never perfect. Somehow the skill had to be usable with shoddy control, but how?

_I highly doubt he'd be able to cast it on the fly if it took a lot of deliberation._

I repeated the technique's starting steps, but this time remained vague about what my transformation should look like. I enforced the feeling of wanting to be able to transform, without the need of transforming right this moment.

My chakra answered the call and rushed through my system, pooling around my body until I was enveloped in a semi-solid shell. I didn't have the byakugan, but at this point I had become intimately familiar with the feeling of my own inner energy and upon closer inspection…

"Holy fucking shit," I whispered, as though afraid that speaking any louder would awaken me from this dream.

The shell wasn't fixed, it was in constant motion. Not only that; It wasn't even a shell. It wove itself into a tapestry of branches upon branches. An entirely new pseudo network that seamlessly flowed into my original one, coalescing into a larger supernetwork.

_No wonder it's so difficult to spot the transformation. It's not just emulating a network, it __**creates **__a new network._

But there was a huge caveat to this discovery. It wasn't _just _that nobody had tried this jutsu, it's that most people literally were incapable of using it!

Building artificial chakra pathways like Naruto and now I myself have done was only possible with unnaturally large tenketsu. Which meant only Jinchuuriki, or idiots like me who'd been poking around with their chakra since age two could do it!

_And maybe others could if they unlocked their gates. But even then, the artificial structure would be far too volatile. _

Now the question remained, how had I managed to command this strange power last time? Every ninjutsu needed drive. A strong force of will backed by a strong body. It's why everyone kept shouting out their abilities as they used them. It helped synchronize your physical and spiritual energies.

_But how to transform? Even a supercomputer can't accurately simulate billions of atoms forming a structure, and yet when Naruto transformed into a chair he was indistinguishable from the real thing. And I highly doubt Naruto was some kind of nigh-omniscient supergenius._

Perhaps it simply came down to _feel_. The _feeling _of an object and the emotions, memories, subconscious thought tied to it. Just like I didn't know my previous body's structure down to the molecule, I could vividly recall what it _felt_ like.

Could it really be that simple? To focus only on the _what _and not the _how_?

"You can't be serious?" I heard come from my mouth.

_Only people like me can cast it. Are you even listening to yourself? You aren't the protagonist. You aren't some super gifted kid, just a brat with too much self importance._

I clenched my fists in barely restrained rage. "Shut the fuck up, Jon!"

_Or what? You gonna beat yourself up?_

I was better than this. I couldn't let myself get dragged down by a past that held no sway over my present.

_Indeed I will._

I knew exactly what shape I wanted to take. It was time to say goodbye to to Jonathan Golsby for good. My eyes blazed with enough fiery intensity to light up the wall as my hands shifted from monkey to boar to ram.

"Kanzen Henge no Jutsu!"

So long had the chakra in my veins felt like a seperate, almost alien entity, but not now. I felt it was an extension of my will. It made me feel full and strong. The vigorous energy moulded and shifted around my body. Compressing and transforming me in a way unlike I'd ever experienced.

I looked into the mirror to see a man in his late twenties staring back at me. Slumped posture, dead-eyed and haggard. I felt hollow and a crushing weight settled around me.

"Hey Jonathan," I rasped, "Long time no see."

The reflection stared back at me as I placed my hand on the mirror.

"**So, what's it gonna be?"** he asked.

My vision was swimming slightly, but I had to finish this if I ever wanted to get past things.

"It wasn't all your fault, first off," I said to myself, "You just tried your best to be an understanding Junior."

Jonathan sneered in the mirror, self hatred ebbing around me like suffocating smoke.

"**You think I don't know that? What use is there in trying to change things if fate screws you over no matter what!?"**

I took a shuddering breath, "Just because it isn't all your fault, doesn't mean you shouldn't have at least tried to get back up!"

He couldn't hide anything from me. He _was_ me. The version who'd let himself slip into the abyss. The one who refused to proactively try and change things for the better.

"**You haven't changed though. You sat idly by as the massacre went underway, just as I would have done in the past."**

"And we've always arrived at the conclusion that it was the correct course of action," I supplied.

However, unlike my past self I wasn't satisfied. If I were satisfied that my decision was correct, why did I still have nightmares? Why did I still feel regrets?

**"Seems like you've made up your mind."**

"Indeed I have. I won't just sit around in the future. I'll get strong, and then I'll face trouble head on!"

**"It's surprising it took us this long to realize what we really wanted."**

"Indeed it is," I said, huffing a short self-deprecating laugh. "It's time to say goodbye," I told him with a crooked smile which he mirrored.

"**I know," **Jonathan answered with an expectant look. His listless smile turned into a more authentic one as I embraced my new fate. His final words echoed in my mind.

_**Go show 'em what you're made of!**_

I smashed the mirror into pieces just as the technique ran out of chakra. My knuckles bled and the surroundings dimmed.

_Ah shit. Maybe not my smartest move..._

* * *

Sometime, somewhere else...

_He'd heard the forecast. An earthquake was due to hit in the near future. The alarms were already ringing outside as citizens were urged to get to a shelter._

"_Fuck that…" mumbled the man. He'd managed to stay in place for months now. No way would he break his streak because of this shit._

_**Not like anyone would miss me.**_

_He was a failure. Graduated top of his class and yet he let himself wind up like this. Discredited and alone. Mental illness was a real bitch._

_He raised his finger up to the ceiling. "It's up to you now, asshole. I don't care anymore."_

_Part of him knew he'd come to regret it eventually, just like with the scars._

I had to admit his prediction was right on target. Jonathan must have been glad about his chance for some better last words.

Rest in peace old pal

* * *

**Author's comment: Yes, I know Naruto doesn't really have a special Henge in the show, but… that seriously does not make much sense at **_**all**_**. Like why the heck would that useful an ability so rarely come to the forefront? Ambush sights would be filled to the brim with ninja disguised as rocks and shrubs. The amount of fraud that could get committed against citizens would be insane! I hope you find my attempt at a retcon somewhat acceptable.**

**Anyway, rant over. Feel free to comment about your gripes with the Henge (or other abilities) I'll try and take them into account.**

**P.S.: How do y'all feel about sayin the jutsu names in Japanese when activating them? I watched the show in japanese with subtitles so it's just what I'm used to personally.**


	9. Graduation

**Well, I promised I'd reach Canon eventually but damn did I end up making this chapter long…**

**For those of you who read Chapter 8 right as it released, I've added some extra details pertaining to the perfect transformation and how our protag learns it.**

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Graduation**

"IDIOT!" barked Akuma as she jabbed her finger into my side, making me involuntarily convulse in my bed. "CAN'T YOU GO A MONTH WITHOUT HURTING YOURSELF!?" She bored her hand into my side making me laugh uncontrollably.

"I YIELD! I'M SORRY!" I yelped, as I tried to curl into a ball to protect myself from her merciless tickling. I could understand her outrage. Almost bleeding out from lacerations on my arm shortly after getting knocked out from chakra exhaustion would have been an incredibly stupid way to go.

Luckily Naruto had just come home when he heard me smash my mirror and brought me to the hospital. Kawasaki had _not_ been pleased to see me in the slightest. Good thing the doctor never followed through on his threats of bodily harm.

Yuu stood on the other side of the bed and looked at me disapprovingly. He'd gotten a lot better about his haughtiness, but still occasionally displayed an impressive level of disdain when Akuma or I did idiotic things.

"It would not have been good for you to kill yourself so shortly before we become Genin. I would rather prefer not to get lumped together with the other civilian-born in our class," he said matter-of-factly. Normally I wouldn't approve of his derisive treatment, but the boy made a good point. Those guys effing sucked big time.

"Don't worry you guys, I should be outta here in time for graduation." On exactly the final day as a matter of fact. I had to nag Kawasaki extra hard for that allowance, "You guys feel prepared for it?"

Light sparkled off Akuma as she grabbed her bicep and energetically fist pumped, "Heck yeah I'm ready!"

Yuu in contrast only gave me a slight smile and nodded once before speaking, "Naturally, my skills are more than adequate. As long as you don't flounder, we have nothing to worry about."

"Oh-ho-ho. That is most fortunate news my compatriots. I shall make certain to reach the standards that you have set. It would be most shameful to falter after hearing such heartfelt declarations. I wouldn't want to lag too far behind my superiors," I said with a mockingly polite tone, smirking with a glint in my eyes.

Yuu drew his brows together and challengingly raised his chin. "I would hope not," he nasally spoke, playing along to my gentlemanly charade, "I recall you had not landed a single hit in our last spar."

Ouch, that comment stung a little. "My dear sir, that was hardly a fair battle. You had done nothing but lay traps and run aw-"

"Tactically retreat!" Yuu interrupted.

"Ah yes, _tactically retreat. _None of the damage I took had been a result of your direct engagement," I reasoned, feeling Akuma's frustration rising beside me as she likely rolled her eyes extra hard.

"A ninja is always prepared," responded Yuu immediately, playfully sticking his tongue out for good measure. I was about to retort but got cut off.

"Zip it you guys! You know I hate it when you talk like that!" Akuma groaned, crossing her arms as she turned to the wall with a pout.

"How else would we get to see you make such an adorable face?" voiced the boy across from her.

_Holy shit Yuu's making moves! She's even blushing!_

"S-Shut up! I'm leaving," she answered, jumping up from her seat and turning to leave the room. "You better rest up for the exam, Satoya! Else I'll never forgive you!" The door slammed shut behind her.

I looked up at Yuu. "So, Ogura-sama, I hardly knew you were such a player," I snarkingly remarked.

He replied with a most impressively deadpan look. "I've no idea what you might mean", he stated.

_I better remember to never play poker with that kid…_

"Sure sure," I joked in response, "So what'd I miss in class?"

He raised a brow. "Why do you ask? I very well know you do not care about theoretical classes."

"Ugh, I was talking about our friends! What have those brats been up to without me to mediate?" I chided.

Yuu gave a thoughtful hum, stroking his chin. "The usual," he cryptically remarked. "Naruto came late and got chewed out, after which Sasuke commented how it's no surprise he's always been dead last."

I chuckled at that. "So they had another fight, I assume?"

Yuu just gave me a _look_.

"Jeez those guys won't ever give it a rest, huh?" I chortled. Naruto and Sasuke really were more like an antagonistic married couple than like friends. Thinking about it, their relationship really never amounted to what one would call 'healthy' in the original series.

"And what about the others?" I added, "You think everyone will pass?"

"I believe everyone should be capable of displaying the basic academy techniques," Yuu answered. "However… I feel that many of our year aren't truly ready to become fully fledged ninja. This final exam seems far too simple."

"Well, maybe there's more to it?" I not-so-covertly implied, "We get our own private teachers as well, don't we? They likely judge our readiness for themselves."

My statement made him thoughtfully narrow his eyes. „You might be correct in your assessment," he said stroking his chin with a frown. "If that is the case, perhaps I should go stock up on supplies just in case."

Yuu's body twitched for a moment as he hesitatingly glanced between myself and the door. "You don't need to watch over me like a mother hen," I mentioned. "I can't exactly get into much trouble while I'm here."

"Of course," Yuu conceded with a polite nod, "If there's anything you might need, feel free to ask."

I was impressed how caring the haughty young boy I'd met a scant few years ago had become in the time I'd known him. "There is actually something I'd appreciate a great deal," I said, "I'd love to have my art supplies."

Yuu snorted at that; He never quite understood my fascination with drawing manga. However, considering it wasn't something I'd injure myself with he quickly agreed to bring it by at his earliest convenience. My friend then gave a short goodbye and left the room to get home for dinner.

_They're good friends. I hope the team assignments aren't completely random for civilians._

* * *

With nothing better to do I spent most of the week idly sketching the basic outline of what I remembered from the first Naruto issue. All I could recall was that he'd painted the Hokage monument and failed the academy exam. Judging by the shouting I'd heard coming from outside earlier in the day, my assumption must have been correct.

_He failed the graduation exam that takes place tomorrow at noon. That means he could have stolen the scroll at any point between noon and late evening._

The Shadow Clone technique was _not_ a basic skill. Even if Naruto was particularly talented he should still take a few hours to have learnt it, meaning he must have stolen the scroll quite early in the afternoon.

_He'd run away after stealing it. I recall the fight being in the forest somewhere but that isn't very helpful._

After all, the city wasn't called 'hidden in the leaves' for nothing. Forest surrounded us on all sides. I ruffled my hair and huffed in annoyance. Why was I even bothering to think about this? Getting close to Naruto while he studied was unnecessarily risky considering Mizuki could show up at any moment.

But… the scroll was simply too tantalizing to ignore. A wealth of knowledge ripe for the taking. Not being as averse to reading up on abilities, and most definitely not an active learner like Naruto, that scroll was my best shot at getting an edge over the other Ninja I might stumble across in the not-so-distant future.

Then again, I wasn't even sure what I'd do if I had the chance to look at the forbidden techniques. My memory was good, but not photographic. The best I could come up with was to copy any interesting techniques onto a notepad.

_I get the feeling I might be 'disappeared' for treason if I do something like that…_

"AARGH! Why can't things just be simple?" I asked nobody in particular. Maybe I should just give up and have Naruto teach me the Kage Bunshin after he learnt it for himself. He could certainly be convinced with a bit of nudging.

Even so, I should still stick somewhat closeby to monitor events and make sure Naruto hears everything he needs to.

_Yeah I'll do that._

Having made up my mind on how to progress, I contentedly spent the rest of the afternoon painting or scanning my surroundings to train my chakra sense. At one point I managed to sense faint wisps of chakra coming from just outside my room. -Anbu?- The Hokage probably wanted to make sure Naruto wouldn't lose one of his close friends.

Before I could try and more accurately determine the elite ninja's location, a familiar presence entered my room.

"You're a tough little brat, I'll give you that," said Kawasaki in that gritty voice of his. "I'd normally keep you here for observation just in case, but since I've gotten reports of no less than _three_ kids ceaselessly harassing hospital staff about your release for the exam…" he deflated a bit before finishing his sentence, "you're free to go."

"Finally!" I jumped up in relief and quickly began gathering up my things. "Thanks doc!"

His face was a mix of amusement and disapproval. "Just don't make me regret this by doing something stupid," he said and lightly shook his head. "Now get outta here! That blonde ball of energy has been jumping around the waiting area for the past twenty minutes."

That was all the motivation I needed to run down the corridor with a wide smile on my face. I stumbled down the stairs and got all sorts of aggravated stares pointed at my back, but I didn't care. Doing nothing but lying around had been tortuous and I itched to run a few laps around Konoha.

My hyped up pace only stopped when I nearly crashed straight into a certain nervously pacing blonde.

"Satoya!" he happily yelled, wrapping me in a hug.

"Naruto!" I shouted back spinning him around myself.

_Wait a minute, are we some romantic couple?_

I quickly dropped him to the ground and shuddered in horror at the imagery flashing through my mind. Goodness the onset of puberty was bothersome.

"Satoya-kun," I heard a friendly voice speak up beside me.

"Iruka-san? Why are you here?" I questioned, my mind abuzz trying to recall if he and Naruto were meant to be together today.

_Whatever, I should stop worrying so much._

"Since Naruto worked so hard cleaning the Hokage monument after his _prank_," he shot the boy in question a chastising, but also.. prideful? look, "I promised to take him out for Ramen. Naruto insisted we bring you along."

That _did_ sound rather tantalizing. "I'd be happy to join you two," I said with a polite bow. I liked Iruka, but still saw him as more of a superior than friend.

"Well, then let's be off," our Teacher responded with a slight smile.

My mouth was already watering in anticipation.

* * *

Naruto and I were busily slurping down our respective bowls of noodles when Iruka spoke up, "So Satoya, do you think it's respectful to our dear Hokage to paint all over their monument?" Naruto went very still when Iruka ended his sentence.

_Ain't that a loaded question._

I thoughtfully hummed before giving my answer, "Honestly, I don't think they'd care very much. Lord third might, but the others aren't around anymore so I don't see how it could bother them."

Iruka raised his brow. "Oh? But that wasn't the question. Wouldn't you say it dishonors their memory to vandalize their faces like that?" he challenged.

I set down my chopsticks and rested my head on my now free hands. "I don't know, maybe it does. However, isn't it also a dishonor to place them on such a high pedestal? In the end they were people like us and not beyond reproach. I'm sure they'd be happy to get treated as such."

Then again from all I'd heard about him, the second Hokage had a real big stick up his ass.

"Perhaps that's true," Iruka conceded and directed his view towards a once again busily slurping Naruto. "What do you say Naruto? Do the Hokage deserve to be put on a pedestal?"

Naruto glanced back at him and furrowed his brows. "The Hokage are the strongest ninja in our village, right?" Naruto rhetorically asked, eliciting a nod from Iruka. "They're the strongest, but that doesn't mean I can't catch up. Someday I'm gonna surpass them all. I'll be the strongest Hokage there ever was! I'll make the village recognize my strength!"

His declaration got a chuckle out of me, knowing that what he said was a gross understatement of his abilities.

_Not only the village, buddy. Everyone will acknowledge you._

I left my thoughts to myself and Naruto continued, putting his hands together and smilingly bowing to his teacher. "You'll see sensei, I'll get that forehead protector of yours tomorrow and then I'll continue onward to reach higher and higher!"

Iruka gave a good natured laugh in response. "I'll hand it to you personally once you graduate."

_Indeed you will. Just not in the way you expect…_

* * *

Sitting in class the next morning was a distinctly uncomfortable experience. Imagine all the nervous energy you have for an important exam, and multiply it by a factor of twenty from feeling that very same nervousness come from all the other people sitting in the hall with you.

It didn't help that the first three hours were spent going over what it meant to be a ninja and the importance of protecting the village instead of just getting the damn thing over with.

_Yeah yeah, will of fire this, fighting for what's right that, yada yada._

At least after today I wouldn't ever need to listen to village propaganda again. Or at least not nearly as much.

"Alright class, I'm sure you're all nervous about the graduation exam," Iruka finally announced. "For this year's exam you will have to perform the Clone Technique. Enter the next room when your name is called so we can evaluate you."

I felt a large spike of nervous energy beside me and could easily tell when it dawned on Naruto that the exam would be for his very worst skill. I tried to give him my most reassuring smile, but since I knew how poorly this would work out I doubted it looked convincing.

One by one we were called up in alphabetical order. Even though I knew that I had nothing to worry about I couldn't help but feel my heart rate steadily climbing in my chest. Between Shikamaru, Akuma, Yuu and Naruto, I'd be the first to get called up.

"Ibui Satoya, please proceed to the testing room!" Mizuki finally announced making me shoot up from my seat.

I nervously stepped past my friends and got smacked in the back by Akuma. "You look like you saw a ghost!" she said with a hint of humor. "Stop worrying so much and just do it. We all know you got this."

"Yeah, thanks," I mumbled, feeling slightly more sure of myself and walking down the steps with my back held straighter.

"Good luck," I heard Shikamaru say before I left the room.

Iruka and Mizuki were sitting in front of the blackboard, rows of headbands glinting on the table in front of them. They both gave me expectant smiles and Mizuki told me to proceed when I felt ready.

I took a deep breath and the chakra churned inside me. It felt a bit sluggish from my exhaustion earlier in the week, but responded to my call nonetheless. In fact, it responded far better than it had the week prior.

_The peace I've made with my past must have balanced out my spiritual energy._

I quickly pushed chakra through my hands and formed the required seals.

"Bunshin no Jutsu!"

To my left and right stood two perfect illusory copies of myself. Iruka and Mizuki both displayed approving smiles.

"Congratulations, you pass!" Iruka announced and clapped his hands together. Mizuki stood up from his seat to hand over one of the freshly minted Konoha headbands. My two clones and I let out a collective sigh of relief and I happily accepted my reward.

The teachers then proceeded to guide me to another waiting room with the other successful graduates.

The room wasn't anything special. Just another class that had been vacated for the first day of vacation. I glanced about, scanning its occupants, and noticed both Choji and Hinata talking to each other in the corner, among a few other randoms I'd barely interacted with. They all wore headbands.

With nothing better to do I walked up to the two of them. "Hey you two passed as well, huh?"

The both responded in the affirmative and Choji offered me a 'victory chip' from his packet, which I gladly accepted.

"Do you know if anyone's failed so far?" I asked, trying to estimate how many people would fail their Jonin sensei's test.

The chubby boy frowned deeply. "Arisai-san ran to the bathroom with tears in his eyes after he got out of the exam room," Choji replied with a somber tone. "I didn't see anything on his forehead."

_Ouch_. I didn't know much about the kid, but I remembered he never performed well under pressure. Something rather essential if you wanted to be a successful shinobi.

"I hope he doesn't let it pull him down," Hinata said even more quietly than usual. Before I got to formulate a response the door behind us opened and Kiba boisterously strolled into the room.

"Yo guys! Piece of cake, right?" he smugly said as he reached us, wrapping his arm around Hinata's waist. I could sense she was uncomfortable, but refrained from commenting. She'd have to build some backbone herself.

"I actually feel like this was _too_ easy, you know?" I stated, already knowing the reason why.

"Yeah, my sister actually told me about that," Kiba replied, rapidly deflating and letting go of Hinata, "She told me our future sensei would also give us some kind of test, but didn't tell me any more than that."

I thoughtfully hummed at his confirmation and the conversation shifted to other topics. Over time we were joined by Akuma, shortly followed by Shikamaru, who suggested that holding a conversation in the slowly filling room was rather 'troublesome' and because nobody stopped us from leaving we collectively moved outside.

I spent the next half hour or so cloud gazing with Shika while the others debated which fighting style and jutsu were superior and what they wanted to learn.

"Oh shut it! With your damn clan techniques of course you wouldn't do anything else!" Akuma snapped at the others, her curly hair flinging about as she wildly gesticulated, "I'm gonna beat you all up with my own Kenjutsu style, just you wait!"

Her conviction made me snort. She'd gotten a lot better at forging blades over the past six years, but that hardly meant she knew how to wield them. The academy really only taught the most basic of basics to its students. How our skills evolved from there would mostly come down to our Jonin teacher.

I glanced past the raving deviless and noticed a familiar face walking toward us. I quickly sprang to my feet and rushed over to the pridefully glowing Yuu.

"So, you actually made it, huh?" I said mock-derisively.

Yuu sneered. "It was never in question. Though I suppose the standards must have dropped to an unacceptable degree if scum like you managed to pass," he retorted, dramatically whipping his blue lengthy ponytail over his shoulder.

_With the way his fancy blue and white hues, he could probably give Haku a run for his money. Then again, his square jaw and defined chin make him look far too masculine to be mistaken for a woman._

I wanted to give some kind of witty comeback, but got cut off by Akuma zipping by me and fiercely glomping the target of my ire. "You did it!" she shouted gleefully while Yuu tried, and failed, to ply her off. "That means we're all ninja! We should go celebrate!"

_Celebrate? But I have plans this afternoon…_

Of course I couldn't really _tell_ them that. Maybe make up some excuse of being a little tired still from my chakra depletion?

"Actually," Yuu said with a strained voice, his muscles tensing against Akuma's as she stubbornly clung to him, "My parents mentioned they'd take us all out to lunch after today's exam. Your father is also invited, Akuma."

_Oh right, parents. I forgot people typically had those._

"Really?" Akuma stared up at her friend, easing her grip just slightly enough for him to break free, "I can hardly believe my dad would agree to that," she grumbled.

"Well, they _are _business partners," Yuu mentioned as he walked over to the others, "In fact, it's almost one o'clock, they're probably waiting for us right now."

_Darn, guess there's no getting out of this one._

There was a round of congratulations when we returned to the bigger group and we continued talking about random topics for the rest of our wait. At one point I felt Naruto's distinctly depressed chakra ebbing across our group but as I turned to look at him he had already disappeared out of view.

I ignored my urge to follow him to make sure he could hold his conversation with Mizuki undisturbed. I felt bad about it and though I already vowed to try and change a few things for the better, in this case letting the story play out was the smartest choice. Therefore once the final examination - that of Yamanaka Ino - was completed, I joined up with Akuma and Yuu to celebrate with their parents.

* * *

It took only a few minutes for me to realize I'd made a terrible mistake. Turns out those two's parents weren't exacty.. _happy _for their children. Well, I shouldn't say they weren't happy… but I could sense they didn't approve of their choice to join Konoha's ninja force.

It was completely understandable that parents wouldn't want their twelve year old children to join active military duty, so I could hardly blame them. However, they most certainly _were_ blaming _me_ for their children's career choice.

"I must say I'm quite… delighted that all the training you've done has paid off," Yuu's father stated in a tone that suggested the opposite. "I suppose this is the _friend_ who always stole you away on the weekends?" he asked, shifting his head to face me.

"Uhm, Ogura-sama," I gulped. _Civilians shouldn't be this scary!_ "I believe we have actually met a few times before."

Zoku regarded me in the same way one would regard the neighbour's cat after it took a dump on your front lawn. "Yes, I apologize for having forgotten your name."

"Oh darling, don't be so rude!" Tehomi, Yuu's mother, said lightly tapping her husband on the shoulder. "Your name was Ibui Satoya, wasn't it?"

Tehomi was the polar opposite of her husband in nearly every way. Short, extremely friendly and always supportive of her son no matter what he did. I had no clue how Zoku ever ended up with her.

"Yes, ma'am. I am he," I politely replied.

"At least you have manners," Zoku snidely remarked, "I can hardly believe you're the very same kid who keeps pranking my business partners with the little blonde devil."

"Don't let his polite demeanor fool ya, Ogura-san," Gotsu chortled, "You should see him cussing up a storm after hammering his thumb. Hah!"

Akuma facepalmed beside me as any goodwill I'd built up disappeared in a flash.

_Yup, coming here was definitely a mistake._

Thankfully both Akuma and Yuu were just as aware of the awkward atmosphere as I was and the _celebration _\- read: interrogation - was cut mercifully short. Their parents' disdain also provided a perfect excuse for me to duck out of sight for the rest of the afternoon. No doubt they'd have something more private planned for the rest of the day.

_Time to find our dear mister protagonist._

* * *

After a good hour of scouting the forests of Konoha and not sensing the slightest whiff of Naruto's massive chakra, I concluded he must not have yet stolen the forbidden scroll. No alarm had been sounded either. I did not want to risk running into him at the apartment, or anywhere else really.

With nothing else to do, I figured it could do no harm to go train for a bit. I did my usual set of chakra assisted and unassisted strength and endurance training before turning to our most basic ninjutsu. My favorite academy technique had to be the Shunshin. Moving at such a high speed was simply exhilarating, even if it was somewhat chakra intensive.

_Actually before wasting all my energy, shouldn't I try using the perfect transformation again?_

Last time I used it I'd been almost completely spent from constantly attempting and failing its activation. I didn't push my reserves nonstop for an entire afternoon this time, so I might actually be able to test out a few things before blacking out.

But who or what should I transform myself into? I could always go for the standard skimpy-clothed lady look… but no, I wouldn't let myself misuse the ability in such a way. At least not for now. "Heh," I snorted.

_Why not go with the classic and turn myself into a shuriken?_

Turning into a functional weapon could be extremely useful in our Jonin test. Even if it wasn't the bell test, I highly doubted there would be no combat.

_Okay, a shuriken. Maybe something bigger actually. Fuma shuriken?_

That would have to do, even if it was a straight up copy of Naruto's idea when he faced off against Zabuza.

"Here goes nothing," I said to myself, forming the seals and channeling my chakra. I kept a vivid picture in my mind as I began forming the seals, but could tell that it wouldn't work out. Compressing myself down and altering my shape into something inorganic needed more focus.

_Right right. Less thinking and more feeling._

I built up the chakra network around me just like last time. As I went through the motions I could sense the structure collapsing inward, intertwining with my natural one in an uncomfortably intimate way. I could feel when two paths got superimposed and cancelled each other out. And then...

A puff of chakra vapor surrounded me as I fell to the ground. There were no organs for me to sense anything with, and yet I somehow remained aware of my surroundings. In fact, without the distractions of a physical body I was overcome by a serene sort of calm. The natural energies ebbing off the plants, the trees, the ground and the very air was lulling me into a meditative trance.

The aches and pains from my earlier strength training had disappeared. The onset of teenage hormones no longer held sway over my thoughts. Only my soul remained; Enveloped by the soothing embrace of nature.

_This is actually quite peaceful. _

Regrettably, the technique didn't just take a bunch of chakra to activate. Remaining in the altered form for an extended period was also quite rapidly draining my reserves. I dispelled the transformation before it could suck me dry.

_Alright, going by feel I could probably keep it running around half an hour before I black out. _

Not to brag, of course; My reserves were nothing more than a bucket compared to Naruto's tub, but that still meant I was a far closer contender than the majority of people. So half an hour was quite short, all things considered.

_Starting my 'magic' training early definitely paid off._

In any case, while sure, transforming into inanimate objects was a good trick for combat, it was far too costly for use in infiltration. If the standard Henge was any indicator, then transforming into something similar to your original body shouldn't be nearly as chakra intensive.

I once again began shaping my chakra when I realized I had no way to even confirm how realistic my transformation seemed. Not just that, I had to keep this ability a secret in case I ever wanted to infiltrate Konoha itself, so getting caught now would be problematic.

_Guess I'll have to do a personal evaluation after learning the shadow clone._

I opted to finish drilling myself and then continue scouting around in case Naruto ever decided to show up.

* * *

Seven. Fucking. Hours.

That's how long it took for them to sound the alarm, and I know for a darn _fact_ that Naruto stole the scroll a lot earlier than that because I've _literally _been watching him for the past two.

_Unbelievable. A scroll of forbidden jutsu, and they take this long to respond._

Worst part is that Naruto kept looking over his shoulder as if he knew I was nearby! I just wanted to catch a glimpse darnit!

_Calm down, Satoya. You're here to witness events, nothing more._

If I really wanted to I could always try stealing the scroll myself at some point. If Naruto could manage as a kid, then why not me? Then again they'll probably move the darn thing somewhere more secure.

_Dammit Naruto, why did you have to make everything so much harder on me?_

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" shouted the kid in question. I looked down from my perch on the tree branch and could see him among a small group of doppelgangers. The mad lad had actually done it. Just in time too, since Iruka was due to show up quite soon.

"YEAH I DID IT! NARUTO UZUMAKI'S GONNA BE THE BEST; BELIEVE IT!" cheered the future Hokage in tandem with his clones. The kid then quickly dispelled his copies and sat down to bury his face back in the scroll.

_What's he up to? Trying to learn the edo-tensei next?_

Just imagine a kid Naruto casually resurrecting the fourth Hokage for one of his earlier battles. That made me chuckle a bit. I let go of my idle thoughts and stared back at him. Honestly, I didn't understand why the Shadow Clone was even forbidden. It seemed like every single ninja and their mother knew the ability. There must be something-

"ALRIGHT!" shouted the kid as he dropped the scroll and jumped back on his feet. "Let's do this!"

Naruto flooded the area with a palpably huge amount of his chakra and goosebumps spread out across my skin.

What is he-

"Tajū-"

Realization dawned in an instant and without a second thought I channeled my chakra and shaped seals at a rate far surpassing any I'd managed before.

"Henge!"

-Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

The clearing was enveloped in smoke and clones stood all over the place, some of them even on the branch directly underneath mine. They didn't spare my transformed body a second glance, even though it was a standard henge. I highly doubted Naruto was at the lookout for any infiltrators at the moment since all his clones were busily congratulating each other and happily chuckling.

Once again, he dispelled the mass of copies and slumped down onto the ground with a satisfied grin, breathing quite heavily. However, before he or I could relax I sensed the arrival of a certain someone.

"I found you, you little troublemaker!" grumbled Iruka, thinly veiling his anger.

"It's the nosebleeder!" Naruto shouted back.

I honestly didn't bother listening much further, since I had to focus on sneaking further away without arousing suspicion. If Iruka showed up, Mizuki was probably close behind. In fact, I could sense his unrestrained aura of malice just a bit further up.

_And there go the Kunai. _

Yup. It sure seemed like this will go just as planned. At least I hadn't screwed up the timeline beyond repair.

_Ouch Iruka, why'd you take those for Naruto? The kid's got a healing factor!_

That actually looks kinda dangerous. Will Iruka really be okay? I know for sure he isn't supposed to die here…

"Naruto! Don't give him the scroll no matter what!" shouted Iruka, gasping in pain, "It's filled to the brim with dangerous forbidden Techniques! Mizuki only used you to get his hands on them."

A look of betrayal came over the poor boy's face as Mizuki chuckled evilly on the tree above them.

"Naruto, let me tell you something," the blue-haired Teacher taunted, "You don't deserve this scroll. You don't deserve to be taught anything in the first place. I'll tell you the truth."

Iruka's eyes widened as he shouted out, "NO, DON'T!"

He couldn't stop him, pinned to the tree trunk as he was. Mizuki continued his speech unimpeded.

"Twelve years ago, when the Kyuubi attacked our village. When it destroyed our homes and killed our fellow people, you know what else happened that night?"

"W-What?" Naruto asked, overcome with a sense of dreadful foreboding. "Tell me what happened!"

"Don't listen to him, Naruto!" yelled Iruka in vain.

"The demon fox was sealed, Naruto. You already know this," continued Mizuki.

"STOP!" barked Iruka.

"After the incident a new rule was instated, boy. A secret of that night, that nobody was to reveal, especially not to you," Mizuki said, pausing his explanation to let out an unhinged laugh.

"What rule?" Naruto asked, no pleaded. The boy looked ghastly. It didn't take a lot to realize the date of the attack coincided with the day of his birth.

"The secret that you _are_ the nine tailed demon fox!"

"NO!" Iruka helplessly yelped, pulling the Kunai from his shoulder and slowly freeing himself from the tree.

"The Hokage you admire so much is the very same person who sealed you! Didn't you find it odd how everyone looked at you with such disdain?"

"YOU'RE LYING!" Naruto indignantly protested, "NONE OF MY FRIENDS LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!"

Naruto's outburst just made Mizuki laugh harder. _Jeez man we get it; you're a douchebag. Get it over it will ya? _

"You really think they'll see you as a friend once they find out the truth!?" the traitor hissed.

"Satoya, Kiba… everyone. They'd never-"

"YOU IDIOT!" Mizuki interrupted, unclasping the fuma shuriken from his back holster, "You think Satoya will still be friends with you when he finds out _you _killed his parents? Just like you killed Iruka's parents too!"

Iruka looked ready to defend him but was cut off by Mizuki pinning him with another Kunai. "I have nothing against you Iruka," the deranged man spoke, "So stay out of this for your own good."

Iruka only groaned in pain as response.

"Now, Naruto, since you won't hand it over willingly, why don't I do the village a favor?" Mizuki said as he began rapidly spinning the shuriken in his hands. Naruto was trembling in what looked like a mix of fear and anger as Mizuki finished by saying, "I'm sure Satoya-kun will thank me for avenging his parents when I bring him the news."

Naruto instantly ceased his movement; The information too much for him to handle. His face froze up in an emotionless mask as tears trickled down his cheek.

_This isn't right…_

Iruka was out of commission and it looked like Naruto wasn't going to put up a fight. It couldn't be right. This isn't how it was supposed to be!

"DIE!" Mizuki shouted and tossed the spinning death. Time froze and for a moment my mind went completely blank. When I returned to awareness I felt a searing pain in my back.

"Why didn't you dodge, dumbass?" I wheezed as blood ran down my body. Why did I have to go and do this?

"S-Satoya?" Naruto asked, blinking up at me with wide eyes. "Why?"

What could I tell him? I'm from the future and have to protect you? The pain made it rather hard to come up with anything better to be honest.

"Naruto.." I coughed, "Don't listen to that bastard. I don't care about my parents; I never knew them anyway. And I couldn't care less if you're the reincarnation of some big mean fox!" I paused to take a shallow breath, "I _know_ you, and you're no monster! You're my closest friend."

I could see tears welling up in his eyes and I added, "Us orphans need to stick together, don't we?"

I tried to smile reassuringly when my legs buckled and I collapsed atop him. Even with chakra reinforcement, that thrown weapon really did a number on me. Mizuki dropped off his perch to land in front of us.

"Ibui-kun, I really didn't want to do this you know?" my ex-teacher growled. "You leave me no choice."

The next shuriken flew towards me before I could even blink, but got slammed to the side by our trusty sensei. "That's enough, Mizuki," Iruka spoke coldly, "He isn't some demon, he's Uzumaki Naruto, one of my excellent students! I won't let you harm these two kids, no matter how bratty they might act at times."

Mizuki glared at him as he pulled out two Kunai. Iruka did the same. They circled each other warily. The atmosphere electric. One step, two steps, and they were upon one another.

Mizuki flashed his knife forwards. Iruka dodged by a hair. Iruka followed up with a counter. Mizuki parried. Metal sparked as their weapons collided.

Mizuki grinned. "Feeling sluggish, Iruka?"

Sensei's leg kicked out and forced Mizuki back. The traitor quickly regained his footing only to willingly drop to the floor as his adversary's Kunai soared past him.

Rolling to the side, Mizuki picked up his discarded fuma shuriken. He then pulled it in front of his chest just in time to block another strike. Iruka kept his knife firmly in hand and kept pushing.

Mizuki growled and shoved Iruka back. Our teacher put up little resistance and made Mizuki overextend. Punishment came swift as Iruka slashed along his assailants chest and dashed out of striking distance, panting heavily.

_He can't win this, he's lost too much blood and barely has any gear._

"Iruka.. that fucking hurt!" Mizuki hissed, glaring at the bloodied man. Naruto shifted out from underneath me and sprinted towards our would-be killer just as he wound up for another throw. Mizuki must have disregarded him completely as a threat, because Naruto ramming into him from the side caught the man completely by surprise.

"Don't you dare hurt Iruka-sensei!" the future savior of mankind threatened. "Or I'll kill you!"

"Kill me? Pah!" Mizuki laughed, "Shut up, demon! I'll kill you in one shot!"

"Naruto, stop! I got this," Iruka assuringly said, resting his hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"No, Sensei. This time I'll protect my friends!" Naruto answered as he placed the large scroll on the ground beside him. "I'll show you that I got what it takes to graduate."

Mizuki merely stared in bemusement. So certain of his victory that he didn't bother closing the distance right away.

"Tajū Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Suddenly the clearing was filled to the brim with a horde of orange ninja. They were all shouting various insults and taunts at a suddenly very nervous looking Mizuki.

"Hey," I heard a clone say beside me as he picked me up off the ground, "I'll go take you to the hospital."

_Oh right. I'm kinda dying here aren't I?_

"He-ahck," I tried to laugh only to cough up blood, "Thanks."

I was confident Naruto had the rest well in hand.


	10. The not-Bell Test

**Chapter 10: The not-Bell Test**

Today was the day we'd finally get to know our new sensei. It was a good thing that medical techniques were so apt at healing what would otherwise be life threatening injuries in such a short time. It meant I was combat ready for our team assignments.

Kawasaki was not amused to see me again so soon. At least he didn't shout at me for not taking care of myself this time. Injuring yourself from saving your comrades was more acceptable than doing so while training in his book.

_It frickin sucks that my last day as an official child was spent in the hospital though..._

In any case, nothing I could do about that now except focus on the positives. Like how amusing it was to witness all my fellow graduates see Naruto enter the classroom with his headband proudly displayed.

"What, why are _you _here!?" shouted a group of extras.

_Heh, those suckers won't even make it on a team._

I sat close to the stairs just in case something like this happened. Scooting my chair backwards so I could get up and defend my favorite knucklehead, I incidentally smacked it into someone behind me, eliciting a slight grunt of pain.

I gulped hard when I recognized who it was, "Oh, sorry Sasuke."

The moody bastard gave me a bored stare, not making any move to allow me to move past him. I could sense how his agitation shifted into contemplation and then… humor?

"Uhm, mind if I walk by?" I asked, slightly nervous what kind of revenge the last Uchiha would find funny. Sasuke merely glanced down at this freshly injured knee and then back to me. The barest hint of a smirk painted his lips.

"What're you grinning about?" I asked, a bit of annoyance leaking into my tone.

"Oh nothing… I just found it amusing how you can only land a hit against me on accident," the cheeky brat replied.

Before I could muster any comeback, Naruto walked up and spun Sasuke around to face him.

"Bastard, don't say that to him! Satoya's a way better shinobi than you'll ever be!", he said with a comically exaggerated amount of righteous anger.

_Aw man come on, I was supposed to be defending you! Now you're putting way too much pressure on me!_

"Ehh, you don't have to say that, Naruto," I said with a nervous chuckle, trying to defuse the situation before the slowly amassing fangirls could get involved.

"Hah, as if! Sasuke-kun can beat both of you up at the same time!" shouted one of said fangirls.

"Oh yeah!? I learnt an awesome new Jutsu!" retorted the blondling, "There's no way I'll lose against him now!"

_Stop digging yourself deeper, dammit!_

Seems that even having gotten more attention when growing up wasn't enough to keep those two from constantly fighting. _Destiny, I guess._

I couldn't see Sasuke's face, but I could tell he was seething with anger as he challengingly walked closer to the snarling Naruto. The stars seemed to align perfectly so that Kiba, who was running down the steps after Akamaru, bumped into Naruto from behind and-

_Oh yeah, something like this did happen, didn't it?_

I wasn't sure whether I should be pleased, or distraught that somehow this event was fated to happen despite my existence. At least the surrounding crowd was of one mind. A wave of killing intent was projected onto Naruto moments after his shared kiss.

"ARGH, MY MOUTH IS ROTTING!" shouted Naruto in the classically over the top fashion of his.

"Guess it's time for me to bail!" I announced in a comical voice and leapt over the row of desks, shortly before the swarm of fangirls could surround my poor friend.

_Sorry buddy, you brought this upon yourself._

* * *

By the time the crowd of fans was finished with him, Naruto was covered in a cartoonish number of bruises. I would have stepped in, but there was a truly concerning amount of killing intent focused on the poor lad, and I didn't want to risk it without a Jinchuuriki constitution. I already landed in the hospital from saving his ass a scant few days ago after all.

At least Naruto got a bit of vindication when Sasuke, of all people, ratted the crowd out to Iruka after the man had questioned what happened to his poor student.

After chewing the bullies out, Iruka veered into another one of his superfluous speeches.

_Like come on, doesn't everyone already know about three-man squads and jonin senseis? _

I only lent him half an ear in case he announced anything unexpected, but it turned out to be for naught.

"We tried to balance each team's strength," Iruka said, finally getting to the point after spending way too much time rehashing our pre-graduation speech.

_Total horseshit. The only team that makes the slightest amount of sense for would be team 7._

If his statement had any amount of truth to it, the teams would have to be different now than they had been originally. Which, if the first four groups of no-name teams were any indication, they were not.

"Team five, Ibui Satoya, Nakao Akuma and Ogura Yuu."

None of us exploded into cheers, but I could see Yuu's shoulders relaxing and Akuma was trying to cover up her wide smile with her hand. I wasn't exactly surprised about the result, but definitely felt a bit of relief hearing it spoken aloud. It would have been idiotic to break up three students who already practiced together every weekend after all.

"Team Seven, Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke-"

"YEAH!" Sakura squealed in delight.

"- and Uzumaki Naruto," Iruka finished, making both Sasuke and Naruto thunk their heads onto the table in despair.

_Wait, does Naruto not have a crush on Sakura this time? How the hell did I not notice that!? Oh well, it shouldn't change too much for the worse, right? _

Just like team 7, the rest of the announcements went exactly as expected. By the end of the it we were told to each enter a designated classroom in the early afternoon, so we could have an introduction with our future team leaders.

I was already tense with anticipation on who my future trainer would be.

* * *

_This has gotten out of hand..._

It had been such a benign plan. One last feast before we all go our separate ways. An impromptu graduation celebration which amounted to me dragging everyone I halfway like to a delightful picnic on the grassy hills near the Academy.

Originally, I only wanted Naruto, Akuma, Yuu, Shikamaru, Choji and, for Naruto's benefit, Kiba to come along. It.. got a little out of hand. Since 2 out of three from their team were already there, Choji pulled Ino along too. This in turn inspired Kiba to grab _his_ team as well.

Even Naruto tried to invite Sasuke and Sakura just not to be the odd one out. Thank god that didn't come to pass.

"It's so unfair!" the bratty ball of sunshine grumbled with a comical form, "You all get to stay among friends, while I get that bastard showoff and his know-it-all fangirl!"

_Oh hey, he picked up that word from me. I couldn't be prouder._

"It's perfectly logical," Shino responds, "Why, you ask? Because those two are the top scorers in our class, while you barely managed to pass thanks to special circumstances."

Naruto wasn't sure how to respond to that while he eyed the others present. It was hard to make a case that teams _weren't_ based on strength disparity, because nobody wanted to be told they're weaker students than others.

"As if!" Kiba scoffed, "It's obviously just an excuse. There's no way your dads didn't set it up so you'd get put on the same team." He gestured to the Ino-Shika-Cho trio to back up his last statement.

_Clever boy._

Shikamaru spoke up, "What I would personally like to know, is how you even managed to graduate in the first place. What were the special circumstances Shino mentioned?"

That was a good point, how'd Shino even hear about that?

"Well..." Naruto started, "I already told Kiba on the weekend, and Satoya was there when it happened."

Kiba grinned in delight as the only one who'd been told of the technique's specifics.

I feigned surprise, "Oh, so Iruka allowed you to pass thanks to that?"

"Yeah! You saw my amazing clone technique. There's no way he'd fail me after that, ya know?" Naruto answered.

His vague response only served to make everyone else at the gathering even more curious. "What kinda _super amazing_ technique was it?" Ino asked, rolling her eyes.

"Not gonna tell you!" Naruto teased, sticking his tongue out.

"It's the Kage Bunshin," I say. I wasn't willing to put up with this dancing around the question for so long.

"Satoyaaa," he whined, "You're no fun!"

"Yeah, well I want to figure out more about that jutsu myself, so fess up, buddy!"

"Iruka sensei told me it was an A-rank technique!" he gleefully gloated, "Pretty amazing, huh?"

"Ugh, just tell us what it does already!" Akuma demanded, "It's gotta be cooler than the academy clones, right?"

Naruto bathed in his audience's rapt attention and began to fervently explain. None of the information he gave was anything new to me, and honestly, without being aware of the technique's memory transfer aspect, the clones didn't seem too great.

At least until Naruto began insisting he could summon one thousand of them. He was immediately accused of dramatically exaggerating, which he responded to by crossing his fingers in a very recognizable symbol.

Naturally, I smacked his hands apart and called him a doofus for trying to cast that. To make up for it, I retold the story of how he bravely rescued Iruka and myself from the traitorous Mizuki totally crushing him up with his horde of copies. I conveniently left out the bit about him having stolen a scroll of forbidden techniques while I was at it.

_You better remember this when I ask you to teach me again!_

The rest of our lunch break went by quite swimmingly if I do say so myself. I'd never admit it out loud, but those scamps had really grown on me over the years and I wouldn't trade these moments of companionship for the world.

* * *

My first impression of our teacher was a little underwhelming. Sure I didn't really expect the _best_ to come meet us, but… the bags under his eyes and pale complexion did not raise my confidence by much.

He eyed us three, coughing lightly as we stared right back at him. "So, you guys are my team," he half asked half stated. "Why don't we start with introductions. My name is Hayate Gekko. I'm a tobuketsu jonin and specialize in swordsmanship and reconnaissance."

I could sense the others apprehension give way to excitement as soon as Akuma and Yuu heard about our teacher's forte. It seemed like more thought went into the selection than I had anticipated at first.

_Why in the world was Kurenai selected for a tracking team then?_

Even so, none of us chose to speak up, prompting Hayate to continue, "Do you guys want me to say more? Do you have anything to add?"

He looked rather calm when he asked that, but it was clear the man had no idea what to do with his students. I raised my hand.

"Yes," Hayate glanced at his clipboard, "Ibui-san?"

_Dude I'm cringing._

"First off, my name is Ibui Satoya. I'd prefer to be called by my first name," I said, "My hobbies are drawing manga, training and cooking. I dislike… people betraying my trust. And I dream to retire with a loving family in the future. Why did you decide to become a sensei, Gekko-san?"

The jonin mentally noted my personal information and answered, "I applied as a jonin instructor so I can practice dealing with kids." The slightest blush tinged his cheeks, "As for my likes… I can't come up with anything I love more than my girlfriend."

His lovestruck comment made me snort, quickly wiping the man's caring expression off his face.

_Darn, I shouldn't antagonize him._

Yuu must have noticed the awkwardness and quickly stepped in with and introduction of his own. "My name is Ogura Yuu and you may name me however you wish. I like fashionable clothes, shopping for interesting wares and spending time with my friends. I dislike stupid people, seeing my friends get injured, and my friends making stupid decisions that get them injured."

_Ouch, looks like that was directed at me. _

"My dream is to travel the world and uncovering unforeseen sights and treasures," Yuu concluded.

Akuma barely waited a second before starting her own introduction. "Nakao Akuma. I like forging, fighting and debating. I dislike stupid teammates who act haughty just to annoy me and people telling me how to live my life. I'll be the greatest Swordmaster in the five nations and forge blades to rival the seven swordsmen of the mist!"

_Damn this just confirmed it. She really is the Naruto of our group._

Which meant judging by the scale of our dreams… _Oh god, I really am the Sakura of our squad._

I'd accept that truth over my cold dead body.

Hayate coughed to get our attention, "Okay, now that that's out of the way, meet me at training ground three."

Hayate had a slight smirk on his face after he said that. Before I could question why, the sickly-looking man proceeded to shunshin out of sight.

* * *

"As you may have already guessed, the academy exam isn't truly all it takes to be accepted as a genin of Konoha. Frankly, after the wars we don't have the manpower to waste so many high ranking ninja even if we wanted to," Hayate explained, "In fact, it is expected that only 3 out of nine teams pass this follow-up test."

I looked him straight in the eyes as I asked the question that had been nagging the back of my mind this whole semester, "How is that possibly fair? If I recall correctly, three out of nine teams have future clan heirs in them. By all accounts, you might as well fail us right now."

Yuu furrowed his brows in contemplation, the wrinkles deepening when he concluded the same. Akuma only glared at me as if it were somehow my fault.

"You would be correct in your assumption, Satoya-san. However, three teams is not truly a fixed value, merely expected. To be honest, it's a known fact that many civilian families don't have the same training options as the larger clans."

_Yeah and the unspoken part is that those same clans would throw a hissy fit if their special kids didn't pass._

"Well then bring it on, sensei!" Akuma exclaimed, "Whaddya want us to do to accept us as your team?"

In response he flashed us a challenging grin and said only, "You have one hour. Capture me if you can," before disappearing in a puff of chakra smoke.

_Shadow clone, huh? Guess every Konoha jonin and their mother knows that one…_

The other two were a bit more befuddled than me. "Sato-kun, isn't this the technique that Naruto mentioned?"

"The very same," I responded.

"Wasn't it forbidden?" asked Akuma with a skeptically raised brow.

"Well, the variant he used summoned hundreds of clones," I explained, "As I understand it, expending so much chakra could potentially kill the caster."

"Huh, I guess it makes sense," she said, frowning. "Anyway, what in the heck are we supposed to do now?"

What indeed. Hayate could be anywhere, though I found the forest right next to us was the most likely contender. Unless the guy was ordered to give us an impossible test…

_Shit, Hiruzen better not have!_

"Okay you two, we need a plan. He won't make it easy for us, but I doubt he'll make it impossible," I explained, already noticing the gears in Yuu's eyes as the beginnings of a plan brewed in his mind.

"You two must have noticed it too," he cryptically said, "our teacher's _issue. _It is most fortunate that we weren't forbidden from leaving the training grounds."

_What is he… __**oh.**_

"How devious," I respond, "I should have just the thing back at my place."

"Yeah that sounds great and all," Akuma added, "but even abusing his obvious flaw, how are we gonna find him in the first place? That forest is huge!"

Huge was an overstatement. Then again, everything seemed small when compared to Hashirama's summoned monstrosities. Finding Hayate, a jonin whose specialty was reconnaissance - ergo infiltration - was no easy feat. I doubted my chakra sense would be of much help against him at range.

"What if we don't have to find him?" I question, "Why don't we just bait him out of hiding?"

"How the heck are we gonna bait him out? Threaten his girlfriend?" Akuma challenged.

"Not quite," I replied, "But you're right about giving him a scare."

Yuu sneered, getting fed up with my know-it-all act, "And how would we scare him? I highly doubt that we can come up with something that he'd fear enough to override his caution."

"Don't be so sceptic," I cajoled, "There's something that every teacher fears. Probably every adult who's had to look after kids, actually."

Perhaps I was being a bit too abrasive. From a kid's point of view, you rarely gave these things much consideration.

"Akuma, what would bring your father into the room more quickly than anything?" I asked, trying to lead their thoughts in a certain direction.

"Uh, I guess if he heard kissing noises?" came her unthinking reply. Her cheeks flushed pink moments after what she'd spoken registered in her mind. "Uhh, I mean-"

"Alright no, stop," I interrupted. "I'll just go out and say it before we delve any further into that rabbit hole. We need to make him believe we're in danger."

"And how do we do that?" asked Yuu, "We can't just spar, it'd be too obvious. Going at each other with killing intent might get him to step in, but I find it dubious to imagine passing his test that way."

"Well then; How about I let you in on my dazzlingly brilliant idea?" I announced.

It was time to reveal my newest ability.

* * *

**Hayate Gekko**

The kids were back. At first, he believed they'd gone off in search of him. That thought was quickly discarded as soon as he rationalized, they must have been intelligent enough to figure out he wouldn't give them an impossible task.

That only left the question of what the _real_ reason for their absence had been. Did they try and find colleagues to question about his weaknesses? No, they wouldn't get much information out of his fellow jonin. The most obvious reason was that they must have gotten some extra equipment.

"Man, where the heck is Satoya!?", shouted the curly-haired kid, Akuma if he recalled, "He's the one who told us to meet back here by now! We need him to-"

Her friend shushed the bratty kid before she could continue babbling about their plans. At least one of them was covert. Though Hayate still doubted they'd manage to pass, especially if their friend didn't show up soon.

"We'll just have to start setting up without him and hope he shows up soon," mumbled Yuu. Hayate mentally subtracted a few points from their score. Starting a mission despite a handicap would be dangerous in active duty.

Then again, they knew he wouldn't hurt them, just like he knew it was not fair to assume they'd take risky missions if they were less aware.

_Let's see what they come up with. They've had forty minutes to plan after all._

Akuma went off into the forest and wrote something on a small piece of parchment, while Yuu followed close behind her. Eventually she raised up one of her fingers in a strange hand sign, likely a coded message they came up with earlier. She must have noticed something.

_Smart. They invented something I can't read. _

Of course, it wasn't easy to find him, since he'd been actively using the Transparent Escape Technique, turning him nigh invisible. However, Hayate had made sure to leave some rather obvious hints to his passing. A few snapped twigs, footprints, even a few small drops of blood.

Even so, he wouldn't make things _too_ easy on them. The test was meant to examine teamwork and strategy. He'd get out of just enough traps to see if proper contingencies were in place, before letting himself get captured.

Of course, if the third lad never showed, they'd automatically fail the teamwork portion.

_Shame_.

The kids followed his trail a bit further, Akuma still scribbling down a few things, before suddenly they froze. Another signal, and Yuu started laying traps in a perimeter around a location decidedly _not_ where Hayate was hiding. He quickly reevaluated the measure of his team's capability.

As the minutes went by, Hayate became more and more baffled. Yes, that Yuu kid was quite creative with his wire. Everything from launching kunai, to sinkholes, to cutting branches to they'd snap when you tried to hop on them. But that didn't change the fact that they were in all the wrong places!

He'd already determined that the Akuma girl must have some kind of scouting ability, as she dutifully led her companion around a specific spot, making sure they couldn't get spotted. Still, whatever she noticed had been a total false alarm.

He had no choice. Originally, he'd vowed not to use his chakra-enhanced hearing to make it a bit harder on himself, but Hayate simply had to know what in the world those two were planning.

"Are you sure we haven't been noticed?" whispered Yuu to his colleague. "He was supposed to be a scouting expert."

"_Yes,_ I'm sure!" she hissed back, "We've never gotten into line of sight, and he hasn't moved from his spot! If he has some kind of sensing ability, then he's not using it."

At least her assessment was half correct. Not that he'd ever engage them unless they were about to spring their trap.

"If you say so," Yuu replied with a shrug, "My preparations are nearly complete anyway."

The girl gave him a thumbs up, and stored away her writing supplies. Yuu's frown only deepened.

"I don't think we can do this without Satoya," he grumbled, "Where is that treacherous bastard, anyway?"

"Probably getting chewed out for some prank of his," Akuma growled, drawing a short blade from the holster at her side, "Just typical that he'd miss our test."

She then wandered across to the other side of their encirclement, silently counting down.

_They are about to be very disappointed._

They charged.

Then everything went to hell. Yuu flung a multitude of kunai in the direction of an inert shrub. They had explosive tags attached to them and promptly blew up and conjured a spectacular ball of flame. Hayate sighed, but just then his breath caught in his throat.

A silhouette. Something jumped out from the shrub. No, not something. _Someone._

Said someone hopped from the brush and straight into a web of ninja wire. Reacting in just the last second, the man unsheathed his lengthy blade and sliced the wire apart. The attack looked clumsy. Hayate quickly determined whoever it was had little experience in swordsmanship.

As the smoke cleared, Hayate sharpened his eyes as he heard the distinctly male voice hack out a dry laugh, "You're going to have to try a little harder."

That man was...

_Me? No. That can't be, it must be a henge! Of course, it is. That's where the third teammate went, they're trying to bait me out."_

"You must realize I let you find me, right?" the transformed Satoya questioned.

Akuma snarled, "Then you're an idiot for giving us so long to prepare!" She then shot up from the ground and ferociously slashed at her friend. It would never land against someone of Hayate's caliber. A freshly graduated genin on the other hand...

_That looks dangerous. She's overselling her act. _

Her sword slashed in a wide arc. Satoya hopped away shortly before his previous perch got sliced apart. Akuma growled as she thudded to the ground beneath. More traps went off and Kunai flung straight towards Satoya, who swiftly ducked out of the way.

Another slash from the side, barely parried by his sword. A short exchange that highlighted the difference in their skill. She pressed on with poise, each movement flowing into the next. It was quite impressive for an academy student.

Under normal circumstances the boy's superior strength may have allowed him to win, but unused to the length and weight of his weapon he barely managed to stand his ground. Hayate was truthfully surprised he had not yet taken a hit.

_No, of course the attacks aren't connecting. _

They _couldn't _connect, else the transformation would go up in smoke. Still, had he been unaware of the trickery at play, perhaps the play-fight could have convinced him.

"What's wrong, sensei?" Akuma taunted, "I thought you were supposed to be a blademaster."

"I'm going easy on you," Satoya huffed, "These things are quite sharp after all. I wouldn't want to hurt you."

Akuma seemed to take that as a challenge, striking her opponents blade with more and more force. She eventually managed to disarm her foe when he was distracted by Yuu's ranged attack from behind.

Akuma followed up with a quick stab at his torso. A foot extended outward, knocking the blade to the side. A split second later Satoya's fist connected with his friend's jaw, knocking her back.

He quickly picked up his fallen sword and ran up to his prone teammate. The sword stabbed downwards and Hayate was moments from intervening when he heard a loud clap of force. Satoya had barely caught someone's vicious melee strike in his hand. The fist was attached to a scowling raven-haired boy.

"Satoya you bastard; About time you showed up!" shouted Akuma, clenching her sword and rising form the floor. Hayate's thoughts went wild as soon as she uttered those words.

Their third teammate had disappeared into the shadows earlier, so the newly arrived Satoya must have actually been Yuu. The spectacle was more layered than he expected, he had to give them that.

Mere moments later a swarm of kunai soared at the supposed Satoya from behind. Satoya then threw Yuu at the projectiles for defense, forcing the boy to deflect them as best he could.

"Shit, Yuu watch what you're doing!" Satoya shouted into the trees. A few of the weapons had drawn blood, and yet the boy was conspicuously _not_ reverted back into Yuu.

"Sorry!" Yuu replied from above, stepping into the light, "You deserve it for showing up so late!"

_That_ statement got Yuu a kunai flung at his shoulder as Satoya bit out a "Fuck you!"

"Shit! Don't hurt your own teammate!" Yuu yelped.

_Wait… _

The preteens encircled their opponent. Akuma with her bruised chin, Satoya with a sliced-up torso and Yuu with a gash on his shoulder. Excluding the unknown forth, they were all injured.

"Okay kids, three on one hardly seems fair now, does it?" the unknown chortled.

"Hey, you're the one who gave us the test!" Akuma bit back.

The fourth frowned for a moment as he answered, "That I did. Honestly I was wondering when you'd finally team up."

Hayate pulsed his chakra to dispel any genjutsu and simultaneously probe the surroundings. Four chakra signatures. No illusion. Had one of them learnt the shadow clone technique? He recalled that some student had stolen the forbidden scroll a few days ago…

The three attacked in tandem. Yuu staying at range while the other two converged from opposite sides. Were he truly Hayate, the clone may have been able to defend himself. As it stood the only option was to jump up in panic.

He landed on a branch only for it to snap apart below his feet. The clone had to kick off the tree to avoid a pit trap below, stumbling straight over a tripwire.

Clearly this was not part of their plan, made evident by the sound of an explosion followed by pieces of shrapnel piercing the boy. Smoke filled the area as the clone dispelled.

Only he didn't. Someone was still there. Hayate's entire body tensed. That wasn't a kid.

"Fuck! You brat!", barked the unknown shinobi, "You really went all out in this place, huh? I shouldn't have stayed still so long."

Not knowing how to respond, all three just stared at the bloodied man with their mouths agape.

"Wait, you were in a Henge this whole time?" Satoya asked in evident shock.

The man's face momentarily twitched in confusion, before he smiled wide. "Always look underneath the underneath," he responded with a chuckle, "I would have preferred to keep this a secret until the end, but what'll ya do." The stranger shrugged halfheartedly.

Hayate's heart pounded. Who was this man? He wore a Konoha hitai-ate and had the correct uniform, but didn't resemble and Shinobi Hayate knew.

"So, do we pass?" Akuma asked in a hopeful voice.

Their 'teacher' gave a friendly smile. "You haven't caught me, but honestly even landing a hit like that, I'd say your display of teamwork was more than adequate," he responded, much to the genin's delight. "Why don't I invite you out to a celebratory dinner?"

Star's shone in the three friends' eyes as they collectively whooped in the affirmative. The man motioned for them to lead the way as he followed close behind. His grin turned the slightest bit malicious as soon as their heads were turned. His hands moved to the pockets on his hip.

Hayate held the hilt of his sword in a tight-knuckled grip and flickered from his hiding spot to press his blade up against the infiltrator's neck.

"Identify yourself!" he commanded with a harsh tone. The man only grinned, winking over Hayate's shoulder. Suddenly pelted from four angles at once, he gasped in shock only to immediately regret that decision as he began wheezing uncontrollably.

_Dust!?_

Preoccupied by his overreacting lungs, the four ninja made quick work of him.

* * *

**Author's note: I hope y'all enjoyed my take on the genin test. I figured it would be most fun to see it play out from the victim's perspective and tried my best to make their success seem somewhat plausible. More details about the plan will be revealed next chapter.**


	11. Technique Troubles

**Chapter 11: Technique Troubles**

We actually did it. Unbelievable. No, seriously. I could not believe that worked. Sure, it was my plan and all, but I was probably the one least confident. To be fair, Hayate really went easy on us by letting that whole charade play out.

Speaking of…

The poor guy still hadn't quit coughing even after being tied up for a good five minutes. Luckily, he didn't seem to be angry at us for it. He actually seemed quite relieved. Maybe even proud.

"So, this was all planned, then?" he rasped between choking out bits of blackened phlegm, "I sure hope my kids won't be as abusive as you."

"Then you better never dare them to catch you," I chortled.

"As long as I don't allow for outside help," Hayate grumbled, "Speaking of which, who are you?"

"What an odd question," I answered, "Don't you recognize your own student, Sensei?"

The other three snickered at his dumbfounded expression. His head swiveled between me and the three others. He coughed again, not knowing what to say.

Enough bullying. It was high time to dispel the illusion. I nodded to Naruto and we both cancelled our transformations.

"Tadah!"

Hayate already seemed confused before. Now? Utterly stupefied. His mouth mechanically opened and closed without any sound passing his lips. That is, until the coughing started back up again.

I pushed up the rim of my imaginary glasses. "I'm sure you're interested in discovering the truth behind our ruse, my dear sir," I proclaimed in a snooty voice, "It is quite simple, really. This right here is Uzumaki Naruto, my longtime childhood friend."

Hayate got his breathing under control. Raptly attentive, if incredulous.

"When my two teammates told him of our plan, he was quite willing to join in and help us. You see, the poor lad was still stuck inside the academy, fruitlessly waiting for his sensei."

Hayate looked less and less enthused as I went on. "You know, I have not technically passed you yet," he stated. The underlying threat quite clear.

I cut my tirade a little short and returned to my normal speaking voice, "Okay so basically Naruto here came up with a better version of the Transformation Technique that-"

"I call it the Sexy j-" I quickly clapped my hand over his mouth.

"The name is a work in progress," I quickly explained, "Basically we used the improved henge to bait you into the line of fire and.. well the rest you already know."

Hayate gave us a long, hard look. Dread roiled off him momentarily, making me shiver. Then, silence. His emotions closed off completely.

He sighed before speaking, "I didn't explicitly forbid outside help, so I guess I have no other choice but to pass you three."

We nearly broke into cheers if not for his raised finger. _Wait how'd he get out of the bindings?_

"Uzumaki-san, you best get back to your meeting spot. Even Hatake won't be more than two hours late," Hayate advised. "As for you three, we'll meet here and start our training tomorrow at eight o'clock sharp. Get your scrapes treated and rest up until then."

We all smiled wide and Akuma threw her arms around Yuu and me. "We did it!" she cheered, pulling us along. Before we got anywhere Hayate grabbed my other shoulder.

"Actually, there is something I must discuss in private with Ibui-san," he said. Upon seeing the others' distraught faces, he continued, "Don't worry, I won't harm him. You three definitely passed."

I gave Akuma a reassuring nod and then winked at Yuu when she turned around. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Yuu didn't quite catch what I was winking for. No matter. They'll get there eventually.

"So, sensei," I then started, "We heading to T&I?"

He didn't deign to respond and instead asked a question of his own. "Satoya, how many people have you told about this new technique?"

_Uh oh._

"Three. Yuu, Akuma and you, sensei," I said truthfully. "I don't know who Naruto may have told, but I doubt it's any more people than I did."

Hayate hummed. Not sensing his emotions was starting to get on my nerves. "And how many people know you're a sensor?"

Now _that_ was unexpected. "A what now?"

"A sensor. Don't play dumb with me, Ibui," he said without a trace of humor, "The way you reacted to my suppressive technique made it rather obvious."

_Busted then, huh? At least I got to abuse it for my genin test._

"Alright, you got me sensei," I conceded, "I haven't actually told anyone so far. The Hokage probably knows since I was diagnosed with chakra hypersensitivity as a child."

Hayate again went silent, leading me up the academy's steps in a familiar direction.

* * *

"Gekko-san, to what do I owe the pleasure?" questioned Hiruzen in that grandfatherly voice of his.

"Satoya here just completed his test," he responded, "His fire burns bright like the morning sun."

Hiruzen's face went stiff. A tingling pulse arced out from his desk and along the room's walls.

"Truly?" Hiruzen asked, his emotions unreadable.

"Yes, I believe the boy and his friend, Uzumaki Naruto, have made _quite_ the discovery."

Hiruzen chewed on his pipe and looked me in the eyes. "Satoya-san, what is this new Jutsu you've found?" he asked with a stare that quite clearly signified he'd tolerate no deceit.

My throat felt dry as I spoke, "Well, Hokage-sama, I like to call it the Perfect Transformation Technique. Instead of wrapping around the caster like a bubble, it entirely restructures the body in a new image."

The Hokage looked doubtful. After a moment's deliberation, he demanded I perform the technique. I could hardly refuse an order from my Kage, so I extended my chakra outward into the increasingly familiar super network.

"Kanzen Henge no Jutsu!"

The Sandaime now faced a mirror image of himself, pipe and all. I took a long drag for effect only to violently cough.

_Note to self, burning chakra constructs taste like molten plastic. _

Hiruzen started off with a purely visual inspection. He circled around the office to view my -or should I say his?- body from every angle. "The robes flow well, and the wrinkles are adequate," he eventually announced, "A most impressive copy, but that isn't all, is it?"

His second inspection was far more meticulous; Dare I say intrusive. Not only did I feel waves of chakra tingling on my skin. He began getting rather handsy as well. Feeling the fabric of the artificial Hokage garments, tugging skin or prodding my body. I'd have called the cops on him if the Uchiha weren't wiped out.

Then again, his extremely concentrated and inquisitive expression made me doubt the old pervert was even aware of the discomfort I felt from his invasion of personal space. At least until Hayate loudly cleared his throat behind me.

The Hokage blinked a few times, his eyes regaining clarity. "I'm terribly sorry, Satoya-kun. I've forgotten my manners." He looked genuinely apologetic and even bowed at me as he said it! "It isn't every day that I come across a new A rank technique, especially not one created by a fresh academy graduate."

"Wha- A rank!?" I stammered.

A firm nod. "Indeed. A henge can be discovered by a mere cursory inspection. _This_, on the other hand, is a whole different matter. I may not be the greatest sensor, but a technique that can not only so vividly emulate tissue, but even exudes a natural chakra signature…" He trailed off for a moment.

Firmly clasping my shoulders and looking into my eyes he stated his next words very firmly, "The chaos this technique could cause is immeasurable. The information will _not_ leave this room. Understood?"

"Yes sir," I quickly responded, adding, "However, might I add that I find it dubious anyone but myself and Naruto could replicate the technique?"

The Hokage glanced at Hayate, who lightly shrugged, before looking back at me. "And why is that?"

I tumbled over my words as I tried to explain, "Well, you see, as Hayate-san would probably tell you, I'm a sensor."

Hiruzen barely reacted. He'd already known.

"From what I can tell the Kanzen Henge requires greatly enlarged tenketsu to function," I clarified, "So only a chakra monster can cast it… Or someone like me."

_At least, I think._

"What do you mean by that?" Hiruzen questioned.

"Uhm, so I'm pretty self-aware. I mean aware of my chakra…" _How do I explain this? _"Basically, when I was little, I already began… doing things with it. Mostly unknowingly, but it was a way to pass time. Churning it around a bit, stretching my muscles maybe?"

Hiruzen breathed in deeply as something I couldn't quite place lingered in his eyes. The hair on my neck stood on end.

"Let me tell you something," he started, "Years ago when you were diagnosed with hypersensitivity, it was not the only thing we discovered. Your chakra was measured and evaluated in quite some detail, and the results… Let's just say it played a large roll in why I sponsored you to become a shinobi."

_What the heck is he talking about?_

Noting my bewilderment, Hiruzen asked me a question, "Say, Satoya-kun. What can you tell me about chakra?"

"It's a form of energy that flows through all living things. We can manipulate it in various ways to conjure otherwise impossible effects."

Hiruzen nodded along, but my explanation clearly wasn't what he was after. "Very well, but what else can you tell me? What exactly is chakra made of?"

This was getting rather annoying. "Chakra is made of physical and spiritual energy?" I nonetheless responded. It was such a non-answer, but with neither modern scientific tools nor much interest, I never really questioned what chakra _was,_ just how I could use it.

To my surprise, it seemed that my explanation was precisely where Hiruzen wanted to lead my thoughts. "Indeed Satoya, and I'd like to focus on the dichotomy of the two energies," Hiruzen recounted. "You see, physical energy is based on your body's fitness, strength, stamina and durability, which is fairly straightforward to enhance. Spiritual energy on the other hand, depends on your mental acuity."

"So... is this a roundabout way of telling me I'm especially smart?" I interrupted, making Hiruzen huff out a short laugh before once again smoothing out his expression.

"In a sense, all ninjas are smart," he replied, "The academy provides a stable foundation for physical and mental development. Meditation and study are both very valuable methods to increase the potency of our spiritual energy. However, there is another method which cannot be taught, merely acquired: _Experience_. Our spiritual energy gradually matures just as we do. It is why most old folk like me have more spiritual energy than physical."

So, similarly to how an adult was naturally stronger than a child, an adult automatically produced more spiritual energy too. _Wait. Wouldn't that imply..._

"Okay… How does your being an old geezer apply to me?" I probed.

"_Prodding around with your chakra, _as you put it, would certainly aid your pathways' development, but not to the degree you've experienced. The only explanation is that you've always produced chakra at a far higher rate than your peers. A fact confirmed by our examination years ago," the Hokage explained, taking a long drag from his pipe. "Can you guess which form of energy you have an excess of?"

_Ain't that a loaded question?_ Physical hinged on the body. Spiritual hinged on the mind. It wasn't very difficult to come up with which was more pronounced.

"No," I lied, "Maybe physical because I did lots of training?"

I wasn't sure if Hiruzen bought my obliviousness, but he continued his speech without batting an eye, "You grew up with an extreme imbalance of physical and spiritual chakra, Satoya. The ratio was so strongly skewed, had I not seen you in person, I would have expected the readings to come from a paraplegic adult."

Hiruzen certainly dropped that last bit on me like a pile of bricks. The ensuing silence weighed heavily, and I wasn't sure how to respond. I tried anyway, "Well, I don't _think_ I'm an adult." My halfhearted chuckle did little to lighten my mood.

"By luck or destiny, you were fortunate to have engaged in such rigorous physical training from a young age," he remarked offhand, "Else you may have been crippled for life."

My mouth felt dry as I pressed my lips into a thin line.

"Don't worry, child. By all means you are a fit, healthy individual," the Hokage assured, "In fact your unique disposition has certainly turned to your favor."

"Thank you, sir," I croaked.

At last Hiruzen smiled, giving his final statement, "And if what you say is true, perhaps we don't need to worry about the world devolving into chaos by the discovery of an improved infiltration technique."

* * *

The rest of the afternoon had been spent by me trying to teach _my own teacher_ how to use my -well, Naruto's- technique all under the watchful gaze of the byakugan, courtesy of Hyuuga Ko. The session served to confirm my statements. Few people could ever replicate the jutsu.

I arrived at home late that evening. Dusting off my shoes, I heard an uncharacteristically quiet voice behind me, "Hey Sato."

"What's got you so down, Naruto?" I ask. I didn't want him to bottle up his emotions too much.

"Kakashi sensei seems really disinterested," he explained, "Like, I don't think he even wants to be there. And I can't imagine being in a team with the other two."

How attached would Naruto be to his team without a crush? I hedged on the side of caution when I spoke my piece, "If our future Hokage is on the team, it must mean the other two have great potential as well! Maybe it's fate?"

Naruto listlessly responded, "But it's just... I don't know, they don't feel right to me. Why couldn't I have ended up in a team with Kiba and you?"

I shrugged, "Isn't having a rival on your team good motivation? Just like the Shodaime and Uchiha Madara! Sasuke's an Uchiha as well, isn't he? With him pushing you forwards I'm sure you'll get strong in no time!"

I reassuringly clapped his shoulder. "Now, why don't I make us some dinner?"

Naruto's eyes instantly brightened before suddenly darkening again, "Kakashi-sensei said we shouldn't eat anything before tomorrow's test."

_Oh yeah, I remember that._

"Did he explicitly forbid it, or only advise against it?" I asked, knowing the answer. "Because don't worry, I'll cook something easy on the stomach, so you definitely won't feel sick tomorrow."

Since Naruto had no counterarguments, I happily got to work. I'd be damned if I let Naruto go through Kakashi's stupid test on an empty stomach!

I listened to Naruto rant about Kakashi's tardiness as I cooked, hinting he'd also be late tomorrow. During dinner our topic of discussion veered to my meeting the Hokage about our 'sexy technique' which degraded into a debate on which name we should officially call it.

Only once we finished our meal did I ask the question that had been burning in the back of my mind since graduation night, "Do you think you could teach me the Shadow Clone technique?"

He looked a lot more surprised by that question than I felt made sense. "Why do you want _me _to teach you?", he asked, "You complained so much last time!"

_Did I really? Okay, yeah maybe a little bit…_

"Well, I still got the technique down in the end, didn't I?" I challenged.

"Yeah, but I was the only one who knew the sexy jutsu, ya know?" he responded, "Can't you ask your sensei to teach you?"

"Not really…", I started, but upon second thought, "Okay, maybe I could. But I want to impress the others tomorrow! And I doubt our teacher will teach us any A-rank techniques on our first day."

Not that I was _sure_ about any of that. The only teacher I knew about was Kakashi, but that dude taught his students jacked shit in the manga. At least until the chunin exam.

_No, actually even then, he only taught Sasuke. Kakashi kinda sucks, doesn't he? Maybe I should teach Naruto a few things when I have the time… _

Speaking of, the kid still hadn't answered my query. "So?" I asked, "Will you try and teach me? I _did_ just cook for you. And also saved your life on Friday."

Seeing his continued reluctance, I continued, "I promise I'll be absolutely respectful in every way. I won't raise my voice and I'll follow your instructions to the letter."

Naruto grumbled something about me only using him for his ninjutsu, but I ignored it. He might pretend otherwise, but I knew he enjoyed being needed.

* * *

"What do you mean _not like this_!? HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IT!?" I yelled at my knuckleheaded sensei. "This isn't how the normal clone works!"

"NO DUH YOU DUMBASS!" Naruto shouted back, "Because it's way cooler than the normal clone!"

God dammit! This kid really wasn't any good at teaching. Dear lord. Why did I think this was a good idea again? Oh yeah, because last time he taught me a technique it utterly carried me in the… not-bell test. I needed a better shorthand for that.

"Look, I get it Naruto, it isn't like the academy clone," I stated calmly, "But, how is it different? You just say push more chakra outwards and then make weird shapes with your hands!"

"I don't know! I just read the scroll and tried it out a bunch," he responded with a groan. "Maybe I should just go steal the forbidden scroll again for you."

I couldn't help but burst out laughing. "That," I eventually said after calming down, "is an awful idea. Even if you stole it, I doubt I'd be able to learn it in a few hours like you did."

Naruto scrunched up his nose in confusion. "Why wouldn't you? It really isn't very hard," he explained. "It actually feels a little like the Sexy J-"

"Perfect Transformation!" I shouted before he could finish.

Naruto's scowl would have given Sasuke a run for his money. Why was he so attached to that dumb name?

"As I was gonna say, shadow clones are like a transformation outside your body. I just make a sphere of chakra and then shape it ya know?"

_I'm an idiot. Of course that's how the technique works! The transformation layers a network over you, and shadow clones all have copies of your chakra system. It makes total sense!_

"That was a very helpful bit of advice, Naruto," I said with an appreciative smile. "Thank you for your help!"

Checking the time, I suppressed a yawn. The sun had long gone down during my tutoring session.

"Naruto, we best get some shuteye," I advised, "It's nearly midnight and we both have to get up early tomorrow."

I escorted him out of my apartment with a stern reminder _not _to show up on time tomorrow, cleaned up for the night, and then crawled into bed.

Sleep evaded me.

For over an hour I lied there, fruitlessly attempting to calm my drumming heart. That stupid clone technique refused to let me. So many of my plans hinged on it. So many things I wanted to test out and abuse.

"Fuck it," I mumbled to myself, "Not like I'm resting anyway."

I slithered out beneath my sheets and sat up on the bed. I just had to succeed once, and I could rest easy. Only once.

By the time I finally heard the telltale high pitched note followed by a puff of smoke, I could already see the beginnings of dawn creeping over the mountainside.

I was low on both chakra and physical energy, and the clone split my meagre reserves in two. "Huh," was all I managed before the clone and I collapsed atop each other and fell backwards onto the bed.

* * *

The alarm came far too soon for my liking. I reached out for it only to feel someone else's hand already there. I rubbed my eyes and stared at the person I reached over.

"Oh right," I murmured, "You're still here."

"Isn't that my line?" answered my look-alike, "Aren't you the clone?"

_Wait. Am I the clone? Which way I was facing when I cast the technique?_

"Uhm, I don't know?" I responded, "Can we test it somehow?"

"Ugh, I'm too tired to think about this," my -maybe not- clone mumbled. "Can't I just poke you with a knife or something?"

"A stab wound first thing in the morning?" I questioned, "Not that it doesn't sound tantalizing but…" it didn't.

"Well, can't I just cancel the technique somehow?" my copy asked, "Pretty sure there's a way to do that."

Except Naruto didn't teach us that part. My copy likely concluded the same as he hopped off the bed in search of a knife. My gnawing stomach urged me to follow him.

I grabbed a bread knife, as he took a steak knife.

We eyed each other.

"Uh, what are you planning to do with that thing?" I asked somewhat nervous.

"What do you mean?" he responded, feigning ignorance, "I'll just be a small cut."

_Okay, maybe not feigning ignorance. _

"Aren't you feeling hungry?" I ask, stepping away from the dangerously sharp object.

My clone furrowed his brows for a moment. "Not really… I mostly just feel tired."

"Guess now we know who the clone is," I concluded, relaxing my shoulders.

My clone immediately tightened his grip and opened his eyes wide in panic. He then ran into a corner and held the knife up in a defensive stance.

"Stay away from me!" he shrieked, "I don't want to hurt you!"

I just stood there with my mouth agape. Of all ways for him to react, a panic attack was not what I'd expected.

_It's too early for this shit._

"Look, man," I started, "You either dispel voluntarily, or I'll make you."

It took just about half a second for me to recognize those were _not _the right words to say. The poor guy seemed to get overtaken by existential terror, as he curled up into a ball and began sobbing. I would have approached were it not for the knife still pointed in my direction.

Was I really that pathetic? Seriously? Then again, putting myself in his shoes… Okay yeah. I'd probably be a little uncomfortable with dispelling myself into oblivion.

"You know what," I announced, "How about you just go back to sleep. We're both tired and if I dispelled you now, we'd just compound our exhaustion."

"NO WAY!" he cried, "You'll just kill me in my sleep! Or... Or ask Naruto how to dispel me!"

"I'm not gonna kill you! It shouldn't even be seen as dying you're just a chakra construct!" I argued. This was starting to get on my nerves. Scratch that, it was already pissing me off.

"I'm not just a construct, asshole!" the construct shouted back, "I have thoughts and feelings too!"

"God dammit, stop with this stupid nonsense!" I barked, "You're an extension of me. You don't die, your memory literally gets transferred!"

"Shut up! I know you wouldn't let yourself dispel if our positions were switched!"

"Bullcrap! I wouldn't waver for a single moment if I knew I was the clone."

"Oh yeah?" the clone challenged, anger roiling off him in waves, "prove it!"

"How? By killing myself?" I snarked, "I can't dispel if I'm the original you idiot."

"Don't call yourself an idiot, dumbass!" he nagged, "Just cast the jutsu again and see how the copy reacts when you ask him to dispel!"

"That-" was not a bad idea… "Okay yeah, I'll do that."

If my second clone felt as much of a need to prove my first clone wrong as I did, then I doubt he'd hesitate for a second.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Another puff of chakra, another clone. "You know what to do," I told my new copy.

"Ehh you know on second thought, I don't think I will," clone #2 declared.

"Seriously!?"

"Nah man, I'm just messing with you," clone #2 chided. He then proceeded to slam his head into the kitchen counter and disappear.

Phantom pain pulsed across my forehead as I could suddenly recall the short conversation from both sides. My other clone stood, mouth agape, as his personality was suddenly merged with my own.

"We good?" I asked the no longer enraged clone.

"Uh," his voice cracked, "I think so… I don't remember being so pissed at myself in a long time."

_Oh yeah, he gets the memory transfer too._

If only I had thought of that strategy to begin with.

"So," I spoke up as I cut off a slice of bread, "You heading back to sleep? I wasn't kidding about needing a boost of energy."

His scuffle back to my bedroom was all the confirmation he gave. I added that he should dispel once he's well-rested and continued my morning routine unobstructed.

I left my apartment not long after, meeting up with Naruto as per usual, so we could walk together.

"I heard shouting," he mentioned, "What was that about?"

"Ah nothing, just some clone business," I cryptically replied, "How do you so easily get your copies to follow orders? I got the technique down in case it isn't obvious."

"Congrats! I guess you just had to sleep on it, huh?" Naruto replied, oblivious to my sleep-deprived state. "And about giving orders… Maybe I'm just a natural leader. I gotta be decisive to become Hokage ya know? But wouldn't you always listen to your own advice?"

"Let's just say my clone and I had some differing opinions," I remarked and left it at that. It'd be a cold day in hell before I admitted to my clone's existential crisis.


	12. Reluctant Assistance

**Chapter 12: Reluctant Assistance**

It was a beautiful day. Not too hot and not to cold. Just the right amount of sun. By all means, taking a morning walk with my best friend should have been quite pleasant, if not for two things.

One, I had far too little coffee -and by that I mean none- in my system. Two, Naruto was far too excited for my zombie-like state to handle. "I hope our test as cool as yours was! Do you think I can trick Kakashi with the Oiroke as well?"

Suppressing my urge to yawn, I made an attempt to sound at least halfway enthusiastic, "It might work, but if your sensei's test is combat-oriented…" I gave a noncommittal shrug.

Naruto was no doubt piecing together some plan to catch his teacher by surprise as we spoke. Not that it would matter much. As I recalled, Naruto was like a little brother to Kakashi. He'd undoubtedly pass his team if they were anywhere close to halfway decent.

_Wait, they have their test… why is Naruto still here?_

Even as we got closer and closer to training ground three, Naruto never left my side.

"Aren't you supposed to meet your own team?" I mused, "Not that I don't appreciate the company, but your teammates might get worried."

"I _am_ going to where my teammates are?" he responded.

I quickened my pace with Naruto lagging behind, and stumbled into view of a group of bickering genin. Well, two bickering kunoichi and two silently cringing shinobi behind them.

As it turned out, Kakashi didn't actually bother to check if training ground three was already booked or not.

"YOU'RE LATE!" shouted Sakura at Naruto.

"This bitch here stole our spot!" added Akuma.

"Stop lying!" yelled Sakura, "Our sensei told us to meet him here today. He even handed out a pamphlet!"

"If that's true then where the heck is he!?" Akuma yelled right back.

"Now now, why don't we all calm down?" I tried to intervene holding up a ration bar, "I heard from Naruto that you weren't allowed to eat."

Temptation danced in Sakura's eyes for a moment, but she quickly squashed it down with pure force of will. "No. Unlike _some_ people," she hissed, giving Naruto a pointed look, "_I _don't want to get puke on my outfit."

I knew she was in the wrong, but didn't push the issue. Sasuke on the other hand muttered thanks and gladly took my offering.

"S-Sasuke?" Sakura gaped, "What are you doing?"

"If he already lied about showing up at seven, why should I trust his other orders?" Sasuke reasoned.

Sakura couldn't quite argue with that logic. Seeing her downcast expression I took out another ration. "Here, take it. I packed more than enough," I offered.

"Thanks, Ibui-san. Sorry about shouting earlier…" Her apology was aimed at me as much as Akuma.

I waved her off. "Don't sweat it. You're not you when you're hungry," I chuckled to myself at the memory of that stupid commercial. Sakura just looked confused.

"Ignore him," Yuu pitched in, "He consistently utters nonsensical phrases like that."

"Hey! They're not nonsensical you uncultured swine!" I said with a pout.

Yuu gave Sakura a look that communicated 'you see what I mean?' and she raised her chin in understanding. Bullying. They were bullying me!

I was about spout some rather colorful words, but instead yelped in surprised and stumbled backwards onto the ground when Hayate popped into existence right in front of us. I hadn't sensed his chakra at all.

"Good morning," he said with a smug grin, "It's eight o'clock, let us be off."

Before any of us could raise a word of complaint, our sensei hopped off into the forest. For a moment all of us just stared, dumbfounded. At least until Naruto shouted out how unfair it was that we got a punctual teacher.

"Think of it this way," I mentioned before leaving, "You'll be able to sleep in every morning from now on."

* * *

After a lengthy walk to the far end of the training ground, Hayate finally seemed satisfied. "This should be far enough from Hatake's shenanigans," he dryly remarked, "In case you were wondering, we're sharing ground three since many senseis are running their test today."

I supposed with how dangerous some of the other practice areas were it made sense. Who in their right mind would train in the forest of death?

"First and foremost, a piece of advice. Cooperation is the path to victory, and I will not tolerate unnecessary squabbling. Not between you three, nor between teams. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sensei," We collectively answered.

"Good. On the subject of teamwork, We'll be doing a whole lot of team building drills today, and for the foreseeable future. I would like to mention, however, that this team will _not_ be trained purely for frontal combat. As I am an infiltration and investigation specialist, that will also be our team's focus."

Intel gathering? Seriously? That was such a redshirt occupation!

'_Why don't I check out this Akatsuki base? Oh shit Zetsu ate me!'_

No way was I going to let him start with nothing but teamwork and scouting. There were only three months until the chunin exams in July, where everything went to shit. I would _not_ die a pathetic off-screen death.

_Like, getting eaten by a huge snake. Or like that guy who peeped on Kabuto before the chunin invasion and got sliced ap-_

My heart fluttered and eyes widened in recognition. Hayate Gekko: Chunin proctor murdered before the invasion.

Shit.

"Satoya, did you even hear what I just told you?" asked Hayate, "Is something wrong?"

"You.." _are going to die_. "I.."_ don't know what to say._

"Infiltration!?" shouted out Akuma before I could recover, "A swordmaster doesn't _hide_!"

Yuu tried his best to calm the raging Akuma while I struggled to find my voice. One could see the growing disappointment spilling over Hayate's features, like a hazy black shimmer.

"We are not Samurai, Akuma. We are ninja," Hayate huffed, likely having held this conversation before, "We are covert. We do not fight fair. We evaluate our opponent's strengths and weaknesses. We strike with deadly precision. We give no quarter. Even the Seven Swordsmen of Kiri focus on stealth with their silent killing techniques."

I filed my previous revelation away for later and snorted in disbelief. His explanation gave me such strong tonal whiplash I could only find it humorous.

"You can't be serious, Sensei? Ninja aren't covert, they blast each other with loud, hugely destructive Jutsu on a daily basis," I vehemently contended, "Didn't the shinobi world wars have tons of open combat? Minato Namikaze faced off against and entire army for goodness sake! You can hardly tell me that counts as a discreet maneuver."

The Naruto world wasn't about silent assassins, it was about superpowered warriors knocking each other senseless. The ninja thing was purely aesthetic!

Hayate wholeheartedly disagreed. "The stories you've heard are just that: Stories. Embellished tales of our most elite warriors. A large part of the ninja population never makes it past genin. They can use one, maybe two widely destructive jutsu before they're spent."

"But sensei," Yuu interjected, "Large scale strategic combat nevertheless played an important role back then, did it not?"

For a fleeting moment Hayate looked very grim. The moment passed, and he pinched the bridge of his nose when he answered, "Yes, open warfare happened on _occasion_. Most of it, however? Surgical strikes, sabotage, ambushes, assassination... We used every dirty trick in the book. We protected Konoha's citizens by any means."

"But doesn't _by any means_ include fighting head-on?" I interrupt.

"Only _on occasion. _Long, drawn out fights are left to the elite of the elite, but not your average ninja. The few missions wherein one openly shows themselves are usually guard and escort duty. A type of mission that _our _team will not be delegated to."

I barely managed to restrain myself from shouting at Hayate and calling him out on his bullshit.

Hayate noticed. "I understand you find this upsetting, but that technique of yours is probably the most impressive infiltration technique I've ever come across. It would be a shame not to abuse it."

Our teacher's words rang true.

My views were based on a story had focused on the least stealthy ninja of all time. A jinchuuriki; Essentially a beacon of chakra to anyone with even the slightest sensing ability. A powerhouse in his own right, but most people couldn't even dream to reach Naruto's level.

I had to think logically. This wasn't a fictional world anymore. All those unmentioned no-names? In a real world there was no such thing as unimportant characters. Those lesser known people were simply the more covert of the bunch. And if they weren't covert, they wouldn't live for long.

Objectively speaking I was most useful as an infiltrator. And yet…

I had no intention of remaining on the bottom rung. I had to gain a lot more power if I wanted to survive all the shit that the canon storyline threw my way. If I ever came face to face with a Bijuu, S-rank missing nin, or heck a resurrected Madara? I was toast.

"I just don't have much faith in that strategy, sensei. There are all sorts of cataclysmic forces in our world. Any kind of planning goes out the window if we ever stumble into them. We _need_ to be capable fighters, even if as a last resort."

Hayate obsessively cleared his throat as he digested my words. "You bring up valid points," he said. _-Wait really?- _"Limiting you three to my own area of expertise would be short sighted. I seem to have forgotten that my own teacher had not only imparted his own wisdom, but helped us forge our own path."

"You aren't angry with me?" I asked in disbelief.

He gave something between a chuckle and cough. "Why would I be angry? You allowed me the opportunity to be a better teacher," he responded. "How about this; At the end of the day each of you tell me something you wish to learn. I will do my best to procure materials for tomorrow and teach you the basics. However, let me warn you that it may require a lot of self study if it's a topic I know little about."

_We, three civilians, got a legitimately devoted teacher for our team? Unbelievable._

There was no way Konoha's bureaucratic body had expected Hayate Gekko to be competent. Why in the world would they give team seven _Kakashi_ of all people and then give a bunch of randos Hayate?

_Logically speaking Kakashi should have been a far better teacher than he turned out to be. I can't fault them there…_

Akuma spoke up beside me, "Alright sensei, you better be ready to teach me everything you know about Kenjutsu tomorrow!" Her eyes shone with the flames of determination. Literally. I feel like I might catch fire from standing too close.

Hayate only laughed. "I like your conviction. Let's first see how you do in today's exercises. We'll start with five laps around the grounds to warm up. Make sure to smile as you run past your classmates!"

Jogging, I could do. I'd hoped for something more exciting, but after his earlier concession I had no complaints. That is… until we started lap two.

Lap one had been innocent enough; Each of us cheekily smiling and waving as we passed the sulking team 7, joking around and having a good time.

It went downhill from there.

The sound of our teacher's shadow clone dispelling surprised me to such a degree, I stumbled over my own two feet and faceplanted onto the ground. I should have expected it, really. Hayate had such a sneaky skill set, being a prankster was only natural. In my defense I was extremely sleep-deprived, and had been quite tired.

Not-so thankfully, getting pelted by ice-cold water balloons mere moments later woke me up real quick. The remaining four laps were spent dodging and weaving the incoming ranged assault as we sprinted to complete our run.

Hayate went on to explain it had been a lesson about never letting our guard down, even in what one considered friendly territory.

In my opinion he'd just wanted revenge for our surprise attack yesterday.

By the time our lunch break finally arrived, the three of us, drenched and exhausted, collapsed in a heap on the ground.

The rest of our 'team building exercises' had all followed the same general logic as the first: We were told to complete a basic objective, and Hayate would engage to make things difficult. Half the time we had to give up on the objective completely and retreat back to our starting positions, which had been deemed 'friendly territory'.

Hayate had happily dumped a bucket of cold water over our heads the first time we reached our safe space, reminding us to remain ever vigilant even after a seeming escape.

"Sensei," Akuma growled, "You suck."

Hayate had the gall to look dejected when he heard that. Handing us a bunch of towels he began to explain, "Even if you might not agree, I'm doing this for your own good. It is of utmost importance to accurately assess the potential danger on any mission. To know when calling it off entirely is the smartest move, and to learn how to escape, well, _mostly _unscathed."

I would have glowered at him, but my eyelids felt far too heavy to open.

"Take Satoya, for example," our sensei began. _Oh boy _"Strongly sleep deprived, and chose to show up nonetheless. For any halfway dangerous mission, a lack of energy is potentially deadly."

I slowly sat up to protest and fought off my urge to yawn since it would invalidate my statement. Hayate likely found my struggles hilarious, even if his expression and aura were unreadable.

"Why _are_ you so tired, Satoya?" Yuu asked, "Did something trouble you last night?"

"No, actual-", I broke off when my mind was assaulted by a short stab of pain, followed by half-forgotten memories of a conversation I'd had earlier this morning. "Woa. Okay, I didn't expect that."

A bizarre mix of grogginess and wakefulness suffused my awareness, followed by a sharp stab of cranial pain. My clone must have dissipated in his sleep. The ability's chakra upkeep likely surpassed that which my clone could naturally replenish. _Do clones even generate chakra?_ More research… My to-do list just kept getting longer and longer.

I glanced at Yuu, still waiting for me to finish my response. After a quick apology, I explained that I'd gotten carried away learning the Shadow Clone Technique and that I left a clone back home to sleep some more. Hayate's eyes bulged when I finished my explanation.

"Satoya. Don't keep a clone active for too long, you could easily harm yourself," he warned.

"You mean because of the compounded exhaustion?" I asked, knowing the answer, "Why exactly is it dangerous?"

"No. While it is a well-known associated risk, the true danger lies in the technique's memory transferral," he explained, much to my surprise. "You see, many have come up with the idea to train themselves using clones in the past. However, those that have done so for multiple weeks, let alone months or years, all ended up insane, comatose, or worse."

Keeping clones active for extended periods would eventually cause irrevocable brain damage. Who'd have thought?

"Okay sensei, I promise not to abuse the technique," I meekly replied and Hayate relaxed his shoulders. Sadly for him, I had no intention of keeping my word.

I spent the rest of our break silently contemplating the underlying cause for mental damage and how I could circumvent it. Extensive testing would need to be done, and that would likely require some more help from my foxy friend.

* * *

Thankfully the afternoon had been more interesting than running around like headless chickens. Hayate taught us various strategies of how to deal with opponents who were faster and stronger than us, and also how to push our advantages when we knew to be the superior force.

I had newfound respect for the poor fight choreographers who had a single character battle a horde of opponents in movies. It turned out that a group of people attacking a single target without getting in each other's way was a lot harder than I'd assumed.

Besides that, Hayate also gave each of us one on one coaching via shadow clones, improving any gaps he saw in our fighting styles, or in Akuma's case beginning to teach the basics of Kenjutsu.

Time flew by and as the day drew to a close, Hayate finally called us up and asked the promised question, "What do you three wish to learn more about?"

Akuma smugly smirked at him. "You already know, sensei. I'll trust whatever general skills you'll teach besides Kenjutsu."

He nodded, glancing at me next. "I think… for now I want to increase my sensory abilities. The better I can sense and understand chakra, the easier it will be to learn ninjutsu in the future."

Yuu stated his wish last. "Fuuinjutsu. I believe sealing techniques will greatly benefit my trapmaking abilities."

Hayate nodded in agreement and we all said our goodbyes. My head buzzed with activity all the way home. I'd gone through all that effort to learn the Kage Bunshin. I'd patiently waited for years and years until the graduation ceremony. All for naught.

I had to find Naruto as quickly as possible. I needed to figure out how he could possibly spend so many years summoning hundreds of clones without melting his brain. I knocked on his door as soon as I came home.

"Oi, Naruto. I have important info concerning your super awesome technique!"

He didn't answer. Where could he have gone? I knew Kakashi would pass them around noon when they ate lunch, so he should have been home…

_He's probably hanging out with Kiba again…_

I felt a pang of jealousy. _What am I, his mom?_ I reminded myself Naruto had his own social life and I shouldn't intrude. After having cooked and eaten dinner for one, I decided to brush up my manga creation skills to pass the time until he showed up.

_The bastard better not beg me for food when he arrives._

* * *

The sun was already beginning to set when I heard a knock on my door. "Come in," I spoke, putting away my painting supplies and cracking my cramp fingers.

"Hi Sato!" he cheerfully said, ignorant of how late it was. "I'm back, and I passed my test!"

I let out a short breath of relief from finally hearing those words aloud. "I figured as much since you weren't moping around," I ribbed, "How was Kiba? I assume his team succeeded as well."

Naruto confirmed my assessment and asked, "So what you been up to all day?"

"You know, training. I actually learned something quite unfortunate today..." I began, and proceeded to repeat Hayate's warning about the Kage Bunshin to the best of my ability.

Naruto looked outraged that his most prized jutsu could be so self destructive. "Seriously!? That can't be true. Shouldn't I have picked up on it? At least a little bit?"

"Maybe you should have, maybe not? I can't really say", I responded, "Have you noticed anything strange after releasing swaths of clones? I doubt you keep them around for too long…"

Naruto paced around the apartment for a bit, before falling backwards into my still unmade bed. "The first time, after I fought Mizuki and they all poofed, it felt really weird for a bit. Like everything was moving away from me?"

"You mean dizzy?" I asked.

"No, like… the world wasn't spinning or anything. It felt more like I was scattered all over the place for a moment. And when I tried to remember what happened before I dispelled them, it got worse. My memory of the fight was all muddled and… fractured?"

That didn't sound good. Was it possible this universe simply adhered to different rules? Were plot-holes in the original show patched out, leaving Naruto doomed to eventual self destruction?

"And what about now? What happens if you try and remember your fight with Mizuki?" I asked, dreading the worst.

"It's more separate now. I can still remember the fight from many angles, but it's not as weird. If I had to explain, it felt like experiencing a thousand memories at once, but now I can pick them apart."

His fight was a few days ago now, maybe the mind coped. I thought back to my self-discussion earlier in the morning… _Oh wow. That feels super weird._ Like hearing double throughout the whole conversation. Not only that, experiencing the terror and rage of two separate entities at once…

I let out a pained groan as I felt a sharp stab of pain behind my eyes. I definitely could _not_ pick them apart yet. Naruto quickly crouched down beside me.

_Wait, when did I fall to the floor?_

"Are you okay?"

I assured him I was fine and got up to lie next to him on the far more comfortable bed. I then petitioned Naruto to create a clone and hold a conversation with himself, which he agreed to.

"So, what are we supposed to talk about?" Naruto questioned his clone.

"Don't look at me boss, what do I know?" the clone responded.

"The topic isn't important anyway. Just engage with him for a bit and warn me when you're about to dispel."

After a moment's deliberation, Naruto and his clone began to play rock paper scissors. It was quite amusing to witness his incredible luck facing off against himself. They managed ten draws in a row, strategizing for more and more time between each round, until eventually Naruto was too fed up to continue and punched his clone in the face.

"Wait!", I yelped a second too late, "Dammit, now I can't try and piece together what happens."

Naruto ashamedly scratched the back of his head. "Sorry, I forgot."

"Nevermind," I sighed, "We can always try again. What do you remember?"

"I remember the conversation and getting annoyed at never winning," he stated, "And I remember punching my clone and getting punched…"

I raise an eyebrow in askance. "Are the memories merged together? Do you feel anything strange?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nope, seems normal."

"**The fuck!?" **I reflexively shouted out in English. "No weird double-up memories? Totally normal?"

Naruto nodded in affirmation. In turn, I summoned a clone of my own, who promptly headed out to the bathroom, humming some catchy 2000s pop song. On my end, I hummed some classic rock. We kept at it for around a minute before my clone headbutted the wall and disappeared.

I could recall what had happened in painfully perfect clarity. A dissonant dichotomy of overlayed sights and sounds. It seemed that a ninja's reinforced memory might be more of a curse than a gift in this instance.

"Ugh, that feels awful. No wonder people end up going crazy…" I mumble. "It still doesn't explain why it doesn't affect you."

"Cause I'm awesome!" Naruto gleefully exclaimed. Seeing my dubious demeanor, he suggested a do over so I could 'try my scanning thing this time.'

I agreed, and he summoned another clone. After a repeat of last time's events, I made sure to focus on the exact moment he dispelled his clone. What followed smothered what remained of my trust in the laws of physics. The clone's chakra signal disappeared on one side, and instantaneously reappeared on the other.

_Higher dimensional travel?_

The revelation was quickly filed away so I could continue my inspection. The clone's pathway intertwined with Naruto's own, the chakra in his head diffusing at a slower rate than in the rest of his body.

Normally I wouldn't be able to make heads or tails of the situation. However, the Jinchuuriki's gigantic reserves, and the foreboding feeling of harsh, monstrous chakra, emanating from Naruto's brain, painted a very distinct picture.

Despite its malicious mentality setting off warning bells in the back of my head, there was only one explanation. "Naruto, I think the Kyuubi has been helping you."

* * *

**Author's Note: The next chapter is at least a month away, as I have all eight of my final exams in August. I'll get back to working on the story when I can afford to use my bursts of motivation on hobby-work instead of studying.  
****Have a nice summer y'all!**


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